« Mirkwood to re-forest the East Bight | Main | "Dryadhenge" Erected in Minas Morgul »

Cheese Factory Nearing Completion

Bree
By Azzog the Thug

BREE - From a press release by Butterburr Industries. Cheese-lovers await with eager anticipation for the Grand Opening of the new Butterburr Cheese Factory. Work continues day and night as the contractors strive to finish by the May 18th grand opening. Middle Earth has never seen the likes before- Vast lines of giant shiny machines, designed to take in the raw dairy materials and efficiently spew forth wonderful, delicious cheeses of every variety. The work continues incessantly. Brand-new automated dairy processing machinery arrives at the plant daily. After unpacking and an examination, it is installed on the huge factory floor, but only after a great deal of measuring, alignment, and spell-casting. Then test runs are performed to ensure the quality of the product and efficiency of the machines.

Workers have also begun the placement of the planned enormous "CHEESE" sign on the roof of the plant. When finished, this sign will be a landmark in northern Middle Earth as it is designed to glow brightly across the land and be seen for many, many furlongs around, providing for the safe navigation of travelers. The power of this lighting display is due to the use of the new LED technology: LED (Light Emitted by Devilry) lights can be seen for far further distances than the traditional FLAME (Flammable Luminosity And Murky Environs) lights. LEDs also produce less smoke. Although the sign currently reads only "CH", it is already obvious that it will be the largest and most powerful beacon since Sauron's Eye.

Observers with a keen eye will note that offices are being built on the roof of the plant underneath the CHEESE sign. These offices will house the headquarters of Butterburr Industries and its various subsidiaries, including Butterburr Dairy Products Ltd., Prancing Pony Inns Ltd., Barl's Beer Ltd., Rent-A-Halfling Ltd., Orcs-R-Us Ltd, Oliphaunt Moving and Storage Ltd., Dwarf Heavy Construction Ltd., Uruk-Hai Unlimited Ltd., The Butterburr Bazouki Band, and The Bree Cheese Baseball Club.

Posted at November 1, 2004 01:23 PM | more from Bree