Roster Changes for Miners
from The Mithril Post
headline news and notes from Moria
SPORTS
Roster Changes Give Players A Chance
Recent changes on the Miners roster have made room for triple-A talent, this week. Reliever Camellia "Darling" Baggins was one of the first players to be given a shot at the big leagues, followed by Francisco Xiques, a talented young pitcher, and Sim Hornblower, who will be playing second base for the Moria Miners. Team owner Brandelion of Lethargy, who has always been fond of Baggins in particular, could not be more thrilled. "I call her my 'darling' because I have waited and watched her progress since I picked her in the 2004 Draft for my then-team, the Bucklebury Fairies," said Bran. "Despite some criticism over my decision to draft her, I knew she had promise. Years later, I am absolutely delighted to have her playing for the Miners. I knew this day would come." Baggins was traded from Bucklebury to Moria in 2006, an event that had bearing on Bran's decision to buy the team. "When I reviewed the rosters for the teams available, I saw Camellia's name on Moria's list. That was it. That was the clincher. I saw unlimited potential amongst all the players of Moria, and I believe in all the players--but when I saw Camellia there, I knew I couldn't go wrong. I contacted the Commissioner and made an offer on the spot."
Camellia Baggins is equally pleased to be on the Miners roster. "I'm a little nervous, I thinks. I'm out to prove my arm and contribute to the team, and I just can't waits to meet my new team mates. Theys all seems like a nice group of folks."
Francisco Xiques, an up-and-coming talent in the league, also expressed good feelings over his recent promotion. "I've got the Stuff," he said. "It's about time I had the chance to do something with it."
Moria's new second baseman, Sim Hornblower, was unavailable for direct comment, though other members of the team said he "smiled a smile as wide as the cracks of Mount Doom" upon hearing the news. All new additions to the roster are expected to play in this weeks games.
Free Gold Day Changed to Free Orc Helmet Day
In an article ran in the last edition of The Mithril Post, a spokeshobbit for the Miners announced 20 Astron as 'Free Gold Day' at Khazad-dum. However, a clerical error was made on the league promotion day forms; this month's promotion at Khazad-dum Stadium will be 'Free Orc Helmt Day'. An official apology was released by PR manager Heodwyn Soft Voice: "Though we won't be giving away free gold this month due to a clerical error, the Moria Miners will continue to delight fans with a Free Orc Helmet Day, 20 Astron (S.R.) The Miners sincerely apologize for the mix-up, and invite fans to come along for the fun. Please share this special day with us."
Mistake In Mithril Post, vol 2
The Editors of the Mithril Post would like to formally apologize to Ms. Heodwyn of the Soft Voice, PR manager for the Moria Miners. In a recent edition of The Post, Heodwyn's name was misspelled as 'Heodvild'. We thank Ms. Soft Voice for her understanding.
NEWS
Restoration of Bridge Topples; Kills 4
The controversial rebuilding of the Bridge of Khazad-dum came to a halt after two slabs of rock toppled and crushed bystanders, killing two protestors, and two bridge construction workers. Protestors and supporters alike rushed to uncover the trapped victims, but it was too late. "They were dead," wept Fisil Zirak, head of the Coalition For a Better Moria, the group responsible for the bridge restoration. "Two of our best stone workers, gone, and the bridge in ruins. What are we to do, now?"
A spokesdwarf for the group protesting the bridge restoration had a quick reply for Zirak. "Pack it up and go home," said Grim Thrushknocker. "The whole thing reeked before the bridge crashed, and now the stench only grows stronger. Two citizens--two ordinary, everyday citizens were killed by that taxpayer-money-eating monstrosity, when all they wanted to do was take a stand against the squandering of our precious resources. I say, pack it up, and go home. We don't need this kind of [expletive] in Moria."
Witnesses of the event report a 'rumbling' sound just before the slabs came down. While experts are uncertain about what brought the slabs down, the noise is unsettling. "The noise is unsettling," said Constable Pat Lackey. "We're investigatin' all possibilities, but we don't want to rule nothin' out at this time by naming this or that."
A full investigation has been launched into the cause of the collapse, and is expected to be released next week.
OBITUARIES
Gormath "Spit" Polish has moved into other realms. May his hands forever work the stones in the halls of his fathers. Interment at the Thorin Oaks Cemetary, 11:00 a.m., 19 Astron.
Krag Ringrender left us for the halls of his fathers, today. He will be joined in passing by his wife, Nin Ringrender. Apparently, the Bridge decided it was their time to go. Interment at the Thorin Oaks Cemetary at 9:00 a.m., 18 Astron.
The world mourns the loss of stonesmith Gloignar Stoneshaper today. His ashes will be placed at the foot of Lonely Mountain.
CLASSIFIEDS
Quality reproduction 'Lamps of the Valar' available. Many in stock, but going fast! Contact Gordo "Slim" Underhill, Bree