Dead Marshes

The Fighting Uruk Hai


October 20, 2014

MC Names Best Player

Monday, May 6th, 2030 The Mordor Conference has named its Top Player of the Week. The honor went to Gredoc Foemasher, third baseman of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai. In an extraordinary hitting display, he belted out hits at a .560...

October 09, 2014

Star of the Week Picked in MC

Monday, April 15th, 2030 Mordor Conference pitchers will attest that it was tough to get Dudo Hornblower of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai out last week. His all-around performance at the plate made him the league's most recent Player of the...

Star 2B Signs Extension with Dead Marshes

Wednesday, April 10th, 2030 Media analysts hailed Dead Marshes's signing of Hildibrand Dap, one of Tolkien Baseball's brightest stars, as a pivotal move. While the deal is certain to raise a few eyebrows, Dap is expected to earn every bit...

It's Over: Slayers Stop *Samarkand

Tuesday, April 9th, 2030 Thraryn *Samarkand saw his 24-game hitting streak wither and die today during the Uruk-hai 4-1 victory over Minas Morgul at Sylvan Cove. The 26-year-old center fielder was held hitless in 4 at-bats by Slayers, but his...

October 06, 2014

*Samarkand Sizzles with 20-Game Batting Streak

Thursday, April 4th, 2030 The Dead Marshes Uruk-hai suffered a 7-3 setback today at the hands of the Ravenhill Darkwings at Uruk-hai Field, but their hot-hitting center fielder Thraryn *Samarkand went 1-for-4 and stretched his consecutive-game hitting streak to 20...

August 18, 2014

Veteran Thunderarrow Agrees to 1-Year Deal

Wednesday, January 30th, 2030 Dead Marshes fans were pleased with the signing of Moisil Thunderarrow today. The 36-year-old inked a 1-year, $1,400,000 deal with the Uruk-hai. Though his numbers don't jump out at you, Thunderarrow does fill a void for...

August 14, 2014

Moss Signs for 7 years

Thursday, January 24th, 2030 Media analysts hailed Dead Marshes's signing of Bulbo Moss, one of Tolkien Baseball's brightest stars, as a pivotal move. While the deal is certain to raise a few eyebrows, Moss is expected to earn every bit...

August 11, 2014

Star CL Signs Extension with Dead Marshes

Sunday, January 6th, 2030 Media analysts hailed Dead Marshes's signing of Gandaudur Eäräthien, one of Tolkien Baseball's brightest stars, as a pivotal move. While the deal is certain to raise a few eyebrows, Eäräthien is expected to earn every bit...

August 09, 2014

Uruk-hai in Front Office Shakeup; the German Takes Over as GM

Tuesday, January 1st, 2030 It's official. Mikee the German is the new GM for the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai. This hiring has been in the rumor mill for the past few weeks, but the club made it official today. Terms of...

July 17, 2014

Dead Marshes Outfielder Wins Aragorn MVP

Friday, November 16th, 2029 There were a lot of firsts this year for the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai, but one of the proudest accomplishments had to be that of Thraryn *Samarkand. *Samarkand, 25, not only hit .364 to lead all SGCBL...

June 30, 2014

Wyrms Sweep Dead Marshes

Wednesday, October 24th, 2029 The season came to a crashing halt for the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai when the Minas Ithil Wyrms beat them 7-1 today at Uruk-hai Field to sweep the Return of the King Series 4-0. Fans in Minas...

June 11, 2014

*Samarkand Hits .364 to Earn MC Crown

Sunday, September 30th, 2029 The Mordor Conference announced today that Thraryn *Samarkand of Dead Marshes was the league's top hitter in 2029. He recorded a .364 batting average to win the honor. The Uruk-hai center fielder had 208 hits with...

April 15, 2014

MC's Best Player Named

Monday, June 25th, 2029 Thraryn *Samarkand demonstrated his potential to be a star in the game last week and today he took home the Mordor Conference Player of the Week Award. The Dead Marshes center fielder wreaked havoc on opposing...

March 20, 2014

MC Batter of the Month Honors to *Samarkand

Tuesday, May 1st, 2029 Thraryn *Samarkand of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai certainly made a resounding impression on the Mordor Conference pitching corps in April and today reaped the reward as the league's best batter for the period. The center fielder...

January 23, 2014

Veteran Brainthrottler Agrees to 5-Year Deal

Friday, January 12th, 2029 The Uruk-hai today announced that they have come to terms with Prorbag Brainthrottler, a 28-year-old closer they've been scouting for a while. Brainthrottler will earn $8,050,000 a year over 5 years and is expected to play...

January 02, 2014

MC Frodo Rookie Award Announced

Wednesday, November 1st, 2028 Hildibrand Dap of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai enjoyed a fine rookie season in 2028, culminating today with his announcement as the winner of the Mordor Conference Frodo Rookie Award. During the regular season the 26-year-old budding...

December 09, 2013

the Vague Punishes MC Pitchers This Week

Monday, September 25th, 2028 There's nothing like being in the prime of your baseball career -- and playing like it. Just ask Baztrak the Vague, the Dead Marshes catcher, who swung a sweet bat all week to not only aid...

Bad Boy Brawlers Suspended 13 Games

Friday, September 22nd, 2028 Sometimes on the baseball diamond disparaging words are uttered in anger and lead to more than what the players bargained for. That's what happened at yesterday's Dead Marshes Uruk-hai-Grey Havens Stars game at Uruk-hai Field. What...

November 26, 2013

August's #1 Starter Named in MC

Friday, September 1st, 2028 Last month was a very successful month for Snikbad No-Tooth of Dead Marshes. So successful that he has been honored as the Pitcher of the Month in the Mordor Conference. No-Tooth shut down league hitters in...

November 11, 2013

Dead Marshes's *Samarkand Bags MC Top Batter for July

Tuesday, August 1st, 2028 The Mordor Conference has made it official -- Thraryn *Samarkand is the winner of the Batter of the Month trophy. In July, the Dead Marshes center fielder starred with a .490 batting average, 13 home runs...

November 07, 2013

*Samarkand Mordor Conference's Hottest Hitter

Monday, July 31st, 2028 One of the league's most exciting young players, Thraryn *Samarkand of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai earned himself Mordor Conference Player of the Week honors with a standout performance in last week's games. For the week the...

October 31, 2013

*Samarkand Mordor Conference's Hottest Hitter

Monday, July 17th, 2028 One of the league's most exciting young players, Thraryn *Samarkand of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai earned himself Mordor Conference Player of the Week honors with a standout performance in last week's games. For the week the...

October 28, 2013

Week's Premier Performer Honored by MC

Monday, July 10th, 2028 One of the league's most exciting young players, Thraryn *Samarkand of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai earned himself Mordor Conference Player of the Week honors with a standout performance in last week's games. For the week the...

October 03, 2013

MC Star of the Week Picked

Monday, May 29th, 2028 This week's Player of the Week was Baztrak the Vague of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai. His big bat beat up on Mordor Conference pitching for 8 hits in 19 at-bats, 3 home runs and 9 RBIs...

August 12, 2013

Dead Marshes Inks Star 1B to $111,860,000 Deal

Wednesday, February 2nd, 2028 Fans were ecstatic as the Uruk-hai broke word that they had reached an agreement with Gredoc Foemasher, the phenomenal young first baseman today. The deal, valued at $18,643,333 per year, will last 6 years and give...

July 29, 2013

Uruk-hai Win Sweepstakes for RF Puñal

Thursday, December 9th, 2027 The euphoria surrounding a big name deal can sometimes overshadow the deal itself. Occasionally a team will mortgage its future to make a big splash, though no one in Dead Marshes was worried about that today...

June 24, 2013

MC Top Newcomer Named

Monday, November 15th, 2027 This year's best newcomer has been chosen and the 2027 Mordor Conference Frodo Rookie Award trophy went to Dead Marshes center fielder Thraryn *Samarkand. It was a season to remember for the 23-year-old Uruk-hai rookie. He...

