Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Film

As much as I want it to not suck, I have serious doubts about the new Hitchhiker’s Guide movie. I know you can’t tell a lot from previews, but even though I have similar doubts about Star Wars III, at least the trailers have had me itching to see the thing. I get no such urges from H2G2. And after reading a horribly negative review by a Douglas Adams biographer, it’s only gotten worse. (There’s a spoiler-free version and a detailed, 4-part trilogy version. They are both just as depressing.)

Maybe it’s because I’m such a huge fan of the books. I’m trying not to be a book Nazi. I mean how could you possibly put all that wry humor and wordplay into a movie without simply having someone read the darn thing aloud? (I’d be tempted to pay for that, actually, but I’m sure normal humans wouldn’t. It wouldn’t exactly be a financial bonanza for a studio, ya know?)

I’m going to go see it with my peril-sensitive sunglasses (which are apparently not in the movie) at the ready. I’m just not looking forward to a world where the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal cannot be fooled by covering your head with a towel.

Hey! Maybe that will work with the movie, too!

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11 Responses to Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Film

  1. brandelion says:

    i feel for you, you disenfranchised fans of the Hitchhiker’s Guide.

    my daughter is just wildly mad to see it. she sees the following things in previews: robots, aliens, happy smiley faces, and a girl with brown hair–these add up to 100% Roo movie success, apparently. well, maybe if there were dinosaurs thrown in and a few thousand cute cuddly cats with big sad eyes a la Puss In Boots, plenty of fart jokes, and a cameo appearance by Harry Potter. yep, i think that would be her ultimate movie.

    hey, why not be a Book Nazi? i’ve made myself a very long, and bitter career out of it. it’s not so bad. we get to sit on top of our bloggy roosts and complain about the travesty that occurs when books go to Hollywood.

    sometimes, (in the case of HP fans), this includes complaining LOUDLY about the author’s latest offering of drivel. (it will NEVER be as good as PoA, again. *groan!*)

    join me, Solly. you’ll like it. that, and if you join now, you get this free t-shirt that says, “I Saw It, and It Sucked”

  2. geeky says:

    i’m scared too. i loved the books so much, and the more trailers i see, the more i think it’s going to suck. i mean, zaphod beeblebrox doesn’t really even have two heads in the movie! and like you, i really think they’re going to have a hard time putting the subtle wit and humor of the book into movie form. so far in the trailers it just looks like a bunch of slapstick.

    i’m going to hate it, but i’ll go see it anyway :\

  3. Don says:

    I’m going to see it; I wish I had the sunglasses; I will take my towel with me.

    If I had a beard I’d put a bone in it if I had a bone.

    I fear that this film could be a real sticky wicket.

    Time to bail.

  4. brandelion says:

    towel. i only get that part because of the text-adventure game.

    well, it is becoming ever more apparent: i need to read Hitchhiker’s Guide. Shasta has been after me to read them since high school. (oh, so many moons ago…)

  5. Speaker says:

    I for one have high hopes, the internet trailer with the voice of the guide is brilliant! it was very much in the tone of the actual guide entries.

    Also, you know it was a radio play FIRST right? and the book changed from the radio play? Douglas Adams himself said that HHG2G is organic and keeps changing. He wrote a script himself and ended up cutting out a lot, and the guy who finished the script ended up putting back a lot he cut because he thought he was too hard on it 🙂

    The cast is great, the budget’s right, i’ve seen good reviews of the script and a rough cut of the film from Moriarty.

    I for one can’t wait for this one! I’m hyped!

  6. Solonor says:

    It’s not the changes I mind, it’s the fact that it doesn’t look funny. I saw the trailer with the voice of the guide, and it was boring. That’s the reviewer’s main knock against it, as well, that they took out all the jokes.

    How can you go from:

    “I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
    “That’s the Display Department.”
    “With a torch.”
    “The lights had probably gone.”
    “So had the stairs.”
    “But you found the plans, didn’t you?”
    “Oh yes, they were ‘on display’ in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the leopard.'”

    to:

    “I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
    “But you found the plans, didn’t you?”

    And say it’s an improvement?

    I’m trying not to trash it before I see it, because I want it to be good, and I really like Sam Rockwell…. I’m just not having a good feeling about it right now.

  7. Speaker says:

    you didn’t find the trailer funny? i was rolling 😀

    that does tick me off about the Mr. Prosser conversation….but movies try to get things started as soon as possible…it’s the sad way of the business, i expected it b4 i heard about it.

  8. Speaker says:

    i’m reading the 4 part trilogy review and am becoming severely depressed…

  9. Les says:

    Tried pinging your entry with a link to my own (http://stupidevilbastard.com/index/seb/comments/early_review_of_hitchhikers_guide_to_the_galaxy_pronounces_it_major_suckage/), but for some reason your script seems to think it doesn’t exist.

    In summary, I’m very not happy about this.

  10. Brian says:

    Oh, let’s all just face facts — it’s going to suck — and get on with things. Didn’t you just know in your heart of hearts when you first heard about this movie that it was going to suck, that there was almost nothing else it could be but irredeemably bad?

  11. Morant C. says:

    Oh, now, mustn’t be a book nazi–remember, changes have to be made when you translate from one medium to another; the radio show differed in many ways from the books, as did the telly programme, nothing to get all upset about–

    What the… No “beware of the leopard?” And–my God, is that Zaphod? Where’s Zaphod’s other head? Where’s Zaphod’s arm for ski-boxing? No peril sensitive sunglasses?

    DIE, HERETICS! DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!

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