SOLONOR: My pet rock died. I overfed it.
CABLEMAN: I let mine get wet, and it became a Chia Pet.
SOLONOR: Then he started doing drugs. He was always stoned.
CABLEMAN: Mine joined a rock band. The Rolling Stones…
SOLONOR: After he got accidentally ground up, I nicknamed mine “Sandy.”
GRUMP: Mine was ground into cereal… Pebbles.
SOLONOR: I was always taking mine for granite…
Better still, on the way back to work I realized that this year’s birthday will make me the answer to life, the universe and everything! w00t!!