June 06, 2013

.362 Average Wins Title for Green

Friday, October 1st, 2027 Crystal Green went to the plate 563 times, collected 204 hits and came away with the 2027 Mordor Conference batting title. H .362 average placed her at the top of the list. The Dead Marshes Uruk-hai...

May 09, 2013

Green Wins MC Player of the Week Honors

Monday, August 9th, 2027 Crystal Green has been in a real groove lately. The 31-year-old Dead Marshes Uruk-hai first baseman nabbed Mordor Conference Player of the Week honors today after beating up on opposing pitchers all last week. Green's hot...

April 08, 2013

*the Indefatiguable Joins HOF Legends

Friday, July 2nd, 2027 A huge crowd watched Sarukh *the Indefatiguable become the newest member of the Tolkien Baseball Hall of Fame today. "I'm a big believer in whatever you want, if you want something out of this game, you've...

April 01, 2013

MC Player of the Week Named

Monday, June 28th, 2027 It's always a thrill for fans of the team and students of the game alike when a superstar in the making shows what he's got. Thraryn *Samarkand, the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai 23-year-old center fielder, put himself...

March 14, 2013

Player of the Week Trophy to Green

Monday, May 31st, 2027 There's nothing like being in the prime of your baseball career -- and playing like it. Just ask Crystal Green, the Dead Marshes first baseman, who swung a sweet bat all week to not only aid...

November 26, 2012

Tunnelbender Red-Hot, MC Player of the Week

Monday, September 14th, 2026 His hard work and hustle paid off this week. The hard-working and hard-playing Halildur Tunnelbender was rewarded with the Mordor Conference Player of the Week honors. The scrappy Dead Marshes Uruk-hai first baseman hit .520 while...

November 19, 2012

Player of the Week Trophy to Rego

Monday, September 7th, 2026 This week's Player of the Week was Hob Rego of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai. He battered Mordor Conference pitching for 11 hits in 27 at-bats, 5 home runs and 9 RBIs while hitting .407 and scoring...

October 25, 2012

Rego Sticks it to MC Pitchers

Monday, July 20th, 2026 Pitchers who faced the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai last week were happy to see Hob Rego in the rear view mirror. The 26-year-old left fielder was dubbed the Mordor Conference Player of the Week for a 7-game...

September 24, 2012

Uruk-hai Nosethrower Has 15 Ks

Saturday, May 16th, 2026 Dead Marshes Uruk-hai starting pitcher Rark Nosethrower brought his best stuff to the game against the Grey Havens Stars today at Uruk-hai Field, striking out 15 batters in his club's 5-1 victory. In a strong performance,...

September 20, 2012

Dead Marshes Left Fielder Nets MC Award

Monday, May 11th, 2026 It's always a thrill for fans of the team and students of the game alike when a superstar in the making shows what he's got. Hob Rego, the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai 25-year-old left fielder, put himself...

July 19, 2012

Dragonmaster Khrog Named GM, Takes Control of Uruk-hai

Monday, February 23rd, 2026 It has been talked about for several weeks, but now it is official. An agreement has been reached, and Dragonmaster Khrog is the new general manager for the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai....

May 17, 2012

the Vague Wins MC Honor

Monday, September 29th, 2025: Baztrak the Vague is respected by most Dead Marshes Uruk-hai fans for his no-frills style of play. The 23-year-old catcher went about his business with vigor last week to grab the Mordor Conference Player of the...

May 14, 2012

MC Player of the Week Named

Monday, September 22nd, 2025: It's always a thrill for fans of the team and students of the game alike when a superstar in the making shows what he's got. Halildur Tunnelbender, the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai 25-year-old first baseman, put himself...

May 03, 2012

MC Honors Rego, Best Hitter in August

Monday, September 1st, 2025: When Hob Rego stepped up to the plate in August, he did it with confidence and today he was honored with the Mordor Conference Batter of the Month award. The young Dead Marshes left fielder posted...

Player of the Week: Rego of the Uruk-hai

Monday, September 1st, 2025: Hob Rego demonstrated his potential to be a star in the game last week and today he took home the Mordor Conference Player of the Week Award. The Dead Marshes left fielder wreaked havoc on opposing...

April 05, 2012

Star of the Week Selected in MC

Monday, July 21st, 2025: Crystal Green swung a blistering bat last week for Dead Marshes, rapping out 13 hits in 23 at-bats against Uruk-hai opponents to propel herself to the Mordor Conference Player of the Week Award. Whenever the first...

March 12, 2012

Daggerdrinker Picked as May's Pitcher of the Month

Sunday, June 1st, 2025: This month when the Dagorlad manager wrote the name "Daggerdrinker" on the lineup card, he was pretty confident that he would get a good start out of him. Outing after outing in May Sikar Daggerdrinker took...

February 16, 2012

MC's Best Player Named

Monday, May 5th, 2025: 24-year-old Mimsh Moonpoker sent shock waves through Tolkien Baseball last week with an eye-popping performance that brought him the Mordor Conference Player of the Week Award. A newcomer to the league, Moonpoker made the establishment sit...

November 07, 2011

Player of the Week: Armorarm of the Uruk-hai

Monday, September 23rd, 2024: 26-year-old Gignar Armorarm sent shock waves through Tolkien Baseball last week with an eye-popping performance that brought him the Mordor Conference Player of the Week Award. A newcomer to the league, Armorarm made the establishment sit...

*the Indefatiguable Hits for the Cycle

Thursday, September 19th, 2024: Sarukh *the Indefatiguable hit for the cycle and paced Dead Marshes to a 13-11 victory over the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai. The Uruk-hai left fielder led the way with 4 hits in 5 at-bats with 4 RBI...

October 31, 2011

*the Indefatiguable Reaches 400 Mark

Saturday, September 7th, 2024: Uruk-hai left fielder Sarukh *the Indefatiguable reached a career milestone yesterday, blasting home run number 400. He took the achievement in stride. "It's always good to get another home run and even better to get another...

October 24, 2011

Week's Premier Performer Honored by MC

Monday, August 26th, 2024: Her hard work and hustle paid off this week. The hard-working and hard-playing Flormina Celim was rewarded with the Mordor Conference Player of the Week honors. The scrappy Dead Marshes Uruk-hai second baseman hit .409 while...

October 10, 2011

Dead Marshes's Bromburg Injured, Out of Lineup

Wednesday, July 24th, 2024: The Dead Marshes Uruk-hai were dealt a severe blow when Kim Bromburg was hurt throwing a pitch recently in a game against the Minas Tirith Titans. After the game, the team trainer reported Bromburg might have...

October 03, 2011

MC Awards Best Batter Prize to Rego

Monday, July 15th, 2024: It's always a thrill for fans of the team and students of the game alike when a superstar in the making shows what he's got. Hob Rego, the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai 24-year-old left fielder, put himself...

September 12, 2011

Trull King of Fling with No-Hitter

Saturday, June 8th, 2024: It's a rare thing to pitch a no-hitter in baseball. It's done by the great and the not-so-great. There are times when an average pitcher will briefly be glorified by this achievement. It is not an...

Uruk-hai, Wyrms Confirm Deal

Monday, June 3rd, 2024: It won't turn either team into an instant contender or provide a huge franchise shakeup, but the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai and Minas Ithil Wyrms finalized a trade today. Dead Marshes will send 28-year-old left fielder Isumbras...

August 29, 2011

Rego's Strong Week Earns MC Trophy

Monday, May 13th, 2024: Hob Rego demonstrated his potential to be a star in the game last week and today he took home the Mordor Conference Player of the Week Award. The Dead Marshes center fielder wreaked havoc on opposing...

