Merry Fellows By The Numbers

Split by Race, Team Names Captain

by Kurt Evans

Old Forest - Through a nation-wide press release, it was revealed today that Merry Fellows owner Tom Bombadil has made some changes with his ball club.

First announced was the number changes by the team. Although Bombadil claims that there is no dissention among the various races on the club, lines were formed today when announced that the players have changed their jersey numbers to signify race.

"The dwarfs numbers are all in the 90's by their request, while humans and elves wear a variety on their backs and chests," Bombadil sang. "Our Goblins' numbers are high and low as you will see, toward a unifying series of numbers they could not agree."

When asked about the dissention among their race, Kigush Eyeslobberer and Pikar GoblinthrottlerPikar, the team's only two goblins, explained why they could not agree on which numbers to wear.

"Why should I agree with an idiot whose name suggests he throttles fellow goblins," Eyeslobberer wrote - his throat being too swollen to speak.

"It ain't no big thing," GoblinthrottlerPikar responded, sporting a black eye. "He wanted one thing, I wanted another. We came to an understandin'. What we're really wonderin' is why we're the only two goblins on the squad - don't they like goblins in the Merry Forest, or whatever it is they call it?"

Team hitting coach George Drain laughed at the notion of racism being a factor in the players drafted.

"Of course not! In the game of baseball, it don't matter what you are as long as you can play the game. We have a variety of young gobbo prospects in the system, and I'm sure that as they develop you'll see them take their rightful place on this team."

In other Merry Fellows news, the team signed veteran second baseman Golluma Galándir to a major league contract yesterday. Galándir is far older than most of the players and was named Team Captain out of hopes that he can provide a leadership not seen among the youngsters.

"Well, I hope I'm merry enough for the job, if you get my drift," Galándir said. "What I do know is that I've beat around the basepaths all over middle earth. I've played in dark, dank corners, and in pleasant valleys, but I've never seen a place quite like Old Forest and I hope I'm here contributing for a long time. And I do hope I can help the younger guys along."

Also the squad made a variety of minor league moves, demoting and promoting more than a dozen players, including three new players to the major league roster. One surprising move was the refusal of the squad to promote A-ball coach Fred Hansen, widely toted as the most talented manager in the organization.

"We felt that he's best placed with the youngsters," Bombadil said. "Hopefully he'll turn them into great baseball players. As they develop we may promote him should we find reason, but for the time being we're just anticipating the start of the baseball season."

Posted at April 16, 2003 04:09 PM | more from Old Forest