Friday, September 5th, 2036
Fans hailed the signing of Nolak Fingertorturer today as the Bywater Bounders closer came to terms with the club.
Set to make $14,000,000 over the upcoming 5 years, Fingertorturer signed primarily out of loyalty to the organization, thrilling the most diehard supporters who think there isn’t much loyalty in a market driven by free agency.
Fingertorturer has 47 relief appearances this season with 21 saves. Fingertorturer has also compiled a 3-7 won-lost mark with a 3.80 ERA. In 45 innings he has fanned 48.