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Elvenking Fires Up Marauders

Mirkwood
By Thorin Mithrilfist

MIRKWOOD - Manager Thranduil Elvenking has done a good job coaching the Marauders to their present position of 2nd place, only 7 games back in the Elf division. He has moved pitchers around, made relievers out of starters, shaken up the batting order by showing the star players they weren't immune from being moved down in the line-up for poor performance and even sat out players. But now he has come up against it. Elvenking has issued a proclamation to his team in an attempt to fire them up for the run to the Division Championship. "Everyone WILL give their ALL in every game from this point forward," he said. "Slackers will not be tolerated. If you can't perform you will be eliminated from the team on the spot. If we happen to be the visiting team, good luck in finding your way home."

With that said Elvenking immediately pointed a finger at starting pitcher and superstar hopeful Ban Arwodur and said, "You can't cut it as a starter! I'm throwing you into the bullpen to get your head on straight. If you can't help the team as a reliever I'll bust you all the way down to Single-A if I have to."

Then he singled out the Isiawyn "Eyes" Imrialob and said, "The Mirkwood Management thinks you may have something since the just extended your contract. You are now in the starting rotation. Do well or you'll find yourself playing for the Greenwood Greats also."

Then he turned his attention from the pitchers to the batters. Looking each player in the eyes he circled the room and said, "You people aren't helping these pitchers out enough. WE NEED RUN PRODUCTION!! We have the 3rd best batting average in the league and we have a dismal 62-62 record. How are we so good at getting hits yet so poor in run production? Get on base and make things happen. If a runner is in scoring position - HIT HIM IN!!!"

Finally in his most controversial statement of the night, Elvenking walked over to stand directly in front of veteran Shortstop Bugar "Loogy" Axeslammer, and said, "Since we brought up Catsquisher you have been slacking. You have 1 week to bring your batting average above .200, or you are gone, contract or no contract!"

Needless to say everyone will be watching the progress of the Marauders this week.

Posted at November 25, 2003 10:53 PM | more from Mirkwood