Bounders Ban Dairy

By Merimas Tussock

BYWATER - Following recent events, the Bywater Bounders have taken some rather unusual action. They've banned all dairy products from Green Hill Field. While some teams have been monitoring their players' diets, the Bounders felt the risk associated with dairy was such that even the fans shouldn't have any around the team. There are concerns that this will affect the team's revenue, especially with the ever popular Cheeseburger-and-Milkshake combo being completely removed from the menu. However, representatives for the team say the move was necessary. "We're sure the fans will support us in this move; we must do all we can to ensure the team's health throughout the season."

Some fans, however, were outraged. Leading the protests was Billieb Ob Wheathoot, who said, "This is stoopid; cheese never hurt anyone. I were drinking milk when I was just a baby, and I didn't die did I? I'm gonna send that there Kevin a whole dairy crate, and I hope it kills him. Erm, not that dairy does kill, so they should bring it back."

Posted at October 20, 2004 09:50 AM | more from Bywater