The Mithril Post
from The Mithril Post
headline news and notes from Moria
SPORTS
Miners Win 5
After a dismal opening week, the Moria Miners have bounced back to win an unexpected 5 out of 7. Team leaders, players, and fans couldn't be more excited. "This may be our year," said starting pitcher, Farin Beardsnapper, who helped lead the team to victory against Old Forest. "With BranMorda out of the way, I think we can all just relax and play ball. Things were just too tense, for a while." Beardsnapper really showed his Stuff on the field with a 4-hit shutout. Said Beardsnapper, "We've all been working really hard--maybe a little too hard--but all the effort is beginning to pay off."
Though Moria is currently without a manager, team owner Brandelion of Lethargy has temporarily filled the position. "I am pleasantly surprised at the level of teamwork and skill my players have exhibited this week," said Brandelion. "I expect to see more of it in the future. This team possesses vastly untapped potential."
Long-time fan Oore Slatesmith sees this as the signal of the end of dark times in Moria. "We've been true to the team so long, so long...waiting for the glory of Moria to be restored. By the grace of our fathers, it is happening."
Moria Scrambles to Find New Management
Miners PR manager Heodwyn of the Soft Voice announced an opening for a new team manager. In a written request, distributed throughout Middle Earth, Heodwyn asks for one with 'prior managerial experience; must have excellent team leadership abilities and, for safety reasons, can not be lactose intolerant.' All interested parties need apply in person.
NEWS
Bridge of Khazad-dum Set To Be Rebuilt
What may seem foolhardy to some, is an heroic feat to others. A team of archeologists, architects, and general construction workers, comprised mostly of home-town Moria dwarves, began clearing wreckage to make way for the rebuilding of the Bridge of Khazad-dum, this week. Spectators have had mixed feelings. "While I can see the sense in rebuilding Moria, I don't see how we can justify this when the entrance to the mines is still littered with rotting goblin carcasses," said Moria resident, Noignar Fengus's Son.
OBITUARIES
Neanivar Orchammerer, loving wife and mother, has left this world. Survived by husband, Risil, and son, Kobur. She will be remembered for her distinguishing beard; the longest in all of Moria. Interment at the Thorin Oaks Cemetary at 1:00p.m.
BranMorda passed away in the quiet of Balin's Tomb. She will be missed by few.
CLASSIFIEDS
Quote:
Mathoms Sale--at the home of Camellia Brandybuck, Buckland. 24 Winterfilth, 8a.m. to elevensies
Quote:
Fisil Zirak--I know you took my Arkenstone, you bloody theif. Now the rest of Moria knows, too. Wallow in your shame.
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