August 18, 2011

7-Hit Barrage by Celim

Saturday, April 20th, 2024: Flormina Celim was on quite a roll today as she knocked the ball all over the park, collecting 7 hits and leading the Uruk-hai to a 7-6 victory over the Ravenhill Darkwings. After the first three...

August 15, 2011

Player of the Week Trophy to Rego

Monday, April 15th, 2024: One of the league's most exciting young players, Hob Rego of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai earned himself Mordor Conference Player of the Week honors with a standout performance in last week's games. For the week the...

July 14, 2011

Dead Marshes Wins Lottery for MR Numenesse

Sunday, December 31st, 2023: Team insiders were tight-lipped prior to today's deal that brought 36-year-old reliever Fingolfin Numenesse to Dead Marshes. Numenesse is considered one of the league's A-list players and certainly will enhance any chances the Uruk-hai have to...

May 30, 2011

Week's Top Player: Dead Marshes's Belulinde

Monday, September 25th, 2023: His hard work and hustle paid off this week. The hard-working and hard-playing Kingsfriend Belulinde was rewarded with the Mordor Conference Player of the Week honors. The scrappy Dead Marshes Uruk-hai third baseman hit .533 while...

April 21, 2011

Star MR Signs Extension with Dead Marshes

Thursday, July 20th, 2023: Team officials triumphantly announced that the Uruk-hai and superstar reliever Palin Trollworker have closed a deal that keeps the 32-year-old in a Dead Marshes uniform for another 3 years. Trollworker will earn $19,170,000 as part of...

April 01, 2011

MC Names Top Player of the Week

Monday, June 19th, 2023: It was announced today that Dead Marshes left fielder Sarukh *the Indefatiguable had received the Mordor Conference Player of the Week Award for his impressive play last week. All week long he was terrific at the...

March 07, 2011

*the Indefatiguable Wins Best Bat Trophy in April

Monday, May 1st, 2023: Seasoned by several years of professional experience, 29-year-old Sarukh *the Indefatiguable put together a solid offensive month for Dead Marshes and was crowned April's top batter in the Mordor Conference. He batted .346 with 12 home...

February 17, 2011

Star SP Signs Extension with Dead Marshes

Saturday, April 8th, 2023: Team officials triumphantly announced that the Uruk-hai and superstar starting pitcher Vrudak Headgobber have closed a deal that keeps the 28-year-old in a Dead Marshes uniform for another 1 year. Headgobber will earn $1,080,000 as part...

January 25, 2011

Mirkwood, Dead Marshes Close Deal

Sunday, February 5th, 2023: The Mirkwood Marauders addressed a concern today, coming to terms with the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai on a trade that will send 23-year-old first baseman Halildur Tunnelbender from the Marauders to the Uruk-hai in exchange for 25-year-old...

January 23, 2011

Star CL Bromburg Settles on Dead Marshes

Wednesday, January 4th, 2023: Dead Marshes fans could barely contain their jubilation as Kim Bromburg, considered one of the best at her position, opted to sign with the club. The deal, estimated at $64,800,000 over 4 years, is seen as...

November 01, 2010

Sarukh *the Indefatiguable Hurt, Out 4 Weeks

Sunday, August 14th, 2022: The Uruk-hai will be minus Sarukh *the Indefatiguable for about 4 weeks after the left fielder suffered a fractured rib while making a defensive play in a recent game against Misty Mountain. *the Indefatiguable and the...

October 18, 2010

Star SP Headgobber Signs for 1 year

Sunday, July 10th, 2022: Dead Marshes fans celebrated as word of a signing became reality. Vrudak Headgobber won't be pulling up stakes anytime soon, as he has signed a 1-year extension at a pay rate of $1,080,000 per annum. Since...

October 11, 2010

*the Indefatiguable Gets #300

Tuesday, June 28th, 2022: Sarukh *the Indefatiguable hit a historic home run today -- career blast number 300. "I am happy to be in such elite company. It has been quite a ride so far," *the Indefatiguable said after the...

September 30, 2010

Ringtearer Gets 2-Game Suspension

Thursday, June 23rd, 2022: Dead Marshes second baseman Minus Ringtearer was ejected in the game between the Uruk-hai and Disaster for letting loose a profanity-laced tirade against the home plate umpire after some calls didn't go the way he wanted....

September 02, 2010

Week's Premier Player: Dead Marshes's Gamgee

Monday, May 9th, 2022: In the twilight of her career, 36-year-old Petunia Gamgee of Dead Marshes recaptured some of the old magic last week and came away with the Mordor Conference Player of the Week Award. "I've been playing since...

Gamgee Gets Number 2500

Sunday, May 8th, 2022: Petunia Gamgee was bubbling over with joy, celebrating her 2500th hit in the Dead Marshes 15-2 victory over the Royals at Royals Stadium. "I learned what hard work, focus, dedication, and opportunity can do. This is...

May 20, 2010

Mordor Conference Selects Best Performer

Monday, August 30th, 2021: One of the league's most exciting young players, Isumbras Bauwyn of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai earned himself Mordor Conference Player of the Week honors with a standout performance in last week's games. For the week the...

April 15, 2010

Dead Marshes SP Andrack Antslammer Injured

Saturday, July 3rd, 2021: The Dead Marshes Uruk-hai were dealt a severe blow when Andrack Antslammer was hurt throwing a pitch recently in a game against the Lothlorien Lumberjacks. After the game, the team trainer reported Antslammer might have to...

April 08, 2010

Marblerage Slams Milestone Homer

Monday, June 14th, 2021: "I wasn't trying to hit a homer. I just wanted to make contact." That's what Mim Marblerage told reporters after he made baseball history today at Woodland Field. The prolific slugger belted home run #400 in...

April 01, 2010

MC Player of the Week Selected

Monday, June 7th, 2021: At the age of 27, Sarukh *the Indefatiguable might have some potential he hasn't realized yet -- if his success at the plate last week is any indication. The Dead Marshes left fielder put up some...

March 29, 2010

Great Week for Dead Marshes's Sarukh *the Indefatiguable

Monday, May 31st, 2021: At the age of 27, Sarukh *the Indefatiguable might have some potential he hasn't realized yet -- if his success at the plate last week is any indication. The Dead Marshes left fielder put up some...

March 22, 2010

Elviowyn Finalizes Extension with Uruk-hai

Thursday, May 13th, 2021: Sources familiar with dealings between Boredriel Elviowyn and Dead Marshes report that the two sides have pushed aside their differences and worked out an extension. The 28-year-old agreed to a $2,180,000 deal that will have him...

March 11, 2010

League KO's Uruk-hai-Marauders Players with 3-Game Suspensions

Friday, April 23rd, 2021: The league commissioner announced that two players had been suspended for inappropriate conduct. He told BNN, "What I'm trying to do with these penalties is say, we can't stop you from doing these things, but if...

Bauwyn Smashes 3 Homers for Dead Marshes

Thursday, April 22nd, 2021: Isumbras Bauwyn of Dead Marshes was on fire with three home runs in the 27-9 win over Mirkwood at Uruk-hai Field. "The first two I got all of them and it was no doubt they were...

February 15, 2010

Veteran 2B Marblerage, Dead Marshes Reportedly in Talks

Wednesday, February 10th, 2021: Mim Marblerage said to local media today that he likes Dead Marshes and that the city has an excellent school system for his kids. Does this mean the 35-year-old will finalize a deal with the Uruk-hai?...

February 04, 2010

Uruk-hai Win Sweepstakes for MR Holton

Sunday, January 31st, 2021: Despite his solid numbers, some fans questioned the value of the Warren Holton signing even as Dead Marshes officials paraded him before the media this afternoon. Holton will surely bring a lot to the club, but...

Star SP Antslammer Settles on Dead Marshes

Thursday, January 21st, 2021: The Dead Marshes Uruk-hai presented a battle-hardened Andrack Antslammer to the local press corps today as their latest signing. The 37-year-old starting pitcher sealed a 2-year deal worth $21,000,000 mere hours before the formal introduction. In...

