Miners Fire Hitting Coach

By Grór Bloodyarm
Moria Free Press

MORIA - Early today team management met with William Herren with what appears to be a pink slip. With the Miners coming off a five game losing streak, dropping to the bottom of the division, Miners management felt it was time to make a move. "Nobody knows who is in control of this team," said Herren. "I thought we were making great progress. All I know is that it is not my problem anymore." When asked about his future plans, the 12-year hitting coach responded with, "Margaritas and palm trees… margaritas and palm trees." A replacement for Herren has yet to be announced.

In other news, Lumtina Elvawen has been busy off the field. It is reported that the star centerfielder has signed an endorsment contract with the new VISA Mithril Card. The deal is worth 20 million for five years. Expect to see advertisements around the Moria area, including at Balin Field. There is also a television spot that will premiere on May 6 featuring Elvawen with rap star 50 Cent.

Posted at October 1, 2003 10:14 PM | more from Moria