Miners Look to Name Changes to Improve Luck
from The Mithril Post
headline news and notes from Moria
Wizard Changes Names: Will It Change Luck?
MORIA - A special naming ceremony was held for the Moria Miners last week at Khazad-dum Stadium. Several players on the active major league roster volunteered to be given a new 'Tolkien' name, swapping the races and names of another dimension for those of Middle Earth. Heodvild of the Soft Voice, a spokesperson for the team, said the new names are intended to change the luck of Moria. "Luck is such a fickle thing. It is always hanging in the balance. As a team, we wanted to do all we could to change our luck for the better, and we believe that by changing the players names to those from Middle Earth, we'll be doing just that," said Heodvild. "It's as the old saying goes, 'When in Moria, act as the Miners do.' It makes sense."
The Miners hired the wizard Olorin the Wise to magically transform the players. "Olorin was incredible," said Heodvild. "With one wave of his staff, a player suddenly changed from an ordinary guy into an Elf, a Dwarf, even Rohirrim. It was definitely a sight to see." Known for his reclusiveness, Olorin the Wise declined comment, but told team owner Brandelion of Lethargy that he very much enjoyed the work, and was happy to see Moria a better place. Rainbows reportedly shot from his fingertips as the ceremony came to a close, to the awe and delight of spectators.
Among the players given new names was top prospect Moran Alcarin, formerly known as Edmundo Avila. Alcarin seemed delighted with his new name. "I had always felt like I didn't belong," said Alcarin. "The strange name, the funny accent--but after the ceremony, I feel like a new man. The level of comradeship on the team has soared to new heights since we all got our new names. I am proud to say, now, that I hail from Gondor. And my teammates love it, too."
Lonar of Moria, formerly Don Guglielmo, is certain team leaders have made the right decision. Lonar boasted confidently in typically Dwarven fashion, "There is no doubt in my mind that these names will change the tides for Moria. If we play well, which we will, this added armor of good luck will lead us to the play-offs."
Heodvild Soft Voice announced that with the success of the major league ceremony, similar ceremonies will be held for each of the Miners's minor league teams in the near future.
Free Gold Day at Khazad-dum!
A spokeshobbit for the Miners announced that the first of this seasons promotion days has been confirmed--Free Gold Day will be 20 Astron (S.R.) at Khazad-dum Stadium, sponsored by The Miming Miners Association of Moria. Said spokeshobbit Morning Glory Boffins, "Free gold will be distributed to lucky fans; don't worry, though! There will be no miming." Please join the Miners for this exciting event.
NEWS
Mayoral Race Tainted With Taunting
In one of the most polarized election years in the history of Moria, Mayor incumbent Dwalin, and Mayoral candidate Balin, have forsaken the issues and jumped right to taunting. The taunting, which included classic jibes such as "your mother was a hairless tart", and other unprintable subjects, began when Balin refused to bow to Dwalin at the beginning of a debate. Dwalin took offense to this breech of Dwarven courtesy, and let forth a stream of obscenities that still hovers above the Pass of Carapace. Confused analysts are scrambling to make sense of what this means. No official comment has come from either side of the race in light of this recent development.
CLASSIFIEDS
Quote:
Attn Samsneed- I need ta talk ta ya real urgent-like. Meet me at da las' place we talked. Same time, in two days from dis ad. Youse gotta be dere. I have Vital Infomation. Must talk before dey gets to me. DH.
P.S.- Bring my fingers wit' ya. I'd be mos' appreciative.
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