Solonor's Inkwell

For years, one of my many geeky pursuits has been the acquisition of all of the available episodes of Doctor Who on DVD. Buying one or two per month, I knew it would take a while. So, to make sure that if I ever needed to quit, I’d at least have the best stories I could have gotten to that point, I decided to do what all geeks do–make a spreadsheet!

I wanted to rank every episode from best to worst using the accumulated votes of as many fans as possible. So, I went looking and found four sites that fit the bill:

• The Global Episode Opinion Survey (GEOS), which is a survey of over 90 current and classic genre TV shows, including everything from Alias to Xena: Warrior Princess.
• Doctor Who Dynamic Rankings, a site that has been surveying every Doctor Who episode, including spinoffs like Torchwood and the Sarah Jane Adventures since 1995.
• TV.com, an online community of TV watchers that includes pretty much every television show past or present.
• The Internet Movie Database (IMDb), a site that, since 1990, has invited internet users to rate and rank every movie and television program ever made.

I averaged together the ratings users gave to each story on these sites and then assigned each one a letter grade, A thru F, based on how close its score came to the top rated story (which has been “Blink” from David Tennant’s 2nd series for a long, long time).

Once I had my spreadsheet, I wasn’t content with a simple list of episodes to use in my DVD buying. I also came up with a document that lists, chronologically, all the episodes where something significant occurs (Doctor regenerates, companion enters or leaves, etc.) and all the grade “A” and “B” episodes.

I used the season titles and episode descriptions from Shannon Patrick Sullivan’s brilliant A Brief History of Time (Travel).

With the end of the Matt Smith era and yet another eight months to go before we see anymore new Who, I thought it was a good time to make this opus available to my fellow Whovians. If you want a copy, I have place a PDF on my site for download: Doctor Who Series Highlights

If you’re especially over-the-top geeky, I might even share the spreadsheet with you.

Counting down the 11 1 day to the 50th anniversary, here are my top 11 stories for each Doctor, continuing with 1 (William Hartnell).

This is the original. He’s grumpy and mysterious and not exactly nice, especially in the beginning. He’s cut off from his people and on the run with his granddaughter, Susan. When a pair of Susan’s teachers follow her home one night, the Doctor kidnaps them rather than have them alert the authorities. Thus, the adventures in space and time begin, and the teachers, Ian and Barbara, begin to turn the old alien into the hero we love today. (Again quite a few episodes are missing, so these are from the ones that remain.)

1. The Time Meddler
That is the dematerializing control, and that, over yonder, is the horizontal hold. Up there is the scanner; those are the doors; that is a chair with a panda on it. Sheer poetry, dear boy! Now please stop bothering me.
The Doctor, Vicki, and new companion Steven arrive on the coast of England on the eve of the Viking and Norman invasions in 1066. They find a mysterious monk who turns out to be another Time Lord, meddling in the affairs of the local people and hoping to change the course of history.

2. The Dalek Invasion of Earth
During all the years I’ve been taking care of you, you in return have been taking care of me. You are still my grandchild and always will be. But now, you’re a woman too. I want you to belong somewhere, to have roots of your own. With David you will be able to find those roots and live normally like any woman should do. Believe me, my dear, your future lies with David and not with a silly old buffer like me. One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. Goodbye, Susan. Goodbye, my dear.
The TARDIS makes it back to London, but it is the 22nd century. Dead bodies are floating in the river, and humans are scattered and live like rats in sewer tunnels. The Daleks have invaded and enslaved humans as robo-men. The Doctor, Susan, Ian and Barbara must fight the invasion and save the Earth.

3. The Aztecs
I made some cocoa and got engaged.
The TARDIS lands in Mexico during the time of the Aztecs, and Barbara is mistaken for a god. But can a god change history? Barbara, the history teacher, knows the savage brutality of Aztec human sacrifice and is determined to change it, just as the Doctor is determined that history must be preserved.

