Goat Riders conspiracy dominates league

via Merry Fellows Gazette

MIDDLE EARTH - A rash string of mysterious incidents have recently dominated Tolkien Baseball, leaving some to believe that a conspiracy of "goat riders" is afoot.

The mysterious "goat riders" appears to be a secret organization that has infiltrated the SGCBL, and as many as three owners have been painted as members of the group. Those three owners are Tom Bombadil, of the first-place Old Forest Merry Fellows, Kevin, of the first-place Bywater Bounders, and JMR, of the Dunharrow Devils, who are currently a game out of first place. The question on peoples' minds today: is the success of these teams related to their dark magics practiced by their secret organization?

"What secret organization do you mean," Tom Bombadil sang regarding the accusal. "I'm actually more disorganized than you'd ever dream!"

"It's quite concerning," one unnamed owner said. "I mean, what if they are the ones who cursed my star player into injury?! What if they are conspiring against the league to give themselves an unfair advantage??!?! What if they somehow get it all wrong and Bree wins the championship??!?!?!?! It's freaking me out!!!!!!!!!!"

Dunharrow owner JMR remained elusive on the subject.

"I prefer not to comment on heresay and speculation - although I'd be very interested in knowing who started these rumors. Very interested. ...uh, not because I'd curse them or anything... it's just, uhm, oh, never mind!"

JMR then pointed out that while his team was competing for their division's pennant, it is likely to be because they spent "an assload of money this off-season" rather than some secret Goat Riding organization.

"Not to mention the fact that we actually have a losing record right now. And anyway, what's so scary about three guys riding around on goats at midnight while sacrificing virgin's blood to the dark pagan god Bazuul the Bear? ...uh, I may have said too much..."

Posted at March 22, 2007 12:51 PM | more from Old Forest