April 12, 2004

You sowed the stuff to do, now you hath reaped the procrastination

Let's see, what to write about...

Well, I both left for and came back from Canada ABOUT THREE WEEKS AGO, my life has been full of its usual writability, and my computer is in a coma.

Ah, I know! I'll write about Birdman!

Birdman, sure he may be the lamest super hero ever* but his existence poses the question:

Would a man/bird hybrid be born live, in an egg, or a freaky combination of both?

Continue reading "You sowed the stuff to do, now you hath reaped the procrastination"
Posted by Whiny the Elder at 12:15 PM | Comments (0)

January 15, 2004

Funny and Talented

Well, I'm a recording artist. I'm also a dumbass. But most of all, I'm a fool.

Today I got inspired and wrote a song. (Which turns out to be really easy if the lyrics don't mean anything.) I wanted to record it before its spirit left my head. And after much worry about my dad's data still being on the mixing board I consulted THE MANUAL.

THE MANUAL indicated to me that the board could hold more than one song. I didn't even think that we might not have enough space on the card.

When my father got home I thought he was going to disown me because we did, in fact, not have enough space on the card.

When we got home from Miracle (which was good for a sports movie), he and my mother listened to my song and much laughing did occur. So I guess I'm going to live to see another day.

The moral: Don't piss your dad off by making an entire night's work fruitless unless you're confident that you have talent like mine. (Yes, of course they can read sarcasm.)

Posted by Whiny the Elder at 11:27 PM | Comments (6)

January 08, 2004

Ha Ha, I'm so funny

What do you get if you separate a group of crows?

Continue reading "Ha Ha, I'm so funny"
Posted by Whiny the Elder at 08:13 AM | Comments (0)

January 03, 2004

Kick Ass in its many forms

Well, I've decided to write a belated review of The Last Samurai which I saw on the 31st/1st.

First and foremost, it kicks ass.
But what kind of ass does it kick and what does the actual kicking? Let's break it down, shall we?

Continue reading "Kick Ass in its many forms"
Posted by Whiny the Elder at 08:06 PM | Comments (0)

December 22, 2003

Admit it, you don't read this anyway

Hey kids! You're tired of those tired old super heros, aren't you? Of course you are!
Well, there are some awesome new heros that will own all the old ones in the face!

In a world where no one cares about Christmas...when people ignore the suffering of others...Three heros are ready to make them care!

Ignorance! Not doing something about him will be your doom.

Want! Watch out all you uncaring villains, her claws are sharp.

Bubba! With laser vision like his, this lesser known Dickens character doesn't need fame.

Together with their leader The Ghost of Christmas Present they're gonna clean up the streets of The City.

Posted by Whiny the Elder at 12:30 PM | Comments (0)

October 31, 2003

glass umbrella

horse yokel orange ingrate blathe moon quath norse worm butt zany words uranus looks trojan err pen emotion vole standing joking xylophone goonie boon awe car

Thus concludes my random word post for Ashley.

Oh yeah...monkey

Posted by Whiny the Elder at 10:57 PM | Comments (1)

October 11, 2003

Underworld or "More Blasphemy From WTE"

I just got back from finally seeing underworld.
The poster made me want to see it.
The trailer made me really want to see it.
The movie made baby Jesus cry.

My reasoning:
1. No villain should ever say "Time to die" if he is to be taken seriously
2. "Leave us"..."leave us"...."leave us"
3. Falling gets old...as awesome as the first one is, the same thing over and over again doesn't work as well.
4. Half-and-half is never as good as milk or cream. The whole "half-something and half-something else but stronger than both" thing is cliched.
5. Lichen is a fungus! (as far as I know) Is it that hard to add one syllable to make people not picture moss when you're talking about a killing machine?

The worst thing about it was that I thought it would be awesome.
I thought, "Wow, a world of darkness movie! That's gonna rule!"

"LEAVE US!"

Posted by Whiny the Elder at 01:20 AM | Comments (0)