Beardcutter wants out?
via Alynda Sylvane
Minas Morgul Times
MINAS MORGUL - Appearantly, Fabur Beardcutter has been feeling less than wanted in Minas Morgul lately. Not so much by his teammates or even from K.L., but instead from the fan base.
In particular, the dryads.
"Those stupid little dryads need to just leave me alone. I don't know what they want from me." Beardcutter lashed out in a postgame press conference, "I'm so sick of hearing about how much I make and how much Galealbo Elvawen makes. She signed her contract and I signed mine. Just leave me alone about it."
"I mean, "Fabur continued, "no one got on Imrilron and his huge salary when Foxburr got mentioned in the same breath as him for MVP. Or jumped on him when he hit just 42 HR, his lowest ever total - in a homerun haven."
"We may be 'stupid little dryads', but we know that Imrilron is perhaps the best player ever in this league and definitely one of the best hitters - and that you're nothing like him." One dryad lashed back, "You're not even the pitcher version of him. You make Imrilron's level of money, and don't give Imrilron's level of dominance!"
A lot of this stems from the fact that Beardcutter has won no more than 15 games in his career. In fact, last season he was just 12-11, barely over .500. This combined with the fact that Elvawen has won 15 games four times in her prior six years, reached 20 wins last year, and makes less than $7 million per year has gotten the dryad portion of the fanbase in a frenzy.
"It's ridiculous. I'm just as good as any pitcher in this league and I'm on their team. You'd think they'd be happy to have me on their mound instead of for the opposition, but that doesn't seem to be the case. It's [expletive] annoying." Beardcutter continued.
Despite the lack of wins, Beardcutter has appeared on the leaderboards for WHIP and Ks in every year of his career and in all but last year and his rookie year for ERA. Still, it's hard for most dryads to grasp the wins and his salary and the relation between the two. It doesn't help that Galealbo Elvawen, their current favorite player to compare him to, has several categories of leaderboard appearances in just six full seasons.
In response to his "what do they want from me?" blurb, the dryads held a region-wide survey. The question was: What do you want from Fabur Beardcutter.
The top answers by demographic are listed:
Dryads
1. Win more than 20 games (48%)
2. Sign for less money (36%)
3. Leave (12%)
4. Marry me (4%)
Elves and Men
1. Nothing, you're doing fine (55%)
2. Win more games (30%)
3. Teach Seladriel to throw strikes (10%)
4. Become the closer (5%)
Dwarves
1. Name of a good local tavern (83%)
2. Win more games (13%)
Ents
1. Entwives (93%)
2. What was the question? I was sleeping... (7%)
Ogres, Trolls, and Goblins
1. Duh, more games win (63%)
2. Less talk. More pitch. (20%)
3. Shiny things (12%)
The survey didn't exactly turn out quite like the dryads had hoped, at least not with how some of the races responded. Still, it did show the most any of the various peoples of the region want more wins out of Fabur, though the Elves and Men were by far the most satisfied with Fabur's play.
K.L. is hoping that the frustration among his team's newest and fastest growing fan base will pass.
"I think it's just a phase. They [the dryads] have been flocking to the games and the sport in general, but don't quite get how to read the stats and such, but they understand gold and wins, and how much of each you're getting. I think that's why they are so focused on that. I think it will go over with time. Fabur has been fine for us and the salary isn't much of a thought at this point." K.L. spoke. "Hopefully, the support of his teammates and the front office will help him get through this.
Fabur can help himself through this by just keeping as quiet as he can about the rantings of the dryads. Certainly, dragging Imrilron, who's essentially revered in Minas Morgul, won't help people understand his feelings any better.
Posted at February 25, 2006 08:41 PM | more from Minas Morgul