Elvenking Questions League's Balls

By Thorin Mithrilfist

MIRKWOOD - Manager Thranduil Elvenking held a short press conference today providing a Mauraders Team status report after the first four weeks of play. After his opening statement thanking everyone for attending, he threw out an accusation on the highest order. "I'm here to tell you that there is something very dark going on with the baseballs the league purchased this year. Last year at this time, there were only 19 total Home Runs hit out of Woodland Field. So, to help our excellent pitching staff out, we moved the walls way back and even raised them to keep the balls in the park. So far this year, 26 HR's have been hit in Woodland Field, and not a one of them was an inside-the-park job."

He went on to provide specific numbers:

Through 11 Home games...

*2003
2B - 25
3B - 4
HR - 19

*2004
2B - 40
3B - 7
HR - 26

"We expected to have more doubles and triples but we are totally baffled that the Homeruns have also increased," said Elvenking. He also indicated that the management would be forthcoming in filing an official request to the Commissioner for a thorough investigation. Elvenking went on to talk about the team, praising the pitching of Starting Pitchers, Franak Derroeater, Geadriel Gamialf, Hidush Elfbelly and the youngster Gwelf Goriborn. Derroeater, the veteran Marauder starter, has already pitched 2 complete games with one being a shutout, in only 5 outings. Gamialf, picked up this year off Free Agency has stepped up and has 4 quality starts in 6 outings, also with 2 complete games and a shutout to his name. Wiley Maurader veteren Elfbelly has gotten off to a good start with a 3-2 record, 2 quality starts and 1 complete game. The Rookie Goriborn has an amazing 3 quality starts in his first 3 games and has a 2-1 record with an ERA of 2.57.

The only weak spot so far is former Free Agent Ban Arwodur who finally got a win 2 days ago. "We expected a lot more from Ban," Elvenking was quoted as saying. "Our relievers are doing an average job with standouts being Niggek Giantslammer who's been in 5 games and has an ERA of 0.00, and our outstanding Closer Disin Axesmith has been excellent, posting 7 saves with an ERA of 0.84. Batting is better than last year but still needs work. The highlights are outfielders Celealob Celaum batting .351 and Gandolf Gameahir batting .321. Power hitter Hafur Goblincrusher is near the league leaders with 8 Homers and the Rookie upstart Shortstop Mohair Catsquisher has joined the squad and is contributing extensively."

Defensive phenom Catsquisher is batting .333. "The biggest challenge we face with Mohair is getting him to listen to the base coaches. He wants to steal every time he gets on base and is leading the team in both stolen bases and caught stealing categories." proudly boasted Elvenking.

Elvenking finished the press conference with this statement; "We hope the fans will see that we have turned ourselves around and will make a run for the penant this year."

Posted at September 29, 2003 10:19 AM | more from Mirkwood