May 18, 2003

No, I don't mean that they have horns

I'm sitting here in my room afraid to turn off the light. Y'see, it's mating time for the ants near my house. My room is the love shack.

It's like a horror movie. The room has clean white walls when I'm ready to go to bed, then I turn off the light and try to go to sleep...that's when I hear a slight buzz and go turn on the light to see what it was.....suddenly there are winged ants all over my room. To give you an idea of just how many, consider this, I can hear them walking.

That's when we spray my room with enough chemicals to kill a couple horses (if they'd fit in my room) and I go sleep on the couch.

Damn horny ants.

Posted by Paul at May 18, 2003 11:30 PM
Comments

AHHHHHHH! AHHHHHH!! AHHHHH!!!

I normally don't have a problem with bugs, but that's FUCKING CREEPY AS HELL.

Posted by: Cyn on May 19, 2003 07:59 PM

You oughta hope they don't give away their Love Shack location to the love bugs....

Posted by: Ric The Schmuck on May 19, 2003 09:41 PM

As long as a pack of horny anteaters don't follow the ants to your room, you'll be relatively safe.

Posted by: DaProber on May 20, 2003 03:04 PM

Oh, gross! But, yes, love bugs would REALLY be the pits in the bug brothel there.

When she was about seven, my friend Rachel had an ant get stuck in her ear one night while she slept. She awoke to hear it walking in there, but couldn't get it out. She said it was as loud as drumbeats - you can imagine! Finally, her hysterical mother took her to the ER, where the doctor put some warm baby oil in her ear. After a little while, out came ant, earwax and all.

Dead-ant, dead-ant,
Dead-ant
Dead-ant dead-ant dead-ant dead-ant
Dead aaaaaaaaa-aaaaaa-aant

Sweet dreams, and keep that dirty little monkey safe. ;)

Posted by: gw on May 20, 2003 08:14 PM

absolutely terrifying.
you should make a film. take the ants out into the wilderness in some out of the way east-coast forest.

use only your parent's camcorder. convince a few friends to go along with. make sure you pack a maglite for that up-the-nostril lighting effect that is so popular in campfires around the country.

Posted by: branana muffin on May 20, 2003 10:55 PM

Well what you could do is, uhm, you know in an ant pile i think they are called, if you put water all the ants come out really fast. So fill your room with water and see what happens ;-P

Posted by: LadyPhage on May 24, 2003 09:47 AM
Post a comment