Old Forest News and Notes
By Gormadoc Bracegirdle
Old Forest Gazette
Boriam the White?
Accusations flew in Old Forest this week after an unnamed opposition player stated his feelings that Boriam "Kid K" Celebrin was more than just a good pitcher. "He's a wizard," the player said. "He's got to be. I've never seen a curve disappear like that, and that heater can't be standard. I see him mutterin' to the ball sometimes before he makes a pitch, and when that happens, it's lights out for us."
Scandal is nothing new to the Merry Fellows. Last season the league imposed a singing ban on-field because of Tom Bombadil's merry croonings, and earlier this year mystery has arisen regarding Eldarion Aragornson's background. "A wizard?" Celebrin said. "Well I've been called yellow before, but never 'Boriam The Yellow!' Nah, I'm not a wizard. I just talk to the ball when I need a pitch. I say 'curve damn you curve,' and half the time it will."
Merry Fellows owner and manager Tom Bombadil laughed at the scandal, saying it was nothing but hot air from jealous players. "Of course he's good at outing the hitter, I'm just surprised no one's accused him of throwing the spitter!" Bombadil sang.
Merry Moves
The Merry Fellows entered the year with great expectations, but have yet to see any real improvement, starting the year 2-6. Bombadil has been busy between games, however, acquiring slugging shortstop Desmond Salvatore to be the new DH, as well as second baseman Imruthor Halomir and starting pitchers Gwiborn Gorom and Aragrin Anàr. Gorom may see a promotion to the majors within the next few weeks. He surprisngly went the duration of the off-season without recieving a single offer from any team, after having posted a 17-5 record with a 2.93 ERA in 2003. Anàr is another talented pitcher who went 14-5 with a 1.87 ERA at Triple A last season, striking out 269 in 178 innings. "Hopefully these new gents will help us along," Bombadil said. "By the end of the year I may be singing a very happy song."
Aragorson's mystery unravelled?
Earlier this week an unconfirmed source claimed that Eldarion Aragornson is, in fact, a young halfling who spent his youth in the Ent Forest, drinking Ent Draught until he became the strongest and tallest halfling in Middle Earth history. Aragornson denies the rumour as rampant speculation with no basis in fact. The $100,000 offer still stands until Aragornson's past comes unravelled.