Dagorlad demands inquiry, Stars Owner Felled by Illness
DAGORLAD - Dagorlad upper management has brought in the famed trial lawyer, Argus NoseDweller, to investigate a series of odd events that have plagued the franchise the last month. "It started with mysterious injuries at the end of the season last year when we were in the thick of the race," said assistant general manager Thrulk Imraideil. "Everyone thought it merely bad luck." But it soon got worse. In the offseason, a false rejuvenation potion was found in the training room by team physician Bulko Balco. "We weren't sure who all had used it, but we pretty well know now. A couple of players felt a lot better than they really were. Unfortunately, the potion was masked and we couldn't dectect it in our annual potion analysis."
During pre-season, things got worse. "We were locked out of offices," said Imraideil. "A heavy duty hex kept us from submitting some very important paperwork to the home office. By the time we were able to break the hex, the deadline's were past and the paperwork was useless. It really hurt us because we had some plans for our staff."
"Damn right, I'm upset," said Pruudush Hobbitgobbler. "I had been on the list for amping up of my stuff, but the hex cost me. My fastball must be at least 5 miles slower."
The first three weeks of the season, the crises continued. Manager Jeff Limke was felled by some corruption. "I went into my office to put together the opening day lineup and when I came up, it was three weeks later and we were three games down." A time displacement spell is suspected.
Even the team mascot has been affected. Dizzy, the team mascot, was demasked during the first week of play. Only one problem, he wasn't wearing a costume. The decapitation halted play for five minutes as the mess was consumed by eager orc fans. Dizzy has been replaced by his brother Dizze.
Imraideil said, "At first we suspected Bree because, well, everyone suspects Bree. But it turned out they weren't the ones. They were struggling themselves. We have some ideas of whom we believe it to be, but we'll get them on the field. It's going to be an aggressive season, I can tell you that much."
Dagorlad GM Ulakdrj the Grim has presented his formal complaint to the league office. The league office declined comment other than to say they were taking the charges seriously and were looking into the matter.
Stars Owner Launches Own Investigation
GREY HAVENS - Stars owner, Arwen, said today, "From Dagorlad I read about the plague of curses then, having spent sometime talking to my injured players, I found evidence of zeal wanting to play in the big league too great a temptation. My players want this year to be the best yet and are willing to do almost anything to get it. My minor leagues know the weaknesses and wanted to fill in and come to the big time as soon as they could even if it was to try and get ahead of time. But the injuries..."
Geronimo Peralez Day-to-Day (80%) 4 days 0 days Sore Back
Dinendal Meneldur OUT 2-3 weeks 0 days Ruptured Tricep Tendon
Benjamin Salazar OUT full season 1 days Torn Rotator Cuff Muscle
William Ostby OUT 5 weeks 0 days Fractured Knee
Arwen owner of the Grey Haven Stars has come down with a mysterious illness. Plagued by injuries in the team, the owner set out to uncover the strange happenings by visiting offices in the Mordor Conference. After picking up a small strange golden bottle that no one was willing to account for, she was compelled to open the bottle and smell it, and fell into a heap on the floor. She was heard to say: "I didn't know.... I couldn't help it.... what happened? My poor team!"
The Elven healers of Rivendell have stated that it was an extremely potent golden elixir which exudes a spell to make anyone that touches the bottle open it and smell it, causing an immediate state of unconciousness and injury. The antidote for this elixir can't be bought with gold or any means of wealth. It requires an adventure to get it. So, the owner must go after this antidote herself... and the cure will occur spontaniously upon gazing at the mist of elixir... which can only be found in the Misty Mountains, somewhere in Gollum's cave.
Where this mysterious bottle came from is under full investigation. There is high speculation. It wasn't easy to obtain, say the Healers. Someone has plans of winning at all costs. "Could the Shire Conference be that desperate? Is Mordor such a threat? Who is next on the list attacks," Arwen asked, as she was leaving for the Misty Mountains... "Watch out for the tricksy and false.... full of enemies it seems this year." Arwen said to her players as she walked down the path .... and don't go near any misty bottles .... don't pick anything up either, don't drink anything not your own....Be careful where you sleep, hobbits watch the food you eat.....I'll be back as soon as possible....." Her final words were a mere whisper as she left.
Posted at June 10, 2004 01:11 AM | more from Dagorlad