November 04, 2002
Arise My Minions! To Arms!
I call upon thee to wreak my vengeance upon the accursed Orlando Sentinel, my brothers and sisters! For they have affronted the Great Solonor, Lord of Central Florida Blogdom (subject to ratification by two-thirds of the Blog Senate).
Remember the little interview I did for them that I was so very excited about? I know I mentioned it at least once... Anyway, they ran their stupid little story without me! ME! Best. Blogger. Ever.™
The sneaky little worms picked Halloween to run the story, knowing full-well that would be the day Pepperkat would break her foot. Hey...wait a minute...they probably arranged for that, too! Bastidges!
Of course, if I read Mark Lane every day (like I'm supposed to), I would have found out about it sooner. He is a worthy compatriot, left aghast and agog at the turn of events. Um, well, agog at least... But thanks to the ever-vigilant Dragonleg, I have been alerted to their nefarious plot to rob me of my richly deserved spotlight in what Lee (if that is his real name) calls "the fishwrap."
Sure, sure, I know, the people they highlighted are very worthy and fun to read and all. (I love blissfully bitter already.) But they didn't even include TECHFLUID--winner of the August 2002 Bloggy for Best Design. Sheesh! [heh heh...I'll get on her blogroll, yet...mwahaha]
Sure, sure, it's just a backwater news story in a backwater newspaper in a backwater town. But it's my backwater town. I guess I could get a spot in the Apopka Planter, but it's not the same.
Maybe the Bangor Daily News will do a story about bloggers who moved to Florida and use a silly pen name. Nah. They'd probably dis me too...
Help me decide, people. I have two choices. Continue with this vicious vendetta? Or pout?
Pouting takes less energy.
Who's with me?
I pout well....
But we can barrage them with flames if you like.
Say the word, oh blog-master. Or is that blog-meister?
After all, I follow out in front, very well....
No, please, no flaming. I will break their will with my pout-a-thon.
....The sneaky little worms picked Halloween to run the story, knowing full-well that would be the day Pepperkat would break her foot....
Those Bastards!
Who wants cookies?
A pout-a-thon?
I'm there!!!
Cookies and beer! And pouts a-plenty...
Oh, don't pout. He neglected to include what I do for a living and chose to focus on two stories I told him rather than all the brilliant things I had to say about blogs. And he messed up my quote. What, me bitter?
If it soothes your furrowed brow, he's from Alabama (of course, so am I).
Glad you like my blog. Whee!
No! You'll not divert my wrath with faint hope of cookies and beer....um...oatmeal raisin cookies?
NO! I must be strong. Must... continue... pouting... I wish Bill would show up... she pouts real good.
Egad! Two Kat's?? Several Christines?? Dozens of Mike's?? How will I keep it all straight?
Ha! There's not too many Lester's, at least...and DEFINITELY few Solonor's... bwahahaha.. um... I mean ... *pout*
I want molasses cookies with my Sam Adams, puh-lease
*summon Bill successful*
Ah, spit or swallow, you whiny bitch! *cough* erm, I mean, um, AWWWWWWWWW......
Bah. Bah I say! I've been interviewed for a variety of media and darling, most of the time, if they do include you, they make yuo look like a complete and utter idiot. Quotes out of context, highly selective use of source material.... gods, be happy you weren't used.
Although funnily enough, the worst article about me *ever* ended up with me and the journalist becoming pretty good friends on the strength of the ragging-out I gave him afterwards. :D
But still, if you insist: "It's not FAIR! I'm old enough to be a Jedi knight and use a light sabre ALL BY MYSELF!"
And remember, whenever a young jedi pouts, DRINK!
Yeah, baby! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Cookies. Beer. Pouting Jedi. Beer.
What the hell were they thinking not including this fine example of blogging?
Should we push it and try to summon the demon wench herself? What would the neighbors think?
*reads article*
Feh!
"Blogs aren't just about what people eat for breakfast, they're deep and life-affirming too!" [proceeds to quote only the most deviantly inane examples possible from blogs in question]
I dunno man, Michele wakes up at 4:30 every morning, god knows what time she gets to bed...
(Hehe - insinuating she is too old to play with the big kids at night should get her over here in a trice ;)
I'm on my way to bed right now, but I will be pouting all the way.
And I'm not old damn it.
And I will wreak havoc upon the Orlando Sentinel. Just you wait.
Pout.Pout.Pout.
Yay! I feel so much better now. I mean WORSE now. *pout* *pout* *pout*
Holy crap! I still have 3000 frickin' words to write. Aigh! Dragonleg, you sidetracked me, curse your scaly hide...
Ooh, and I called her "demon wench" without getting inciner....ow!
"Demon Wench" is fine. *I* called her OLD.
I am a dead woman.
Now, you didn't actually CALL her old...it was just a suggestion (though..whew! 40, I mean, that is really...HEY!).
Hey, buddy, you an' me are 40, too!
Get writing! I'm at 6716, Monkey Boy!
Only 3025 words to go tonight, before I'm all caught up to pace. Old man! ppppptthhhh...
And remember: I hate you.
I'm still waiting for the rest of my minions to check in. Hopefully, they're all out voting!
Hey! I'm not your minion, you're my minion!
Darnitall.
Let's be minions together! Besides, I'm Venita's minion anyway...
Gosh, i remember 13 years ago when I was 40!
Unfortunately, i don't remember too much more than that.
**looks down to see if he remembered to wear pants today**
Yes, i did! And i'm good to go!!
Go where, i don't remember. Rats. But i think it had something to do with taking some molasses cookies and Sam Adams to Ric The Schmuck.
I'd better get movin'.
See ya!
Dammit, man! Next time you forget your pants, post a pic! Beer, cookies, Jedi Knights, pouting, voting, minions, Sam Adams (is that redundant?) it's all good!
Geeze, go to work and miss the cookies and beer...
Thanks fer thinking of me, Dragonleg!
I am the one true Kat and dont any of you f'n forget it...lmao I have yet to read th article, I had a day from the bowels of hell and I supposedly am from there. *snicker* that's an insider for anyor anyone who goes and reads my latest rant..bwahahahahahaha. I shall read article and report back soon my master.
f'n bastards!!!! how dare they do that article without you!! i am appalled and I dont even live in orlando. bunch of f***tards!
Ah, but it is not the time for rage. It is time for pouting. And cookies. And beer. And Jedi knights....and beer.
See, Bill, this is what a good member of the Army of Solonor behaves like when her master is slighted. Teach you a thing or three...
Actually, I keep getting this feeling like I'm the wizard's apprentice, and I snuck into her lair and started playing with all her toys...summoning demons and such...and then her most potent evilness is gonna show up and....
I am so dead.
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