38 and still going strong

via Rohan Post Dispatch

ROHAN - While Rohan is desperately waiting for their many young talents to bloom and improve, 38-old champion of veterans SP Legeron Iseomer last week set a stunning example as to how to keep in shape. Iseomer improved both stuff and control, boosting his already impressive overall rating to 10-8-8. As the rest of the Rohan pitching staff is struggling to make a stance against this year's tough competitors like Numenor, Isengard and Minas Morgul, Iseomer continues to deliver top performances while casually whistling the Rohan club song in between pitches.

"It's my weekly riding tour on my trusted steed over the plains," Iseomer stated when asked after his secret. "These days youngsters seem to think they are already stars and spend too much of their time off among the Edoras jet set. You can't expect to develop your talents when you sit in inns until after midnight each weekend."

Surely the League's oldest still playing all time star pointed to Badgerpoker, Bima, Bramble, Mulder, Karbonkel and Sareoden, six of Rohan's most notorious nightraiders, who are frequently joined by their female collegue Mathilda the Sling. 'That just doesn't do,' according to Iseomer, who is expected to be knighted after this season as Ridder of the Mark.

'Legomer is a living legend and a perfect example of a very professional baseball player,' manager Jools said when asked about Iseomer's seemingly everlasting improvement. 'It's incredible in fact. I mean just look at this guy. He is 38 years of age but still he looks like he's only 20 and each year it seems like he even grows an inch or so. And with this huge bunch of curly hair of his and those round rosy cheeks, one might think he only grows younger and stronger.'

With these remarks, Rohan's new manager unintentionally blew new life into old rumours. For many years, critics have claimed that Iseomer during his rides on the plains, strays far North and has been seen passing into Fangorn forest at times. 'I don't give not much credibilty to that,' Jools retorted. 'Much more important right now is that Rohan management finds a way to extend Legomer's contract for another year. We are looking for ways to make him change his mind.'

In the mean time, the much harrased manager has announced Bramble, Mulder and the Sling will be spending time in AAA until their performances improve.

Posted at March 30, 2005 08:43 PM | more from Ravenhill