Monday, December 20th, 2038
Aruden Fistslammer took the Witch Kings up on their lucrative $11,700,000 deal today, ending speculation on which baseball metropolis he would call home next year.
But the signing came at too high a price, say longtime fans who think the club is too focused on players whose prime years have passed them by.
Fistslammer has put up a career 3.30 ERA and has 25 saves to his credit. He has crafted a 148-88 won-lost mark with 2197 strikeouts.