Miners Change Minors; Adopt Slogan

BALIN'S TOMB -- A spokesdwarf for the Miners announced several changes within the organization, including new place names and mascots for Moria's three minor league teams. According to PR spokesdwarf, Nuli Hengehammer, the minor league teams will now be known as: AAA Long Cleeve Ages, AA Lhûn Attics, A Túna Casseroles.

As the new team names were announced, a cloth was torn from a large stone monument directly behind the spokesdwarf, set with glittering blue and green jewels in a dazzlingly intricate pattern. "The team logo has recently been redesigned, as this monument plainly illustrates. The new logo will henceforth be the moniker of Moria," announced Hengehammer, to a sea of ooohs and ahhs.

Hengehammer went on to announce that Brandelion of Lethargy, owner of the Moria Miners franchise, had grown quite fond of hearing the fans nickname for the Miners, the "Bats Out of Hell", and adopted it as the official slogan of Moria. Upon hearing the news, the crowd applauded fiercely amidst repetitive chantings of the slogan, "Bats Out of Hell! Bats Out of Hell!" The echos can still be heard ringing in the Halls of Khazad-dum.

No comment has been issued from team owner Brandelion, or from General Manager Dirk Pleasant, on the recent changes, though Hengehammer assures us that "the Queen is Right Pleased with herself over these new changes," and "has been laughing herself silly over that Lhûn Attics bit for weeks."

Posted at June 14, 2005 12:11 PM | more from Moria