Imrilron earns new nickname

by Kandabur Mauerer

OLD FOREST - Merry Fellows team captain and star left fielder, Isilborn Imrilron, has been given a new nickname after anihilating the Bree Cheese in a recent series in Old Forest. The Merry Fellows went 3-1 in the four game set, thanks in part to Imrilion, who went 6 for 15 (.400 avg) with 2 homeruns and 5 RBI. Imrilion is used to having big weeks, and this past one was no exception. He batted .458 with 2 homeruns and 6 RBI, and some feel he was snubbed for Player of the Week honors. Imrilion's former nickname was "Captain," but now he will be known as "Cheese Crusher." Imrilion was candid when asked how he feels about the new nickname. "Who cares?" he said. "It's just a nickname. Hopefully by the end of the year, they'll call me 'Mirkwood Master' or something, because they are the real threat."

One journalist pointed out to Imrilion that due to the recent string of killings by the Bree Cheese Strangler, he may be targeted for his good play against the team. At that point, Imrilion appeared nervous and hastily ended the interview.

"I uh, I'm uh, not worried about that... I uh, have to go."

Rumor out of the Old Forest camp suggests that Imrilion may use part of his hefty 20 million-a-year salary to hire extra protection for the duration of his new nickname.

Legithraviel Responds to Nickname Bandits
Fans during the 2006 campaign remember Tavus Legithraviel for his stretches of dominant play. During the course of the year, the ace pitcher went 18-11 while striking out 204 in 234.2 innings pitched. Fans had nicknamed him "The Reason," and expectations were high for a playoff appearance. Then, the Merry Fellows clinched the Wild Card and were soon knocked out by Mirkwood in only five games, and it seemed as though "The Reason" had more than one meaning, as Legithraviel's poor performance was directly the reason for the Merry Fellows defeat. In two games started, Legithraviel went 0-2 with a 17.47 ERA in only 5.2 innings thrown. "I just didn't have it," Legithraviel said after the second crushing defeat. "I'm sorry. I choked." The nickname stuck, and soon thereafter members of the Old Forest fanatical were calling him "Choker." Five starts into the '07 campaign, Legithraviel no longer appreciates the nickname. "Ok, so I screwed up. Mirkwood was my daddy. But I pitched well against them this year, and I think I should be given a different nickname. It's annoying!"

Legithraviel is so frustrated by the boos and cat-calls that have greeted him this season that he has considered demanding a trade. "I want to play here my whole career, but can't they just lay off for a while? I'm 3-1! I have a good ERA! Seriously, what do I have to do?"

This journalist would suggest that a solution is simple. Next time, don't choke.

Posted at October 27, 2004 06:53 AM | more from Old Forest