Dead Marshes Fired up over Signing of SP Rodrigues

Saturday, January 16th, 2021: There was a buzz in the air today as news broke of Dead Marshes finalizing a deal with star starting pitcher Adrian Rodrigues. The deal, worth an estimated $20,020,000 over 2 years, proved a big hit...

Veteran SS Gamgee Settles on Uruk-hai

Saturday, January 16th, 2021: Word of a huge deal between Petunia Gamgee and Dead Marshes broke on BNN minutes before a deal was officially announced. The premiere shortstop will play for an estimated $9,130,000 per year. She is definitely capable...

Dead Marshes Wins Lottery for LF Bauwyn

Wednesday, January 13th, 2021: As speculation mounted into the morning, rumors over a final agreement between Isumbras Bauwyn and Dead Marshes became a reality, with the star opting for a $107,350,000 deal over 4 years. Bauwyn has a lifetime .300...

It's Official: CL Trollhead Signs with Uruk-hai

Tuesday, January 12th, 2021: Talk of a deal between Dead Marshes and Tigan Trollhead came together today as the two sides inked a deal worth $17,800,000 over 2 years. Trollhead is highly regarded around Tolkien Baseball for his talents and...

Dead Marshes Inks Star CL to $19,170,000 Deal

Friday, January 8th, 2021: In what local scribes are hailing as huge, the Uruk-hai inked a $19,170,000 deal with closer Palin Trollworker. Team Officials expect Trollworker to fill an immediate void on the roster and felt the deal would make...

January 01, 2010

Hall of Fame Honors Todo Sandybanks

Friday, October 30th, 2020: Today was a historic day that Todo Sandybanks will never forget. The superb pitcher was inducted into the Tolkien Baseball Hall of Fame alongside the great baseball immortals of the past. He was introduced by one...

Miller in Tolkien Baseball HOF

Friday, October 30th, 2020: The Tolkien Baseball Hall of Fame honors those players who are the best at their position, those special individuals whose skills make them unforgettable in the eyes of baseball fans everywhere. Another such player was recognized...

December 03, 2009

Langflood Lightning Win League Championship Series

Thursday, September 3rd, 2020: The 2020 League Championship Series is history and SGCBL Single A has added another champion to its record book. Langflood prevailed over Prairie Hill today with a 11-4 victory at Ballpark of Prairie Hill. It was...

October 15, 2009

Week's Premier Performer Honored by MC

Monday, June 8th, 2020: At the age of 26, Sarukh *the Indefatiguable might have some potential he hasn't realized yet -- if his success at the plate last week is any indication. The Dead Marshes left fielder put up some...

October 08, 2009

Raymond Miller Hurt, Out 4-5 Months

Thursday, May 21st, 2020: The Dead Marshes Uruk-hai will be without the services of Raymond Miller for 4-5 months after an incident in a game against the Isengard Raiders. The 38-year-old shortstop was injured while colliding with a player at...

June 25, 2009

MC Star of the Week Honored

One of the league's most exciting young players, Sarukh *the Indefatiguable of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai earned himself Mordor Conference Player of the Week honors with a standout performance in last week's games. For the week the 25-year-old left fielder...

June 11, 2009

S. *the Indefatiguable Touches All the Bases, Hits for Cycle

Hitting for the cycle is defined as hitting a single, double, triple and home run in the same game. How often does that happen? Not very often, especially considering that a cycle is a microcosm of what makes a complete...

April 23, 2009

Toughest Out of the Week Wins MC Award

One of the league's most exciting young players, Sarukh *the Indefatiguable of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai earned himself Mordor Conference Player of the Week honors with a standout performance in last week's games. For the week the 25-year-old left fielder...

April 09, 2009

Miller Reaches 2000 Milestone

Dol Guldur beat Dead Marshes 12-7 on May 11 at Uruk-hai Field, but it still was a good game for Uruk-hai third baseman Raymond Miller, who went 2-for-4 and reached the 2000-hit mark. Miller is batting .310 with 2000 career...

April 02, 2009

Cavernmover Hurt, Out for Year

The season is ending on a bad note for Kinar Cavernmover, third baseman for the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai. It was announced today that he will miss the rest of the season because of injury. Cavernmover was hurt against the Ravenhill...

February 26, 2009

Dead Marshes Fired up over Signing of 3B Miller

Surprising some observers, the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai announced the signing of 37-year-old Raymond Miller today. The contract runs for 3 years and is valued at $73,320,000. Miller was described as an "elder statesman" by club officials and former teammates, who...

December 18, 2008

Entwash Beats Withywindle in League Championship Series

It was Entwash and Withywindle challenging one other in the 2018 SGCBL Double A League Championship Series this season. On paper, there wasn't much difference between the two strong ballclubs, but on the field, the verdict went to the Goblins....

October 23, 2008

Miller Belts Number 300

DOL GULDUR - 300 home runs is a lot of home runs to hit. It's a number that very few players reach. On June 6, Raymond Miller became a member of that exclusive club. He belted it at Dol Guldur...

October 20, 2008

League Gives Silva 3-Game Suspension

NUMENOR - The Dead Marshes Uruk-hai were not very happy with the home plate umpire in the May 30 loss to Numenor at Capital One Stadium. One in particular -- Wenceslao Silva. Upon being called out on strikes, the Uruk-hai...

October 16, 2008

MC Player of the Week Goes to Miller of Dead Marshes

Few players his age are still in the league, but Raymond Miller of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai clearly loves the game and clearly he can still get the job done. Last week the 36-year-old third baseman hit the ball with...

September 29, 2008

Season Possibly Over for Gealf Faramir

The season is apparently over for Gealf Faramir. The Dead Marshes Uruk-hai medical staff informed the club that the reliever will be out at least 11-12 months with a ruptured bicep tendon. Faramir was hurt in the game April 18...

August 24, 2008

Miners Deal Tinàlindë to Uruk-hai for Tinàlindë

The Miners and Uruk-hai confirmed this afternoon that a trade had been agreed upon. In the deal, Moria will get 22-year old minor league right fielder Gamodoc Tinàlindë, while Dead Marshes will receive 24-year old minor league closer Gameodriel Tinàlindë....

August 22, 2008

Grillo Traded for Draft Picks

The rumor has been out there for a while now and today it was made official. The Minas Morgul Slayers have sent 30-year old reliever Leopoldo Grillo to the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai for a 1st round draft pick this year...

August 18, 2008

Mauhur *the Looter takes on Uruk-hai Coaching Job

DEAD MARSHES - Former Uruk, Mauhur *the Looter, returned to Dead Marshes today, signing on as the new hitting coach for the major league team. The Hall of Fame second baseman made a career out of consistent hitting and speed...

August 14, 2008

Dead Marshes, Dunharrow Agree to Trade

The Dead Marshes Uruk-hai swapped 30-year old catcher Imcir Imcirion for 34-year old starting pitcher Eucalypta the Pink, 20-year old minor league left fielder Bogey Morena and a 3rd round draft pick in 2018 and 2019 of the Devils after...

July 03, 2008

Dead Marshes and Dunharrow Agree to Deal

DEAD MARSHES - A trade between the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai and the Dunharrow Devils was made official this morning. The Dead Marshes Uruk-hai have sent 34-year old starting pitcher Todo Sandybanks and a 4th round draft pick to the Dunharrow...

June 09, 2008

Carrock-Dead Marshes Trade: Nerith for Cavernmasher

Officials for the Carrock Bears confirmed that they have traded 30-year old second baseman Legeden Nerith to the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai. In return, the Bears will receive 27-year old reliever Begrin Cavernmasher. In 2017, Nerith is hitting .257 with 7...

