Dagorlad Paranoid About Bats

By Ghazlakh the Abominable

Dagorlad (MEP) - An Elven cleric from Rhovanion has been hired by Dagorlad to look into possibly tampered bats. Zori Tirindur is scheduled to arrive in the next day to begin investigations into whether or not the team's bats have been cursed illegally. “Even the pine tar doesn’t stick,” said back-up catcher Shath Githrawn. “I mean, man, that’s gotta tell you something.”

Before boarding his giant eagle bound for the Dagorlad front offices, VVV explained the situation. "Cursed bats are as much a part of Middle-Earth baseball as Uruk-Hai Crunch and the Seventh Inning Rack Torture, but there are forms that must be filled out and approved by the league offices before a curse can even be considered, let alone incanted. I’ve been hired to investigate the matter and bring my findings to the league board."

"I’m pretty positive something’s wrong," said second baseman Doignar Axesnapper. "I bone a half-dozen bats before any road trip with a Balrog bone given to me by my uncle. This set of bats reject it. Once it flew right out of my hand and almost impaled Sereothor."

In agreement, reliever Shend Serothor nodded. "I’m tired of all this stuff happening to us. If these bats turn out be cursed, I don’t even want to think about what could be next."

Around the locker room, small invocations of protection have begun to crop up here and there. "I like the holy mead myself," said Nusil Ringtooth. "My average hasn’t changed much, but I feel better about it, though."

Posted at September 24, 2003 06:17 AM | more from Dagorlad