I’ve been doing this monthly list of The Top 20 Sites From Which Nice People Came To Look At The Monkey In The Window™ for almost a year. But who the heck are these people? Why do they link to me? Are we all of one hive mind? Do we all worship the same geek gods? Is there some secret handshake that’s only known to the Bloguminati involved here?
Actually, International Law has banned those listed here from ever getting together in one place. That much dork matter in one spot could kill us all.
To find out who’s who, I thought I’d get you to play a little game (and rip off pixeldiva). Rather than just spewing out links, I’ll give you three facts from each site’s “About Me” section… only one of them will be a lie. It’s up to you to spot the falsehood.
Brian Kane Online
A. Hates cauliflower.
B. Used to be called “Briny”.
C. Works hard to enforce the little-known plank in the Patriot Act that requires all citizens to worship Carrot Top.
A. Is a 007 fanatic.
B. Likes to cook.
C. Wants to work for Microsoft sales division. Badly.
A Small Victory
A. Loves comics.
B. Owns more action figures than me.
C. Celebrates the day I made my first comment on her blog (August 14, 2002) with a lavish disco party every year.
The Gamer’s Nook
A. Favorite band is Genesis.
B. Loves Italian food.
C. Devotes all his spare time to the re-elect Bush campaign.
A. Is his own cousin.
B. Also known as “khaki man”.
C. Thinks Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a work of the devil and would like to see it banned.
A. Likes to garden.
B. Is married to Satan.
C. Hates kids, dogs, cats and the letter Q. In that order. I’m not fond of Q, myself. Fricking slacker.
Ain’t Too Proud to Blog
A. Has a B.A. in History.
B. Loves Tex-Mex.
C. Hates the University of Oklahoma. Especially its football team.
Stupid Evil Bastard
A. Claims to be atheist.
B. Doesn’t have any piercings or tattoos.
C. Has proposed to Ann Coulter on several occassions, only to be rebuffed by her as “too right wing”.
Busy Mom Blog
A. Can juggle.
B. Plays the drums.
C. Has kicked the caffeine habit. Do NOT offer her a latte, if you know what’s good for you.
The Mighty Geek
A. Wrote the spot-on Credo of the Web Log Writer.
B. Will be marrying HoBiscuit in a few, short weeks.
C. Has the entire script of Star Wars, Episode IV, tattooed on his left buttock.
There is no “About Geekman”, so here is a link to All Things Bread.
UPDATE: Apparently there is an About Geekman. Bread just didn’t want me to find it.
A. Is most likely not of this Earth.
B. Has a fondness for caribou.
C. Likes to be referred to as “Cuddly Smurf”.
A. Likes critters.
B. Loves the show “24”.
C. Never, ever, swears.
There’s no “About Mel” section, so here’s her photobox instead.
A. Learned to fight from her grandfather.
B. Loves Disney World.
C. Ain’t gonna have nuthin’ to do with high-falootin’ types that insist on proper grammer none.
A. Plays the accordian.
B. Has never been married.
C. Thinks people who live in Hawaii are spoiled rotten.
A. Loves to fish.
B. Eloped with the Empress.
C. Hates lowbrow humor. Especially from kids.
A. Loves Gromit.
B. Has never mowed the lawn.
C. Thinks tiny little gnomes are working every day to destroy her mind… one brain cell at a time… oh, wait, that’s just me.
The Altered Blog
A. Recently bowled a 300 game.
B. Built his own deck.
C. Hates Jimmy Buffett with unbridled passion.
A. Is not a discontinued stop on the London Underground.
B. Likes to collect library fines.
C. Thinks Jeb Bush is a decent fellow who is doing a right nice job of governing the state.
A. Owns a classic convertible.
B. Is a lazy slacker with no about page.
C. Is a smoove operator.
There is no fricking “About MJ”, so here’s a link to her Desert Island Discs (the choices of which again make me think she’s got cameras in my house).
Glimpse of a Grrrl
A. Allergic to cats.
B. Saw The Who live.
C. Avoids helping people at all costs. Don’t even ask.
Inside Gretchen’s Head
A. A sucker for time-wasting ‘net games.
B. Bakes a mean pie.
C. Updates her blog regularly. “Real life.” Ha! Who needs it?
About Gretchen (Yes, I know she’s not there anymore. Don’t read the text, dummy. Look at the pictures! Yowsa!)
A. Is Canadian.
B. Biggest. Dork. Of Us All.
C. Hates coffee.
There is no “About Bill”. Just go there and you’ll know all you need to know. Trust me.
Yes, there are more than 20 this time. Lots of ties down near Number 18. Plus, I couldn’t stop myself!