Miner Manager to Join Nazgul

from The Mithril Post
headline news and notes from Moria

SPORTS

BranMorda To Join Nine
The recently declared-alive BranMorda will not be resuming her place at the helm of the Moria Miners this season, though it was expected she would. Instead, the formidable ice maven plans to move to Mordor where she will join forces with the Nazgul. "I deeply sympathize with the principles [the Nine] stand for," BranMorda told reporters.

PR Manager for the Miners, Heodwyn Soft Voice, offered further comment. "It has been decided that BranMorda will join as the 'Dartagnion type', which will allow the Nine to keep their famous moniker, while still taking on a new asset to their….organization. We at Moria are sad to see her leave us, but we also triumph in her happiness. It is good to see BranMorda find her place in our world. In fact, she almost managed something resembling a smile when she heard the news; her attempt at facial expression was just shy of heart-warming…if not sinister and twisted in a very real and frightening way. She looked like a corpse re-animated."

Brandelion of Lethargy, close friend and confidant of BranMorda, was unavailable for comment, though sources say she has not stopped crying for days and refuses to come out of her rooms. Sources within the Miners organization assume Bran’s tears are related to BranMorda’s decision to leave Moria.

NEWS

Bridge Collapses After Rock Concert
With heavy hearts, representatives of The Coalition For a Better Moria announce that construction on the Bridge of Khazad-dum reconstruction project will come to a close, after above-ground soundwaves caused the Bridge to topple, once again. Ironically, the Bridge is reported to have collapsed during the performance of "Trewsday, Bloody Trewsday," a song written by dwarf rock group The Stonebeards about the 20 Astron Miners game that lead to the rioting and crowd violence that caused the sound waves that brought the Bridge construction project down, killing four. Though none were hurt in this second Bridge disaster, The Coalition is calling it quits. "We just can't go on like this," said Fisil Zirak. "It's just so…depressing, to see the Bridge go up, and then come right back down again."

The Stonebeards offered a full apology to The Coalition, promising to 'set things right, again.' Lead singer Mono is expected to award Coalition leader Fisil Zirak with a check at a ceremony next week, which will be the sum total of proceeds from the benefit concert Bridge Aid. Mono hopes the money will be enough to help Zirak go for a third try. "The Bridge is important to us as a race," said Mono. "We Dwarves in Moria need to stand up and say, 'No more!' We won't let bad acoustics get in our way." When asked if the money will help Zirak to try again at rebuilding the Bridge, Zirak smiled. "While my sorrow over the Bridge project can not fully be expressed, a check such as Mono's may help to soften the blow. Of course, whether we begin the project again depends on how soft that cushioning check is."

Posted at November 2, 2004 02:33 PM | more from Moria