Commissioner Incites Fan Frenzy: Slob or Saint?

By Lobelia Hardbottle, MESN

MIDDLE EARTH - As Commissioner for a baseball league of five distinctly different races and Halflings in between, Solonor Rasreth has his work cut out for him. "Sometimes I feel like an underpaid baby sitter in a house of 3000 kids," joked Rasreth. It hasn't been easy steering Middle Earth's SGCBL from a fledging organization into a teeming, bustling league, but Rasreth has done it.

Rasreth discovered baseball while on a trip to the southern lands 40 years ago. "I saw some incredible teams there. I decided to bring baseball back to Rivendell and the surrounding area. It took a long time for it to catch on, however."

It took nearly 30 years for Solonor's Groovy Computer Baseball League, or SGCBL, to come together. Commissioner Rasreth has been with the league from the beginning. "As you can tell by its full name, I helped form the league," said Rasreth. In the earliest days of the league, Commissioner Rasreth also performed duties as team owner of the Isengard Raiders. "We finished first in the Troll Division in 2003 and made the playoffs," Rasreth said with pride. "However, the duties of the Commissioner's Office, not to mention the potential conflict of interest, forced me to give up the team."

Rasreth was asked whether he enjoys his position as Commissioner. "I certainly do," he said. "In my lengthy career as an adventurer and businessman, few things have given me as much pleasure as my affiliation with this league." Why, then, are so many fans calling for Rasreth to step down?

Public outcry against Rasreth followed a recent blunder in tabulating the votes for 2006 MVP. Legeron Iseomer of Rohan was announced as this year's MVP, though a closer inspection of the ballots showed Grukak Dwarfcrawler of Grey Havens as the winner. "It was a stupid clerical error. Somehow, it got past our review process," said Rasreth.

Fans, and players, were outraged. Few could forget the scandal of the 2003 season, when the Commissioner failed to notice certain Shire Conference umpires were not enforcing the Designated Hitter rule, and now, with the MVP scandal fresh in their minds, fans took their anger to the streets. An immediate call for the Commissioner's replacement was heard throughout Middle Earth, as Rasreth struggled to set things right. "Obviously, Legeron was quite upset. I talked with him for quite some time," said Rasreth. Meanwhile, the company hired to do the vote tabulation, Rice-Porterhouse, was sacked. "We are launching an investigation into their practices to see if this is some sort of pattern that we missed when we signed on with them," said Rasreth. "We are looking at our procedures to make sure that these kinds of things don't happen again."

A recent public opinion poll shows an even 50/50 split between those ready to burn Rasreth at the stake, and those ready to canonize him as a saint. "We have to give credit where it is due," said a fan, Borowin Elegil. "The man brought baseball to Middle Earth. He built an alliance between men, elves, and all free folk that at times only exists on the playing field. To have crafted a truce between fierce enemies, such as orcs, and men, in the name of something good, is no small accomplishment."

Perebo "the Small" Proudfoot feels differently. "It just ain't right to be sitting in such a lofty position as he is and not have your head on straight," said Proudfoot. "This league needs a strong leader to survive, and someone with his brains in the right place, at that."

When asked about the recent public opinion poll showing a 50/50 split for and against him, Rasreth stood his ground. "I have no plans to retire," said Rasreth. The Commissioner spoke of the work he is doing to strengthen the league. "My top priority right now is in recruiting team owners who care about the game and who are willing to put in the effort to make it a fun activity. Not everyone is cut out to turn a group of hobbits, elves, dwarves, orcs and men into a smoothly functioning team."

Solonor Rasreth continues to smooth tensions between races. "We've tried to be as accommodating as possible to the needs of our various player races. It is a difficult problem, that's for sure. Not only do we have physical challenges with things like height differences and diet, but there is still a lot of deep xenophobic mistrust out there. Frankly, I don't think that will ever go away. In some ways, it is even a part of the league's attraction. We just try to make sure that as few paying customers get hurt as possible. That's why this season will again be enforcing a 'no weapons in the clubhouse' policy, and there will be safety fencing around the stands to prevent objects being thrown onto the field and vice versa."

Though Rasreth works nearly round-the-clock for the league, he does find time for himself occasionally. "I do the same sorts of things all retired half-elven adventurers do," said Rasreth. "I read a lot. I'm always trying to perfect my spellcraft. I try to keep in practice with the bow, too. Mostly, I spend time with friends at the local tavern, discussing the matters of the day over a nice drink. This allows me to keep in touch with the people I so humbly serve."

Despite recent controversy, Rasreth has remained positive. "I take things one day at a time," he said. "In my 135 years, I've learned that there's no reason to worry about tomorrow. It's going to come whether you're ready for it or not. Just make sure you've set yourself up to be able to handle whatever life throws at you."

Posted at October 8, 2004 12:58 PM | more from League News