May 29, 2008

MC's #1 Player Named

Dead Marshes fans had a lot to cheer about this week as right fielder Wenceslao Silva brought home the Mordor Conference Player of the Week trophy. During his week-long batting binge he reeled off a .500 batting average, 15 hits...

May 08, 2008

Uruk-hai Ink MR Faramir to Extension

DEAD MARSHES - Dead Marshes fans celebrated as word of a signing became reality. Gealf Faramir won't be pulling up stakes anytime soon, as he has signed a 2-year extension at a pay rate of $5,820,000 per annum. Since he...

February 25, 2008

Sandybanks #1 MC Pitcher in August

Question: Who was the #1 pitcher in the Mordor Conference in August? Answer: He's the guy who has stymied the most MC hitters during the last month. That would be Todo Sandybanks of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai. He excelled with...

February 11, 2008

*the Indefatiguable Wins MC Player of the Week

Sarukh *the Indefatiguable of the Uruk-hai relied on a sharp eye and a quick bat to outpace all other Mordor Conference hitters last week and collect the Player of the Week Award. He hit .440 with 11 hits in 25...

January 07, 2008

Titans and Uruk-hai Agree to Swap

The Minas Tirith Titans have parted ways with 28-year old second baseman Minus Ringtearer and 20-year old minor league first baseman Hamson Tunnelly, sending him to the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai for 39-year old reliever Gollogrin Gaum and 23-year old minor...

January 03, 2008

Dead Marshes Re-Signs Imcirion for 7 Years

DEAD MARSHES - Dead Marshes received a bit of good news May 29 as their catcher Imcir Imcirion accepted a $15,830,000-per-year offer that will keep him in a Uruk-hai uniform for 7 years. In the 2016 campaign Imcirion has hit...

December 27, 2007

Week's #1 Player - Dead Marshes's *the Indefatiguable

Today the Mordor Conference announced its Player of the Week Award winner -- Dead Marshes Uruk-hai left fielder Sarukh *the Indefatiguable, who batted .345 (10-29) with 5 home runs, 8 RBIs and 10 runs scored. *the Indefatiguable has a .312...

December 20, 2007

Week's Best Player Honored by MC

Raymond Miller of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai culminated a sensational week of play by being named the Mordor Conference Player of the Week. He rocked the opposition with a .423 batting average, 11 hits in 26 at-bats, 2 home runs,...

November 05, 2007

MC's Top Rookie Proclaimed

Sarukh *the Indefatiguable's debut season was more than he had ever dreamed. Today the Mordor Conference saluted him as the 2015 Frodo Rookie Award winner. "I could hardly believe it," he told the press. "To make the team and be...

October 02, 2007

Week's Best Player Honored by MC

Speak softly and carry a big stick and you could win the Mordor Conference Player of the Week Award just like Nose of Sauron. He really dazzled on the diamond this week with a .520 average to take home the...

September 06, 2007

Mauhur *the Looter Elected to Hall of Fame

DEAD MARSHES - After consideration by the owners, Mauhur *the Looter becomes the 10th member of the SGCBL Hall of Fame, being named on 79% of the ballots cast. Mauhur *the Looter was one of those rare players who played...

Rookie of the Month Won by *the Indefatiguable

Sarukh *the Indefatiguable wreaked havoc on Mordor Conference pitching last month and led the charge for the Rookie of the Month Award. In June he batted .292 for the Uruk-hai, lashing 28 hits and 4 home runs. The Dead Marshes...

September 03, 2007

Great Week for Dead Marshes's Left Fielder

The #1 hitter in the Mordor Conference was Dead Marshes left fielder Sarukh *the Indefatiguable. He was selected the Player of the Week for compiling these stats: 24 AB, 6 R, 11 H, .458 BA, 2 HR, 4 RBI, 1...

August 30, 2007

MC's Top Player, Miller of Dead Marshes

Raymond Miller of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai was locked in all week as he bullied the Mordor Conference pitchers he faced. Miller put up some great numbers and hauled in the Mordor Conference Player of the Week trophy. He hit...

August 20, 2007

Dead Marshes's *the Indefatiguable Winner, MC Best Hitter in May

Sarukh *the Indefatiguable of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai really stood out at the plate during May. The red-hot center fielder manhandled Mordor Conference pitchers by banging out a .402 batting average on his way to the Batter of the Month...

Sarukh *the Indefatiguable Goes Deep 3 Times!

DEAD MARSHES - It's an event that only happens once every 450 games -- a player hits three homers in a game. It happened at Uruk-hai Field on May 29 when Sarukh *the Indefatiguable of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai unloaded...

July 26, 2007

Miller Injured, Out of Lineup 7-8 Weeks

DEAD MARSHES - It took the Dead Marshes team doctor a while to realize it, but second baseman Raymond Miller won't simply play through his damaged meniscus (knee), after he got hurt throwing the ball in the April 12 Kings-Uruk-hai...

June 18, 2007

Mauhur the Looter Retires

DEAD MARSHES - Breaking news out of Dead Marshes today, as second baseman Mauhur the Looter has announced his retirement following an offseason injury. The team reported that Mauhur will stay on with the team as an assistant coach. According...

May 28, 2007

3B Miller Sticks with Uruk-hai

DEAD MARSHES - A contract extension between Raymond Miller and Dead Marshes was reached on September 16. Miller will continue to play for the Uruk-hai, and will pocket $72,080,000 over the next 4 years. Looking at his season stats, Miller...

May 17, 2007

MC's Premier Starter is Sandybanks

Dead Marshes Uruk-hai starter Todo Sandybanks has collected the Mordor Conference Pitcher of the Month award for a run of lights-out performances. "This town really appreciates it when you're going well," said Sandybanks. "They might boo you when you're getting...

April 26, 2007

Mauhur *the Looter out for 2 months

DEAD MARSHES - The Dead Marshes Uruk-hai will lose the services of second baseman Mauhur *the Looter after he sustained a fractured ankle while running the bases in today's game against the Dagorlad Disaster. When asked about the injury, he...

April 19, 2007

Kobur Hammermaker Gets Hit Number 2000

DEAD MARSHES - The day belonged to Kobur Hammermaker of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai as he became the latest player to reach the 2000-hit plateau. He did it in Dead Marshes's 10-3 win over Numenor on July 11. "It's a...

April 12, 2007

Dead Marshes Second Baseman Nets MC Award

The marque name in the Mordor Conference this week is Mauhur *the Looter of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai. The hot-hitting 34-year-old second baseman put up a .480 average and .581 on-base percentage, piling up 12 hits in 25 at-bats, 1...

April 09, 2007

Mordor Conference Selects Best Performer

Veteran Kobur Hammermaker had a great week at the plate for the Uruk-hai to capture the majority of votes for Player of the Week in the Mordor Conference. The Dead Marshes shortstop built a .478 average on the strength of...

March 05, 2007

Imcirion of Dead Marshes Raps MC Pitchers at Torrid .714 Pace, Takes Player of the Week Award

DEAD MARSHES - Callers to the Dead Marshes sports talk radio station can't stop singing the praises of Imcir Imcirion, who has been selected MC Player of the Week. Imcirion was in a comfort zone, finishing with a .714 average,...

February 05, 2007

Uruk-hai Declare Out of Free Agent Bidding

DEAD MARSHES - In an unusual announcement made today, Dead-Marshes Uruk-Hai GM, Lord Loki, declared that he will not be seeking any free-agents to sign with the team this off-season. "I think we had a good team this year, one...

When asked about long-time Uruk-Hair right fielder Fruron Elvand, Loki replied; "Well, I know Fruron wanted some time to think about his future, he's had a great career in this league already but if he decides to keep playing then we'd love to have him back, so that probably the only signing I would make."

