Saturday, September 20th, 2036
The Devils received bad news this morning. Pugnash Humanslurper will miss 5 weeks due to a broken collarbone. He sustained the injury in the Dunharrow-Weathertop game while being hit by a pitch. “I’m disappointed more than anything,” he told reporters later in the day. “You can’t help your team on the bench,” Humanslurper sighed. “I’ll do the rehab work and hope for a quick recovery.”
This year Humanslurper is batting .271 with 109 hits and 18 home runs. He has scored 60 times and has batted in 57 runs.