4. An Unearthly Child
Have you ever thought what it’s like to be wanderers in the Fourth Dimension? Have you? To be exiles? Susan and I are cut off from our own planet – without friends or protection. But one day we shall get back. Yes, one day…
The first episode of the first serial of Doctor Who is amazing. It sets up the entire story for the next 50 years. Everything is there right from the start: the bigger-on-the-inside TARDIS disguised as a police box, the fact that the TARDIS is alive, and the mysterious figure of the Doctor–the alien on the run from his people.

While on Earth in 1963, the Doctor and his granddaughter are hiding in I.M. Foreman’s junkyard at 76 Totter’s Lane. Susan has decided to attend the Coal Hill School, taking the name Susan Foreman. At school, two of her teachers–Ian Chesterton and Barbara Wright–become suspicious of the girl who seems to be so far advanced in some areas and yet so ignorant in others. They follow her home to the junkyard and are swept up by the Doctor in the TARDIS before they can report what they’ve seen to the authorities.

In the 2nd episode, the TARDIS gets stuck as a police box (to the dismay of the Doctor), as they land in the year 10,000 BC. Unfortunately, the rest of the serial is pretty boring (thus, it’s not #1).

5. The Gunfighters
He gave me a gun, he extracted my tooth. What more do you want?
The Doctor has a toothache. Fortunately, there’s a dentist in the town of Tombstone. His name is Doc Holliday. Too bad there’s a gang out to kill the doctor. If only they knew what he looked like. Maybe it’s this old man who calls himself “the Doctor”?

6. The Romans
Alright? Of course I’m alright, my child. You know, I am so constantly outwitting the opposition, I tend to forget the delights and satisfaction of the gentle art of fisticuffs.
As the time travelers relax in an empty villa outside Rome, the Doctor gets bored and sets off with Vicki. On the road, he is mistaken for a great lyre player and commanded to perform before Emperor Nero. When Ian and Barbara go out looking for the pair, they are captured. Ian becomes a galley slave, and Barbara is sold to Nero’s slave buyer. Ian escapes, but winds up in the gladiator ring. When the Doctor accidentally sets fire to Nero’s plans for the rebuilding of Rome, he gives the mad emperor an idea.

7. The Daleks
My dear child! Haven’t you realized what I’ve done? A few simple tools, a superior brain…
This is where the Doctor’s greatest enemies first appear. The TARDIS lands on Skaro, a planet devastated by war between the Kaleds and the Thals. The Kaleds have transformed themselves into killing machines called Daleks. Pretending that there is something wrong with the TARDIS so he can investigate, the Doctor leads his companions into the middle of the Dalek city.

8. The War Machines
Are you seriously telling me, sir, that you have invented a machine that can think? Hmm, I wonder.
The Doctor and Dodo arrive in London in 1966 where Professor Brett has created a self-aware computer, WOTAN, which has been linked to other computers around the world. WOTAN determines that humans are inferior and must be eliminated. It forces the creation of War Machines, heavily-armed mobile computers to take over the world. Professor Brett’s secretary, Polly, and her friend Ben join the Doctor to help defeat the menace.

9. The Reign of Terror
Our lives are important — at least to us — and as we see, so we learn… Our destiny is in the stars, so let’s go and search for it.
The TARDIS lands outside Paris in 1794, a bloody year in the period after the French Revolution. They soon become tangled in the plans for prisoners to escape the guillotine and with an English spy.

10. The Keys of Marinus
I don’t believe that man was made to be controlled by machines. Machines can make laws, but they can not preserve justice. Only human beings can do that.
The TARDIS arrives on the planet Marinus on an island of glass surrounded by a sea of acid. The travellers are forced by the elderly Arbitan to retrieve four of the five operating keys to a machine called the Conscience of Marinus, of which he is the keeper. These have been hidden in different locations around the planet to prevent them falling into the hands of the evil Yartek and his Voord warriors, who plan to seize the machine and use its originally benevolent mind-influencing power for their own sinister purposes.