This new "wait and see" approach seems to be a change of heart for Loki, who in the past has not hesitated to pull the trigger on signings and trades to bring big names to his team, such as Ban Arwodur, Ligor Fistslammer, Kobur Hammermaker, Wulo Wolfdragger and Mort Sauronson. The GM did address this, saying "I know I've made a bunch of moves in the past but with our payroll close to the cap as it is, I don't see us doing anything big this offseason." He then joked, "Of course, whether or not we make any trades really depends on who Bree's got on the block", referring to players, particularly Arwodur and Hammermaker who have had career seasons with the Uruk-Hai after being traded from the Bree Cheese.

January 16, 2007

Hammermaker headed for league record

DEAD MARSHES - Kobur Hammermaker is at .416 going into the final week of the seaon. He's hitting .444 for September and hit .579 last week. The league record for batting average is .403 by Curt Ballscarer in 2010, and...

January 04, 2007

Hammermaker from Uruk-hai Given Mordor Conference Player of the Week Accolades

Dead Marshes Uruk-hai shortstop Kobur Hammermaker walked away with the Mordor Conference Player of the Week Award today after putting up some impressive numbers over the past seven days. Hammermaker batted .483, driving in 7 runs and thumping 4 extra-base...

January 01, 2007

Dead Marshes Catcher Imcir Imcirion Captures Player of the Week Honor

Today the Mordor Conference announced its Player of the Week award winner: Dead Marshes Uruk-hai catcher Imcir Imcirion, who batted .435 with 3 home runs and 8 runs batted in. He amassed a .826 slugging percentage, thanks to 3 extra-base...

December 21, 2006

MC Pitcher of the Month Awarded to Todo Sandybanks of Dead Marshes

Todo Sandybanks was firing on all cylinders in the month of July. The Dead Marshes starter chalked up 5 wins against 1 loss and thoroughly dominated the opposition, piling up 45 strikeouts and posting an ERA of 1.57 en route...

November 06, 2006

Uruk-hai Field to host 2013 All-Star Game

DEAD MARSHES - Uruk-hai fans received the official word that their stadium would play host to the 2013 All-Star Game. This did not come as a surprise, since the determination of the home park for the mid-season exhibition is set...

October 03, 2006

Orebearer joins Uruk-hai

DEAD MARSHES - Misil Orebearer signed a $80 million contract with the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai today, joining a strong starting rotation that includes Todo Sandybanks and Nasil Oresplitter. Orebearer, 32, comes from the Numenor Kings, where he was the 5th...

The Uruk-Hai have been at the top of the league in pitching for the past two years thanks to Nasil Oresplitter and Todo Sandybanks, who will return to the rotation once again. The fourth starting spot is still undetermined; it is believed Loki is pursuing yet another marquee free-agent, Bugrim Spinner, but the team has declined comment on any potential offers.

The Uruk-Hai fanbase is reacting very positively the organization's offseason moves so far, after another quick playoff exit.

"I think it's great to see the owner committed to winning, and willing to spend money to see that through," said one fan. However, not all were so complimentary; "Orebearer's great, but this pitching and defense *%&^ is terrible for watching the game. Why would I pay for seats in the outfield if no one is going to hit a homerun? We haven't had one of our guys hit 30 for 5 years now!"

September 23, 2006

"The Claw" headed for Dead Marshes

DEAD MARSHES - The Uruk-hai announced a deal with Bree that will make Kobur Hammermaker a member of the Dead Marshes team. The Cheese star shortstop will be headed to the Mordor Conference for the first time in his career....

September 11, 2006

Disaster defeat Uruk-hai

DAGORLAD - For the first time since 2004, the Disaster are headed for the Mordor Conference finals. They defeated the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai in 5 games, taking the last one in a thrilling 2-1 pitching duel before 45,000 fans at...

September 08, 2006

Dead Marshes takes Orc Division

DEAD MARSHES - Going into the last week with a half game lead over Misty Mountain, the Uruk-hai needed to stay on top of their game to take their 2nd straight Orc Division title. They finished with 97 wins...

September 04, 2006

Bucklebury's Peatfingers wins Player of the Week award

Samwise Peatfingers from Bucklebury wins his 5th Player of the Week award for putting up the best numbers this week in the Shire Conference. Samwise went 13 for 26 (.500), while hitting 3 HR and collecting 9 RBI. Peatfingers has...

August 10, 2006

Bucklebury's Scarlett *II wins Player of the Week award

It's the 2nd time that the Shire Conference Player of the Week award goes to Bucklebury's pitcher Scarlett *II. Scarlett went 2-0 with an ERA of 2.45, while fanning 11 in 14.2 innings of work. She hurled a shutout as...

August 07, 2006

Minas Tirith's Strongbow wins Player of the Week award

The Player of the Week award in the Shire Conference goes to Minas Tirith's Sugnus Strongbow this time, as the first baseman displayed the best offensive perfomance in his league. Sugnus went 17 for 27 (.630), while hitting 1 HR...

June 29, 2006

Minas Tirith's Anvilworker wins Player of the Week award

The Shire Conference Player of the Week award goes to Binus Anvilworker, Minas Tirith's starting first baseman. In 21 at bats he hit .476 with 4 HR and 9 RBI. Anvilworker has hit for a .254 average this season. He...

Dead Marshes' Oresplitter out for 4-5 weeks

DEAD MARSHES - Dead Marshes is without its left-hander Nasil Oresplitter for at least 4-5 weeks. He injured himself while throwing a pitch to Isszava Eliondel in a game against Grey Havens on May 7. His face showed signs of...

May 19, 2006

Dead Marshes' Oresplitter named Gandalf Pitcher Award

The Shire Conference Gandalf Pitcher Award winner was announced today, with Lake Town's right-hander Geadriel Gamialf taking home the desired trophy. He certainly earned it, he struck fear into hitters all year long. This season Gamialf compiled an ERA of...

May 11, 2006

Uruk-hai win Orc Division in 1-game playoff!

DEAD MARSHES - For only the second time in league history, two teams were tied atop their division at the end of the regular season. The Dead Marshes Uruk-hai and Misty Mountain Hops finished on September 30 with 89-73 records....

May 01, 2006

Nasil Oresplitter fires 2-hitter against Isengard

DEAD MARSHES - Dead Marshes' lefty Nasil Oresplitter is a great pitcher. And he once again showed his stuff, blanking Isengard on September 10 on just 2 hits. It's his 2nd shutout this season, and the 7th time he has...

April 03, 2006

Player of the Week honors go to *Squishmasher and Arwodur

Rivendell's third baseman Loopy *Squishmasher had some reason to celebrate, as the league named him the Shire Conference Player of the Week. *Squishmasher helped his team with an average of .556 and 8 RBI in 27 at bats. Loopy has...

March 16, 2006

Palafox (RIV) and Elruborn (DM) win P.O.W. award

The Shire Conference Player of the Week award goes to Michale Palafox, Rivendell's starting leftfielder. Palafox helped his team with an average of .550 and 2 RBI in 20 at bats. He hit in every game this week and extended...

March 13, 2006

Mandicer and Sandybanks win Player of the Week award

The Player of the Week award in the Shire Conference goes to Bucklebury's Srukor Mandicer this time, as the catcher displayed the best offensive perfomance in his league. Srukor pounded opposing pitchers, hitting .500 with 2 HR and 8 RBI...

February 20, 2006

Season ending injury strikes Dead Marshes' Miller

DEAD MARSHES - Dead Marshes' shortstop Raymond Miller suffered a season ending injury on April 26 when he hurt himself firing a ball to first base. He collapsed in pain after the throw and was helped off the field. Miller...

January 25, 2006

Arwodur traded to Dead Marshes

BREE - Wasting no time after yet another disappointing playoff run, the Bree Cheese struck a deal with Dead Marshes to send their one-time ace, Ban Arwodur, to the Uruk-hai in exchange for reliever, Hofur Goldcutter. Arwodur, 34, is a...

