Arwodur Grumbles; Extension Talk Crumbles; Orodruin Rumbles!

BARAD-DUR - Mort Sauronson is not happy. And when Mort isn't happy, his Evil-Father-Maiar isn't happy. And when his Evil-Father-Maiar isn't happy, Orodruin rumbles! Just months into his first season as owner of the Gorgoroth Balrogs, Sauronson has been dealt a major setback in his quest for a dynasty. Contract extension talks with ace pitcher Ban Arwodur have come to an acrimonious conclusion. What began as cordial discussions over re-signing Arwodur beyond the end of the 2009 season unexpectedly escalated into a yelling match and ended with both sides storming from the negotiation chambers. Durin's Bane's Second Cousin Twice Removed, contract negotiator and spokesbalrog for Gorgoroth was questioned by reporters immediately following the falling out. He stated that "ROAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGH" and that Arwodur was "sizzleRRRRRROOAAAARRRRRRGHsizzlesizzleRRRRrrr". As they were later being treated for 2nd degree burns, some reporters claimed to have heard him muttering "sizzlesizzlesizzleRRRRRRRRRsnapcracklepop" as he galumphed off fuming.

Arwodur, brushing burning embers off the scorched remnants of his uniform, stated that "those penny-pinching tightwads wouldn't go higher than 17 million for 3 years. They just don't appreciate my true worth. I don't care whether they're broke from paying reparations for the War of the Ring. That's not my problem!"

Sauronson stated that the Balrogs plan to keep Arwodur for the rest of this season. "After all, we do have a pennant to win." When pressured, he grudgingly admitted "I might be convinced to change my mind if an offer I couldn't refuse came along".

Meanwhile, Orodruin continues to rumble threateningly.

Posted at July 26, 2005 12:15 AM | more from Bree