Orcmaker Makes It Big

By Gormadoc Bracegirdle
Old Forest Gazette

ISENGARD - After a long career of struggles, reliever Meli Orcmaker, 33, has finally found prosperity, inking a 3 year 36 million dollar deal with Isengard. "I'm just... I'm just overjoyed," Orcmaker said, fighting back tears at the press conference. "So many years of struggle, and now to be recognized!" It had been a long journey for the reliever. Born with a golden arm, Orcmaker spent his childhood playing pickup games with friends and neighbors. However, being the middle child in a family of 600, he never had the opportunity for school where he could have showcased his talents. "Being an orc is tough," Orcmaker said. "I didn't get any opportunities. I had to earn them."

He began his long and distinguished career at the age of 16 in the Misty Mountain Association (MMA), a low-level independant league in the shadows of The Misty Mountains - then a haven for orcs such as himslf. While one of the youngest players in the league, Orcmaker immediately made an impression. "I remember him," said former MMA player Timbur Dwarfslayer, 47. "He was a scrawny little punk back then, malnourished like many of us. But he had one hell of a breaking pitch."

In his rookie season Orcmaker was a starter, pitching in 22 games. He went 17-2 with a 1.77 ERA and struck out 203 batters. Orcmaker didn't stay in the MMA for long - his talent was so great that teams from the nearby Dwarven Baseball Affiliation League (DBAL) began scouting, which at the time was unheard of. "I thought I'd really made it big when they offered to pay me $20,000 a year just to play baseball," Orcmaker said.

By the time he was 19 years old, he'd taken the responsibility of dozens of his younger brothers while pitching in the DBAL. But it wasn't long before Orcmaker's first tragedy struck - a potentially career-ending arm injury in the middle of his second season with the Deep-Cave Dwellers. He'd started 17 games that year, going a phenominal 15-0 with an ERA of 1.35. "We'd been cruising in first place behind his golden arm," said Thror Axemaker, the manager of the Dwellers. "At that point we were something like 49-23. We truly loved him even if he was a damned orc! We'd nicknamed him 'Dwarfriend'. After we lost him we completely collapsed - I believe we finished that season with a 74-68 record. It was a terrible loss."

The team called Elven healers in to evaluate and possibly even cure Orcmaker's arm injury, but were given bad news from the outset. Orcmaker had suffered a complete rotator cuff tear, rendering his arm useless. Because of Orcmaker's nature, many common Elven healing techniques would not work and might have even killed him if attempted. However after three months without seeing any sort of improvement, Orcmaker decided to take the risk - the legendary Elven healer Oragolas performed the session. The healing session was a partial success - Orcmaker regained the use of his arm but had to rebuild his strength. Also Oragolas told the team that Orcmaker might never be able to start again. Disappointed, the team decided to cut their losses and released Orcmaker. He spent the next five years wandering from fringe league to fringe league, always on the verge of starvation. "That was when I got depressed," Orcmaker said. "I knew I could still pitch, I just had to find someone who'd really give me a chance. But no one would, and I almost died because I couldn't earn a living."

Then at the age of 26 Orcmaker began back where he started - Misty Mountain. He was discovered again, this time by the team Mudhole Muckmakers, then owned and managed by goblin Kigush Eyeslobberer, now a veteran in the SGCBL. "I remembered him from years before," Eyeslobberer said. "He was two years younger than me but he'd been a success in the league back before they'd even give me a second look. So I thought what the hell, and I gave him a shot."

In the league where Orcmaker had once been a star, commanding as much as $12,000 a season, he signed a one year deal with Eyeslobberer paying him $1,250. Orcmaker then found his niche - the bullpen. In his first season with the Muckmakers, Orcmaker appeared in 78 games, and had 29 saves in as many opportunities. He went 4-0 with a 1.45 ERA. Finally, Orcmaker had found a home. Over the next three seasons Orcmaker appeared in 320 games, saving 129 games with only 4 blown chances. He also spot started 12 games, going 8-2 in those appearances. His ERA during this period was a legendary 1.78 and Eyeslobberer tributes Orcmaker's rejuvinated arm to their two consecutive MMA Championship victories. At the start of his third season with the team, Orcmaker was again earning $14,000 a year. Then, again, the wheels came off.

"I'd just saved game six against the Darkhill Wanderers," Orcmaker said. "We were one game away from our third straight title. Then I got word - a group of Rohan riders came across 274 of my brothers and massacred them. I left immediately to be with the family. They lost game 7 and then I decided it was time to take a break from baseball."

At age 29, Orcmaker quit the game for good to help attend to family needs. Orcmaker won't go into detail of that period of his life, although Rohan records show a series of orc skirmishes in the two years he was away from the game - including one that resulted in the death of 78 riders.

Then, in early December of 2002, Middle Earth baseball consolidated. Behind the diplomacy of Commissioner Solonor Rasreth and the hard work of 24 legendary owners, the Tolkien Baseball League formed, ready to begin operations by 2003. "I'd heard of the new league," Orcmaker said, "but I didn't have any interest in it. Anyway it was supposed to be a league of orcs, dwarfs, elves, hobbits, and men. Let's just say I didn't think it'd last."

He may not have been interested in the league, but the league was interested in him. He was selected by Palantir in the 31st round of the draft as the 729th pick. He was asked to report to the Spring Training facilities by February 14th. Orcmaker wasn't going to go, but then he found out how much a player made at the major league level. "Let's say my interests changed again," Orcmaker said.

Considered a longshot at best, Orcmaker pitched well in Spring Training but because of his age and injury history, failed to make the team. Palantir instead demoted him to AAA where he happily settled on a $40,000 salary. He earned every penny, pitching in 37 innings, going 4-1 with a 2.19 ERA and 4 saves. "It was a different level of competition," Orcmaker said. "Guys who were stars in the old leagues sometimes couldn't even crack a major league roster, and even some of the legendary guys were barely succeeding as starters."

Success was not a problem for Orcmaker, however, as he was promoted before the start of the 2004 season. Paladir had changed its location to Rohan, which did not prove to be a problem for the pitcher. "I made peace with them. It's a new age," Orcmaker said. In his rookie year at the age of 33, Orcmaker threw in 99 games for 102 innings pitched. He went 8-5 with a 4.41 ERA and striking out 91. "I thought I was rich making the league minimum. I sent almost all of it back to the family - finally my brothers are being fed well, I thought! Then, I guess Isengard saw something good in me - even better than my rookie record," he said. "Because when I got a call from their general manager, their offer was so generous I thought it was a prank."

But it wasn't. New Isengard owner Jeff Norton made a record-breaking offer to Orcmaker: $12,000,000 a year for 3 years. With only one season under his wings, Meli Orcmaker has become one of the richest players in the game today. "I don't know what they're expecting out of me, but I'll throw in every game if they ask. I'll start, I'll close, I'll pitch whenever they ask. These guys aren't just paying for me to feed my family; they're paying for me to feed every Orc back in the Misty Mountains!"

Days after signing his new contract, Orcmaker announced that following every season he would be giving $11,000,000 to malnourished and needy orcs who live in the Misty Mountains. The orcs are reportedly very pleased and may in fact proclaim Orcmaker a king after his playing days are over. "I just want to help," Orcmaker said. "I've worked hard to get to where I'm at." Anyone who has seen Orcmaker pitch or followed his career would not disagree.

Posted at January 14, 2004 07:14 AM | more from Old Forest