January 16, 2006

Uruk-hai clinch Mordor Wild Card

DEAD MARSHES - With a little help from rival Grey Havens, the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai were guaranteed a spot in the playoffs, as the Stars defeated Misty Mountain, 7-6, on September 28. Dead Marshes is going to the Fellowship Series...

December 03, 2005

Dead Marshes-Minas Morgul Trade

DEAD MARSHES - The Uruk-hai have traded the injury-prone minor leaguer, Thomas Harkness, to the Slayers in exchange for Lignar Oathbane. Harkness, 23, has been plaqued by a series of injuries this season, starting with a sprained ankle in April,...

November 18, 2005

Dead Marshes' *the Looter severely injured

DEAD MARSHES - Dead Marshes' Mauhur *the Looter suffered a serious injury June 10 in a game against Isengard. *the Looter fell down while running the bases and couldn't get up without help. He will miss probably 6 weeks. Doctors...

November 15, 2005

Bucklebury's Peatfingers wins Player of the Week award

Bucklebury's leftfielder Samwise Peatfingers had some reason to celebrate, as the league named him the Shire Conference Player of the Week. He hit .556 with 10 RBI and slugged 1.222 in 18 at bats. Fruron Elvand wins his 6th Player...

November 07, 2005

Dead Marshes' Sandybanks out for 7 weeks

DEAD MARSHES - Dead Marshes' right-hander Todo Sandybanks suffered a severe injury on May 21 and will be out for at least 7 weeks. In the 5th of the game against Dunharrow he experienced pain in his throwing arm and...

October 20, 2005

Dead Marshes' Elvywyn wins Player of the Week award

The Shire Conference Player of the Week award goes to Relin Rockmaster, Old Forest's starting designated hitter. In 23 at bats he hit .565 with 3 HR and 6 RBI. It's the 5th time that the Mordor Conference Player of...

September 24, 2005

Dead Marshes press conference

DEAD MARSHES - Today, Dead Marshes management held a press conference at Uruk-Hai Field to discuss the future of the club and reflect on the season. The following are excerpts as recorded by the local media: Loki: Well, I think...

Loki:
I stepped down as manager? What?
*whispers among Loki and coaches, management*
Well, I'm the manager now. No story there.

Grishnakh, Pres. of Baseball Operations:
We're definitely very sorry about what happened to those players at Lake Town. We're glad non of our guys were there though. Never does well to associate with your enemy like that.

Loki:
Oh, we're always looking to improve. We probably had the two best relief pitchers in the league this year, but our bullpen isn't as deep as we'd like it to be. Two guys won't be able to carry the whole load for a team. And whoever is voting for the Gwaihir must be out of their damn minds. You can quote me on that, in fact you'd better.

Grishnakh:
We don't have any trades in the works right now, but we've put out feelers to some teams who we may be able to work out deals with. I think everyone wants to wait and see how the draft plays out, where free agents end up, before they make any big moves

Grishnakh:
I think we will have a very effective strategy for luring free agents this year. First and foremost is money. If that doesnt work, then I throw an axe and jsut barely miss them, but they'll know I only missed on purpose. Let's see who's mister tough guy now! No, I don't think there's any rule against that, why?

Loki:
Congratulations to Mauhur the Looter, he's had another great season and finally got recognized defensively. It's great to see an Orc doing well in this league, it jsut seems contaminated with Elves sometimes. Heck, our two best relievers are from some elven land I've never even heard of, much less looted. Portorico? Was that it?

Loki:
Well, thank you all for coming today. Maybe we'll be having another one of these soon.

August 22, 2005

Eond Elruborn punishes Grey Havens with four hits, cycle

DEAD MARSHES - Eond Elruborn hits 'em where they ain't. Grey Havens certainly agrees as Dead Marshes' leftfielder unloaded four hits and hitting for the cycle on August 9. A single in the 2nd off Glosil Foerender accounted for his...

August 01, 2005

Player of the Week honors go to Debuugger and Elvand

It's the 3rd time that the Shire Conference Player of the Week award goes to Lake Town's shortstop Silas Debuugger. He had an on base percentage of .600 and hit .500, while driving in 9 runs. Silas managed to drive...

July 25, 2005

Carrock's Rockbinder wins Player of the Week award

It's the 7th time that the Shire Conference Player of the Week award goes to Carrock's centerfielder Ralin Rockbinder. Ralin pounded opposing pitchers, hitting .455 with 4 HR and 9 RBI while slugging 1.045. His season features a batting average...

July 10, 2005

Uruk-hai deal Elfdrinker to Old Forest

DEAD MARSHES - The Uruk-hai have traded 2-time All-Star and Legolas outfielder, Higor Elfdrinker, to Old Forest. Elfdrinker, 34, is in the last year of his $11 million contract. He was the first player drafted by Dead Marshes in the...

July 07, 2005

Dead Marshes' Elruborn wins Player of the Week award

The Shire Conference Player of the Week award goes to Valin Graniteslinger, Mirkwood's starting first baseman. He had an on base percentage of .419 and hit .419, while driving in 13 runs. He got at least one hit each game...

6-hit performance by Dead Marshes' William Warner

GREY HAVENS - William Warner is among the best pure hitters in the game, but his 6 hit performance on May 11 seemed to surprise even himself. In the 2nd inning he belted a double off Born Long Cleve. A...

June 10, 2005

Uruk-hai sign Basaldua

DEAD MARSHES - Monroe "Titanium Horse" Basaldua, 27, signed a $300,000 1-year contract with Dead Marshes. Basaldua is a young starter who has not had much opportunity to pitch in the majors. He started with Old Forest in 2004 and...

June 07, 2005

Uruk-hai snag first free agent

DEAD MARSHES - In the twilight of his career, Ardaah "Mud Ugly" Anàldor, 35, has signed a short-term deal with Dead Marshes for $2 million. He is the first player to agree to terms in this 2009 off-season. Ardaah was...

June 03, 2005

Mirkwood, Dead Marshes make pair of trades

MIRKWOOD - The Marauders and the Uruk-hai agreed to a couple of deals that included Mirkwood obtaining yet another draft choice. In one, Dead Marshes sent infielder Arwauden Arwaun, 25, to Mirkwood for pitcher Boremir Boreagrin, 27. Arwaun was Old...

May 23, 2005

Dead Marshes' Mauhur the Looter out for 6 weeks

DEAD MARSHES - Dead Marshes' Mauhur the Looter suffered a serious injury September 28 in a game against Dagorlad. Mauhur fell down while running the bases and couldn't get up without help. He will miss probably 6 weeks and the...

May 19, 2005

Nasil Oresplitter pitches his 2nd shutout of the season

NUMENOR - Dead Marshes' Nasil Oresplitter overmatched the opposing hitters all day long on September 24. Numenor had no chance, collecting just 2 hits against the lefty. Oresplitter (17-8) struck out an astounding 14 and walked 2, throwing 67 of...

April 14, 2005

Guugor Earthjuggler out for 6 weeks

DEAD MARSHES - Dead Marshes is without its right-hander Guugor Earthjuggler for at least 6 weeks. He injured himself while throwing a pitch to Husil Grudgebinder in a game against Dol Guldur. His face showed signs of pain immediately after...

April 11, 2005

Legan Isauhir fires 2-hitter against Dol Guldur

DEAD MARSHES - Dead Marshes' right-hander Legan Isauhir is clearly one of the best pitchers in the game. Dol Guldur found out the hard way, getting just 2 hits. Isauhir 1st shutout this season was a masterpiece, as he was...

April 04, 2005

Raymond Miller unloads three times

DEAD MARSHES - Raymond Miller was in a groove on June 28, and the results spoke for themselves. He powered Dead Marshes to a 11-10 win over Numenor by homering three times. Number 1 in the 3rd inning, a shot...

