Moria Hires New Manager
from The Mithril Post
headline news and notes from Moria
SPORTS
Moria Hires New Manager
This week the Miners welcome a new General Manager, Dirk Pleasant. Pleasant, who spent some time in the Sanitorium after a visit with BranMorda, was released from his position with the Old Forest Merry Fellows after healers certified his un-sanity. Now, he's at the helm of Moria. Said Brandelion of Lethargy, "He was the best choice for the job. Dirk is a strong leader. Once you get past the far-away look in his eye that speaks strongly of arcane torture, mental anguish, and if you can stomach the smell of rubbing alcohol, not to mention the incoherent babbling, he's an ok guy." Dirk Pleasant, always willing to talk with reporters, had plenty to say. Among the psycho-babble and maniacal, tittering laughter, Pleasant said he is excited to lead the Miners because of the team's connection to BranMorda. Pleasant offered little comment on his plans for the team, though he did repeatedly proclaim his undying love for Moria's formidable former manager.
Good Week For Miners
The Moria Miners won 4 out of 5 this week against Wilderland and Mirkwood, with a 4-hit shoutout by pitcher Bagdreg the Hated. In the same series, Sorthor Guviel scored on a catcher's error in the 9th. This follows a decent week in which the Miners won 5 out of 7 against Minas Tirith, Lake Town, and Bywater, with a noted RBI single in the 10th inning by up-and-coming talent, Haleth Bright Blade. Team management attributes the recent success to several trades and roster changes within the organization. "Talent and toenails," said unsane new manager, Dirk Pleasant. "Lots come in, lots go out. Shed them like skin. Lotsa good stuff in the Miners. We feed them cheese! [maniacal tittering]" Among the new talent on the team is flamboyant starting pitcher Virgil "Stilletto" Proudstaff, formerly of Bucklebury. "Oh, these Miners are fab-o!" Proudstaff shrieked girlishly to reporters, just before playing Mirkwood. "I'm giving several of the girls make-overs after tonight's game! It'll be super!"
Heodwyn Leaves Miners
After a closed meeting with team owner, Brandelion of Lethargy, Heodwyn Soft Voice announced her plans to leave the Miners. "I have always loved the Miners," Heodwyn said, "but it is time for me to move on." Heodwyn cited no reason for her sudden departure, though she assured players that she will remain a fan. "Over the years, I have grown so close to so many of the players, managers, and staff within the Miners organization. I have seen the strength of this team. It pains me to leave my friends. However, I will keep fond memories of them in my heart." Inside sources say Heodwyn's departure may have something to do with Bran's decision to hire the certifiably insane Dirk Pleasant, though none are able to confirm the rumor. Brandelion was contacted for comment, but declined.