11. The Tenth Planet
This old body of mine is wearing a bit thin.
This is the final episode for William Hartnell and the one that introduces the concept of regeneration. It is discovered that the Earth once had a twin planet, Mondas, that drifted away to the edge of space. Its inhabitants grew weak, so their scientists created spare parts for their bodies. Limbs and organs were slowly replaced by metal and plastic. Emotions were removed. The Cybermen were born. The TARDIS lands at the Snowcap space tracking station in Antarctica. A routine space mission starts going wrong. When the base personnel’s suspicions are roused, the Doctor informs them that the space capsule is being affected by the gravitational pull of another planet–a tenth planet in the Solar system. Thus, Cybermen arrive, and they are intent on the destruction of the Earth and the conversion of all humans into Cybermen. The Doctor, Ben, and Polly fight to save the world, but when it is done, the Doctor collapses, and the TARDIS wheezes into life.

Counting down the 11 2 days to the 50th anniversary, here are my top 11 stories for each Doctor, continuing with 2 (Patrick Troughton).

As experiments go, the idea of regeneration worked out pretty well thanks to Patrick Troughton. Not only did he take over a much-beloved character from the only name anyone would have associated with it, but he made the character completely his own. Troughton has been cited by almost every other actor to take on the role as their model for the Doctor. Unfortunately, a good chunk of his episodes are lost due to the policy of re-using tapes or simply destroying film after broadcast (no such thing as re-runs then). So, I’m only able to see and rank the eleven remaining stories.

1. The War Games
The Time Lords are an immensely civilised race. We can control our own environment – we can live forever, barring accidents and we have the secret of space/time travel.
The Doctor, Jamie, and Zoe land in the middle of a World War I battlefield and taken for German spies. Soon, however, they find that by passing through a strange fog, they are transported to the time of the Romans and also the American Civil War. A renegade Time Lord, the War Chief, is kidnapping soldiers and placing them, like chess pieces, in various zones to fight and die over and over. This prompts the Doctor to call upon his brother Time Lords for the first time since he ran away. This is the end of the 2nd Doctor’s run, where we say goodbye not only to Patrick Troughton and Jamie and Zoe but also to black-and-white, as Jon Pertwee’s series will begin in full color.

2. The Tomb of the Cybermen
The Doctor: You look very nice in that dress, Victoria.
Victoria: Thank you. Don’t you think it’s a bit…
The Doctor: A bit short? Oh, I shouldn’t worry about that. Look at Jamie’s.
The Doctor, Jamie, and Victoria arrive on the planet Telos to discover an archaeological team trying to blast open the doors to the lost tomb of the Cybermen. Need I say more?

3. The Invasion
I hate computers and refuse to be bullied by them!
The Doctor, Jamie, and Zoe investigate the disappearance of a scientist, and the trail leads to London and the headquarters of International Electromatics, run by Tobias Vaughn. It turns out that Vaughn plans to aid the invasion of the Cybermen in exchange for promised power. With the help of the newly formed United Nations Intelligence Task Force (UNIT) and Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart, the Doctor and friends must defeat an army of Cybermen and their incoming battle fleet.

4. The Web of Fear
[the TARDIS has landed, rather bumpily, in a London Underground railway tunnel]
Dr. Who: For the moment, we have eluded our captor. Look at the scanner, both of you.
Victoria: Well, where are we?
Dr. Who: I really don’t know, Victoria. Shall we go out and have a look.
Victoria: Now? Is it safe?
Dr. Who: [mischievously and airily] Oh, I shouldn’t think so for a moment! Jamie… I think we’re going to need torches.
The Great Intelligence returns, as Professor Travers (whom the Doctor met 30 years earlier in the Himalayas) has re-activated one of the Yeti robots, and now they are attacking through the London subway system. The Doctor and his companions join with the army and Colonel Lethbridge-Stewart to repel the invasion.