December 20, 2004

Green Bodies in Dredged Marshes--Retiring Loki--Commissioner Points to Carrock

DEAD MARSHES – Loki scratches his head, looking over the latest body dredged from the marshes; he calls for the Commissioner. Tensions run high as members of the Uruk Hai organization make guesses as to what it is they are...

The bodies exhumed were neither human, nor elvish, nor dwarven, nor orcish—in fact, the bodies resemble no race found within Middle Earth at all, having greenish, scaly skin, no noses or features with which to smell, and long, tentacle-like appendages. Initial investigators to the scene, dispatched by the Laketown Gazette, have been dumbfounded. The question arises: where did these bodies come from? And who put them here?

Speculation is not easy to control. Before Uruk Hai owner Loki can issue a reassuring statement, the rumors begin flying.

“Mah guess isssit’s one o’ them Bree murder vik-tims we bin’ hearin’ about on that there fancy new talkie-ma-box,” says a voice in the crowd, in an accent not native to Middle Earth. It is difficult to trace where the comment came from, but the rumor is taken up quickly enough; soon the crowd is buzzing. Are these the bodies of missing Bree murder victims?

When Commissioner Rasreth arrives on the scene, accompanied by several Shirriffs from Buckland and Bree, the crowd falls into a hush. Not even a breath is heard as the confused and frightened citizens strain to hear Rasreth’s ruling. To their dismay, Rasreth orders the bodies removed “to a more appropriate setting for investigation,” inside The Fighting Uruk Hai offices. Under the urging of the Shirriffs, the crowd slowly disbands and filters home.

Inside the Uruk Hai Healers Hut, the Commissioner calls for back-up. A host of medical examiners of all races and walks of life descend upon the Healing Hut, ushered inside under the utmost secrecy. Only hours later do they emerge by the light of the waning moon, wearied and wary, to issue their conclusions.

All other reporters have given up the wait and have gone home to the roaring fires, warm dinners, and pleasant faces of their families; only I remain, well past second dinner and long since evening snack. I open my curly-leafed notebook, and start writing.

Commissioner Rasreth speaks first. “As you know, several strange beings have been found within the Marshes,” says Rasreth with a chuckle that jiggles his bowl-full-of-jolly tummy. “Of course, we are doing everything we can to identify these…creatures. Furthermore, we will keep the bodies in a safe locale until the …er, next of kin, can be contacted. If there are any kin to be contacted. And now, Loki, the owner of the Dead Marshes Uruk Hai will fill in any missing details and answer all questions.”

The reserved team owner seems to step forward reluctantly, shuffling a stack of papers, from which he begins to read. “At this time, Dead Marshes is declaring that these bodies were found inadvertently in the Marshes during the search for Durin's Gauntlet. This information had been previously withheld until the Commissioner and several medical authorities were given the chance to examine the bodies thoroughly,” Loki says, and then pauses—he reaches into a pocket for a handkerchief, and pats at the sweat on his brow. He clears his throat. “The Dead Marshes organization cannot provide any information concerning how the bodies ended up in the Marshes, or who put them there, although it is noted that several of the victims seem to have choked on pieces of an unidentifiable, now-decomposed item, likely a foodstuff. Commissioner Rasreth will offer more information on the foodstuff at this time.”

The Commissioner did not seem prepared to speak again, as Loki stepped aside, leaving Rasreth in the spotlight. “Um, well, fuh, um,” bumbled Rasreth, turning crimson from neck to pointy ears. He quickly gained composure, pointing to a Healer standing next to him. “Chief Medical Examiner Finduilus Tinuviel is positively the best elf to ask about the foodstuff,” said Rasreth, pulling the startled elf into the fore.

Finduilus Tinuviel spoke in a slow, grim tone. “The foodstuff, as mentioned by Loki, is now decomposed and unidentifiable.” The elf stepped back. Commissioner Rasreth fumbled with the chain of his pocket watch a moment, stroked his “goatee stylee” beard, and looked left, then right. When no one volunteered to step forward, the Commissioner grudgingly did so.

“This concludes our interview, and of course, we’ll issue any developments as they happen, so, until then, toodle-oo!” He spoke rapidly, already making for an exit. I stopped the Commissioner with one easy question.

“Did the mysterious foodstuff appear to be Bree cheese?”

The pained look on his face indicated that this was not what the Commissioner wanted to discuss. He sighed, before answering, “We just don’t know. It is decomposed beyond recognition.”

“And did the bodies seem to be…planted?”

Commissioner Rasreth blinked, looked around, and then smiled a toothy grin. “If you’re alleging that the mysterious green bodies are actually vegetables, then no, heh, heh, I’m afraid you are mistaken, Ms. Hardbottle. I assure you, this matter points to more than a Carrock.”

“Carrock? Do you mean ‘carrot’?”

Rasreth looked shady. “No further questions, please,” said the jolly half-elf, as he and his medical advisors spirited away, leaving Loki.

Turns out, the shy team manager had news of his own to tell. After shuffling the stack of papers once again, he read verbatim: “Team owner, manager and general manager Loki will be relinquishing his day-to-day managerial duties of the club to focus on business affairs. He will be replaced on an interim basis by Dead Marshes Bench Coach Regin the Smith. In a statement, Regin said ‘I appreciate the organization's recognition of my commitment to the players, and I hope we can continue with our winning ways so far this season. However, I am not interested in having this job permanently, and I suspect a new manager will be hired before the end of this season.’” Loki then folded the stack of papers very neatly, nodded politely, and disappeared into the offices of the Uruk Hai, before I could even ask the spritely little man if his resignation had anything to do with the mysterious green bodies.

Thus, the chaos in the Dead Marshes leaves us with nine mysterious beings and one retiring manager, the which Commissioner Rasreth inferred has something to do with “a Carrock.”

November 15, 2004

Rumor has Loki stepping down

DEAD MARSHES - Some close to the Dead Marshes owner say that he is considering hiring a manager for the team to replace himself, although he will definitely remain as the team owner and GM. Team officials skirted the...

November 01, 2004

Alliance Artifact May Be In Dead Marshes

by Lobelia Hardbottle, MESN DEAD MARSHES - In an uncharacteristic move, representatives of the Fighting Uruk Hai spoke to reporters about the team's plans to dredge the Dead Marshes. The traditionally reserved franchise announced that an item of great...

Lasil Ironmaster of the Uruk-Hai is keenly interested in discovering the gauntlet on behalf of the team. "As one of the last remaining descendents of Durin himself, I feel that the gauntlet should be entrusted to a member of the bloodline--such as myself. Furthermore, as the gauntlet has dwelled within the Dead Marshes for so long now, it should remain with the Dead Marshes when found." Ace pitcher Karin Grudgesmelter publicly agreed. "Lasil's right. When we find it, it's ours to keep." Reportedly, Grudgesmelter has sponsored a few unofficial digs for the gauntlet, herself, braving the perils of the marshes by moonlight. "It's important to us," said Grudgesmelter. "It's not just a good luck charm, but a symbol of the strength of dwarven-kind."

Loki revealed that the Uruk Hai are aware of other teams interested in the gauntlet. "There is some word that other Dwarven-associated teams, such as Moria and Bucklebury, may be interested in obtaining the gauntlet for themselves, though we feel strongly that the gauntlet should remain with us." The Uruk Hai plan to open a public museum to house the artifact once it is found.

August 02, 2004

Uruk-hai under new management

DEAD MARSHES - With her busy schedule, the owner of the Dead Marshes Uruk-hai, Pippa, has decided to sell the team. A buyer was immediately found in millionaire playboy, Loki. Loki takes over a team that, while slipping a...

November 13, 2003

Uruk-Hai Pick Up Merry Fellows

DEAD MARSHES - Old Forest is looking to unload salary it seems, as they traded away 4 players--including the $12 million Sisin Silvertwister--to Dead Marshes in exchange for minor league catcher Bernie Sanchez. Going to the Uruk-hai in the...