August 16, 2003

More for myself than anyone else

My whole life has been a lie.

I used...I used...

...preservatives

Posted by Paul at 12:30 AM | Comments (3)

August 13, 2003

Another note to myself and the world

John has mystical amish powers and claims to control all that is red.

Posted by Paul at 09:27 PM | Comments (8)

The Chicken Nazi

During physics class on the date of August 12, 2003 the Nazi formerly known as Jamal uttered
the phrase that could make his name even WEIRDER!

"I'm chicken dancers"

Therefore, we were forced to assume that he is made up of a matrix of dancing chickens.
He shall now and forever (until we think of some other freaky thing to call him) be known
as:

THE CHICKEN NAZI!

His mystical nazi powers, now coupled with the ability to be multiple dancing chickens could
allow him to easily take over the human race, however his nemesis...Ariel and his
mystical Jew/Ham Sandwich powers keep him in check.

For now...

The Chicken Nazi:

Real Name: Jamal

Background:
Jamal was born as a little girl to a poor Chinese family. When China sank into the sea his
family died, Jamal swam to the United States. There, he was adopted by a circus family in
Utah. Eventually, they made their way to Florida, with a little Dominican Republic thrown in for
flavor.

His possession by Claus Barbie was first noticed in tenth grade when he started
uncontrollably writing anti-semitic things on paper, walls, cats, and whatever else he could
get his hands on. Eventually, he learned to control the mystical nazi powers that were
given to him by Barbie.

Slightly less than a year later, Jamal was caught in a dachshund fire. As he lay among the
rubble the hundreds of miniature chickens he had raised from birth came out and surrounded
his mangled corpse. Claus Barbie, now uncontained, had to go somewhere to keep from slipping
into Nazi heaven. He decided that the chickens were as good a place as any and possessed
them. Being all those separate chickens was hard for Claus to control so he devised a plan
using the extensive knowledge of poultry matrices that made him famous.

Few know just how powerful Jamal has become by being made of dancing chickens. Not even
Jamal himself has figured it out, yet.

He is currently hungry.

Powers: Mystical abilities passed on by the spirit of a Nazi that possesses him.
Unknown powers related to being made of dancing chickens.

Weakness: Due to being made of a Chicken Dancing Matrix, if Jamal is poked hard enough one
will be knocked loose and he will crumble into hundreds of miniature dancing
chickens.

Special thanks to Evan and Jamal

Posted by Paul at 08:20 PM | Comments (2)