5. The Mind Robber
We’re nowhere. It’s as simple as that.
As the TARDIS is buried in lava, the Doctor attempts a desperate maneuver that takes them completely out of time and space. In an empty, white void, Jamie and Zoe are menaced by robots. As they try to flee back to the safety of the ship, it explodes, leaving Zoe clinging to the TARDIS console. When they revive, they find themselves in the Land of Fiction, presided over one who calls himself the Master (not that Master) who turns out to be a writer from 1926 and whose brain is being controlled by the Master Brain computer. The Master desperately wants to force the Doctor to take his place, and the crew encounter various fictional characters, including Rapunzel, Gulliver, and a uniorn.

6. The Ice Warriors
(The Doctor listens at a door.)
The Doctor: It sounds like electronic machinery. Like a computer. But there’s something wrong with its pitch.
Victoria: Oh, no. Now look, it might be dangerous. Now let’s leave it.
The Doctor: No.
Victoria: Doctor.
The Doctor: [Smiles mischievously] Let’s go in!
The TARDIS lands on Earth in the future as glaciers caused by mankind’s destruction of all plant life threaten to engulf the planet. Scientists excavating a nearby ice formation discover a creature in the ice, which turns out to be a Martian warrior. When he is thawed, they discover that he is part of a crashed ship, and he kidnaps Victoria in order to force the Doctor and the scientists to help him free his crew. Once that is done, the Ice Warriors determine to take over the planet for themselves.

7. The Seeds of Death
Your leader will be angry if you kill me… I’m a genius!
The TARDIS lands in late 21st century museum filled with remnants of spaceflight. Since the invention of the T-mat, which offers instant travel between points on Earth and the Moon, people have lost interest in space travel. After the Doctor, Jamie, and Zoe travel to the Moonbase, they discover that a squad of Ice Warriors has taken over and plan on using the T-mat network to launch an invasion of Earth by transporting deadly spores all around the planet, which will kill humans and block out the sun, producing a new ice age.

8. The Enemy of the World
People spend all their time making nice things and then other people come along and break them!
In 2018, a powerful man, known as Salamander, is being hailed as the “shopkeeper of the world” for his ability to relieve famine and predict natural disasters. It turns out that Salamander’s enemies keep disappearing, and there is a rebellion forming against him. When the TARDIS lands, the Doctor is captured by the rebels because he looks exactly like Salamander. They ask for his help to take down the would-be dictator.

9. The Moonbase
There are some corners of the universe which have bred the most terrible things. Things which act against everything we believe in. They must be fought.
The TARDIS arrives on the Moon in the year 2070 where a small weather station is fighting off a plague. Jamie falls sick and is rendered unconscious, leaving the Doctor, Ben, and Polly to fight off what really is a toxin delivered by the Cybermen.

10. The Krotons
Great jumping gobstoppers!
The TARDIS lands on the planet of the Gonds, where centuries before a Kroton ship crash landed. The Krotons lay dormant in a crystalline slurry, but use their mental powers to dominate the Gonds. When needed, they take the two brightest Gond students as “companions” (unwittingly being drained of their mental energy to feed the Krotons). When the Doctor and Zoe take the student test, their mental powers are strong enough to re-animate the Krotons.

11. The Dominators
An unintelligent enemy is far less dangerous than an intelligent one, Jamie. Just act stupid. Do you think you can manage that?
When two rogue Dominators and their robotic servant Quarks land on the peaceful planet Dulkis, planning to drop a radioactive seed into the planet’s core to refuel their spaceship, the Doctor, Jamie, and Zoe must attempt to inspire the pacifist Dulcians to resist.

Counting down the 11 3 days to the 50th anniversary, here are my top 11 stories for each Doctor, continuing with 3 (Jon Pertwee).

The serious Doctor with the fine hair and the Venusian akido ju-jitsu karate whatever. He liked gadgets and cars and was the James Bondiest of the Doctors.

1. Spearhead from Space
Liz Shaw: What are you a doctor *of*, by the way?
Doctor Who: Practically everything, my dear.
The newly regenerated Doctor arrives on Earth to begin his exile. The TARDIS will not function, and he soon is involved with UNIT and Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart and his new assistant, Liz Shaw, in stopping an invasion by the Nestene and their army of plastic Autons.

