Sir Joe Hired to Shake Things up as the New General Manager of the Dol Guldur Dragons

DOL GULDUR - Even as the media debated the merits of those rumored to be in contention for Dol Guldur's GM post, team officials were furiously wrapping up negotiations with Sir Joe.

In a mid-afternoon press conference, Joe was trotted out to answer a flurry of questions from the startled media. Asked if he could handle the job, Joe responded testily, "That's why they hired me. I know the team has issues, but look around Tolkien Baseball and show me a team that doesn't."

Shortly after completing his purchase of the Dol Guldur Dragons, the perennial Troll Division dungeon dweller, new owner Sir Joe Allen released the following statement.

"I am unaware of the previous goings-on in the Dol Guldur organization, and frankly I don't care. This franchise will no longer lick the bootheels of the likes of Minas Morgul, Isengard or even Dagorlad. This organization will be a winner.

Beginning today, I am serving notice that no position in this organization is safe. I will be scrutinizing all coaches and staff as well as every player in all levels of the ballclub. No player is untouchable and I will take any steps necessary to improve this team.

Effective immediately, I will be taking over the GM position and will evaluate any and all trade offers for ANY of the players on the Dragons roster or our minor leagues.

We will be aggressive in our pursuit of free agent talent and will be carefully reviewing all business practices put into place by the previous owners. This will include considerations of changes to the ballpark down to the type of mead served by the mead vendors.

This organization needs a clean slate from which to start over and I am the man that will wipe that slate clean. The minions of Dol Guldur deserve better than what they have received in the past few years.

The Dragons will fly high in the Mordor Conference. "

Posted at November 13, 2007 07:47 PM | more from Dol Guldur