2. The Green Death
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: I never thought I’d have to fire in anger at a dratted caterpillar.
Mysterious deaths at a Welsh mining village bring in the Doctor and Jo Grant along with UNIT to investigate. A group of environmentalists, led by Professor Clifford Jones, is determined to stop the Global Chemicals petroleum factory from putting the miners out of business when giant slugs begin crawling to the surface.

3. Carnival of Monsters
Would you kindly stop referring to me as “the creature”, sir. Or I may well become exceedingly hostile!
The Doctor and Jo arrive on a cargo ship crossing the Indian Ocean. Soon a monster appears and things start repeating themselves. When a giant hand steals the TARDIS, it becomes apparent that they are stuck in a miniscope–an alien peepshow with different miniaturized environments which showman Vorg and his assistant Virna have brought to entertain the residents of Inter Minor.

4. The Silurians
My dear Miss Shaw, I never report myself anywhere, particularly not forthwith.
A nuclear research facilities tests have awoken the original inhabitants of Earth–the Silurians. The Doctor and Liz try to prevent a war between the humans and the Silurians, but the military on both sides have different plans.

5. Terror of the Autons
You know Jo, I sometimes think that military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
The Master arrives and signals the Nestene, awakening the plastic Autons, and begins to use them to take over the world. The Doctor and his new assistant, Jo Grant, must stop him.

6. Inferno
The Doctor: But I don’t exist in your world!
Brigade Leader: Then you won’t feel the bullets when we shoot you.
An experimental drilling project is designed to penetrate the Earth’s crust and release a previously untapped source of energy. However, the drill head starts to leak an oily, green liquid that transforms those who touch it into vicious primeval creatures with a craving for heat. The Doctor is accidentally transported by the partially repaired TARDIS control console into a parallel universe where the drilling project is at a more advanced stage. There, he meets the evil twins of the Brigadier and Liz who attempt to stop him as he works to save both universes.

7. The Time Warrior
A straight line may be the shortest distance between two points, but it is by no means the most interesting.
In the Middle Ages, a crashed Sontaran is trying to repair his spaceship by kidnaping scientists from the future and forcing them to help. The Doctor and UNIT investigate and journalist Sarah Jane Smith tags along.

8. The Sea Devils
I reversed the polarity of the neutron flow.
The Doctor and Jo visit the Master in a high security prison on an island off the coast of England. While there, they learn of mysterious ship disappearances, and the Doctor cannot resist investigating.

9. The Three Doctors
First Doctor: [As he appears on the TARDIS’s television screen] Ah, there you are! I seem to be stuck up here. [He examines the Second and Third Doctors.] So you’re my replacements. [They smile at him.] Humph. A dandy and a clown. [They appear insulted.] Have you done anything?
Second Doctor: Uh, well we’ve assessed the situation-
First Doctor: Just as I thought! [Chuckles] Nothing.
The first multi-Doctor story came during the 10th season of the show, and it featured the return of both Patrick Troughton and William Hartnell. Hartnell was very sick and near the end of his life, but he was determined to participate. He was inserted into the story via TV monitor, as his Doctor was trapped. The story involves Omega, one of the greatest Time Lords and the engineer of their ability to travel in time. While using the Hand of Omega, a stellar manipulator that could make stars go supernova, he vanished into a resulting black hole and into an anti-matter universe. The pocket of normal matter in which he resides only exists via the force of his will, and he wants to force the Doctor to take his place.

10. The Mind of Evil
People who talk about infallibility are usually on very shaky grounds.
The Doctor and Jo investigate a new machine that has been invented for humanely dealing with prisoners. Instead of execution, they have their evil tendencies sucked out and stored in the machine. The resulting man is quiet, compliant, and knows no evil. The Master decides to use the machine for his nefarious purposes, but the machine has a will of its own.

11. The Daemons
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Jenkins…chap with wings there, five rounds, rapid!
The Master, disguised as a rural vicar, summons a winged demon to terrorize the village.