• October Referrer Madness

    OK, one more last thing…

    I almost forgot to do the monthly thank you to the The Top 20 Sites From Which Nice People Came To Look At The Monkey In The Window™. And since Les was all hyped up about being Number One, I felt I at least needed to let him know how badly he failed… (*giggle*).

    In honor of NaNoWriMo and in anticipation of both the arrival of the Two Towers DVD set and Return of the King, I’ve decided to follow the lead of this wonderful site: What if the Lord of the Rings had been written by someone else? (Thanks for the link, Grump.)

    So, here I present: What if the Lord of the Rings had been written by Solonor’s top 20 referring sites? Most of them suck, but hey, do your own damned list next time! ;p

    1. Reflective Reality – Boromir interrupted: “IMHO the only reason Microsoft… excuse me, ‘Mordor’… wants the Ring back is that it represents the one time they made a product that worked. I say we reverse engineer it, giving one to each member of the Internet community… er, Middle Earth…”
    2. A Small Victory – Addressing the Council, Gimli said: “While the Liberals are content with their ‘No War of the Ring’ marches and ‘all Sauron wants is to be loved’ attitude, we in the Fellowship are ready to kick some Mordor ass!”
    3. Brian Kane Online – “I have of late visited the fair cities of Gondor,” said Gandalf. “And in the tasting of their wine and of the eating of their victuals, I shall give a full account.”
    4. The Gamer’s Nook – How long did Bush Gandalf know about this threat from Mordor before he said anything? How many times have the wizards lied to us?
    5. Stupid Evil Bastard – “Pray to your gods,” the dark leader of the Southrons said. “Ha! Fooled you,” said Aragorn. “I don’t believe in God!”
    6. Random Ravings – As the Balrog plunged into the bottomless pit, Gandalf wearily turned to rejoin his comrades. Suddenly, the Game Master rolled a 20! A critical hit!
    7. Pickle Juice – “Dear Frodo,” Bilbo wrote. “Wish I could go, too. You betcha. Jealous-as-hell-ingly, Bilbo.”
    8. Ain’t Too Proud to Blog – “Sure, we’re down,” Gandalf said. “But we just have to come out in the second half and show some of that OU Middle Earth spirit!”
    9. .em – .tibboh a devil ereht dnuorg eht ni eloh a nI
    10. The Mighty Geek – Bilbo sat at his kitchen table, pondering his toast. Bread laughed heartily.
    11. Busy Mom – I don’t have time to write anything. So, here’s an animated gif, instead.
    12. Friday Fishwrap – Frodo didn’t have time to destroy any damned ring. He was busy checking out Legolas’ ass and playing all his downloaded MP3’s…
    13. The Altered Blog – The Yankees… um, Mordor LOSES! Mordor LOSES!
    14. Linkmeister – It is a little-known fact that Sauron’s first attempt at conquest was in a surfing contest off the Big Island. He lost to Greg Brady.
    15. swirlspice – Ed. note: I started to write something, but then I saw this: “The first person to bring up Lord of the Rings gets their ass kicked.” Better leave it be…
    16. Flablog – When those morons in Tallahasee Rivendell get done milking the Fellowship budget for all it’s worth, there won’t be any money left to go after Sauron!
    17. Dandelion Wine – “All we have to do is destroy the ring,” Frodo said. Well, um, like duh!
    18. Time For Your Meds
    19. – “Fuck Sauron! Fuck him and Saruman and all the fucking loser assholes of Mordor,” Legolas said.

    20. Duly Noded – I remember the first time Sauron tried to take over Middle Earth…
    21. Hey!… – So, here I am after toppling Saruman, defeating Sauron, running the bad guys out of the Shire and changing my blog layout, and I still don’t have any good tunes to listen to. Crap.
    Sunday, November 2nd, 2003 at 23:01
  • Sunday, November 2nd, 2003 at 23:08 | #1

    Heh, I still beat Les, and I didn’t try this month! Neener! Neener!

    See, being out of work means I don’t surf as much… or something like that.

  • Sunday, November 2nd, 2003 at 23:09 | #2

    Oh, and that LOTR as written by others site is a gas.

  • Monday, November 3rd, 2003 at 00:02 | #3

    Dammit. I lost to a Stupid, Evil Bastard. Well, at least I made the top ten, that’s got to be worth at LEAST a tin star or something.

    What?! Not even a lint sculpture? Cheapskate.

  • Monday, November 3rd, 2003 at 00:27 | #4

    HAHA! Back in the top 20 where I belong. I guess the stalking worked 😉

  • Monday, November 3rd, 2003 at 00:52 | #5

    “A little-known fact?” I thought everyone knew that!

  • Monday, November 3rd, 2003 at 01:03 | #6

    LOTR madness

    I saw this over at Solonor’s place, and it needs whatever further dissemination I can give it. What if The Lord of the Rings had been written by someone other than J.R.R. Tolkien? Suggested authors include Douglas Adams, Poe, Lewis…

  • Monday, November 3rd, 2003 at 07:21 | #7

    Movin’ on up…

  • Monday, November 3rd, 2003 at 07:22 | #8

    Oh shit! I forgot all about my campaign to be number one on this list. DAMN MY ADHD! Well, at least I broke the top 5 which I think is an improvement over last month.

    Note to self: Don’t forget to keep up with goals of referrer list domination in the future.

  • Monday, November 3rd, 2003 at 15:48 | #9


  • Monday, November 3rd, 2003 at 21:31 | #10

    And what a fine Elvin ass it is too… er if you were into Elves, which I’m not, except for Arwen… She can come visit my shire anytime if’n you know what I’m talking about.. Uh-huh.

  • Tuesday, November 4th, 2003 at 17:20 | #11

    This is not to say that I haven’t been reading you or anything, but damned if I know how I manage to send you so many referrals. Unless maybe by the time you get down to #15, it’s really only about 10 hits.

    I think I owe you an ass-whooping, but I guess it’ll have to wait until next month.

  • Tuesday, November 4th, 2003 at 18:31 | #12

    Wow — top 10 and I don’t even exist anymore. I rule! 😉

  • Wednesday, November 5th, 2003 at 14:14 | #13

    See? Now you must read my NaNoWriMo novel in progress.


  • Wednesday, November 5th, 2003 at 14:20 | #14

    BRAIN GUY! How rude! Plugging your novel in Solly’s comments! I can’t believe you’d sink that low!
    (pss…. http://www.geekgasm.net/touched/ )

  • Thursday, November 6th, 2003 at 02:36 | #15

    I was about to say Mordor/Yankees same thing. But I think Mordor is still a couple of notches above the Yankees.

  • Thursday, November 6th, 2003 at 22:13 | #16

    holy fishpaste! i think Sol’s actually serious about this “not blogging” thing. it’s been dyas, y’all. and here i thought it was all an elaborate hoax.

  • Ric The Schmuck
    Saturday, November 8th, 2003 at 07:04 | #17

    i bet he’s lurking about, watching us all, twisting in the wind, laughing maniacally….

  • Monday, November 10th, 2003 at 13:06 | #18

    Hey! You! You’re not allowed to go away just when I get back! That’s not nice.

    I haven’t been blog-reading the past month (this whole moving thing takes a lot of time!) I’m starting to get settled and trying to work my way through my reads. So Hi! I’m back! Now where’d you go?

  • Monday, November 10th, 2003 at 14:19 | #19

    such a pity. *shakes head* just a sad example of what happens when blog and nanoinsanity collide.

    take heart, kids. don’t let this happen to YOU.

  • Monday, November 10th, 2003 at 14:23 | #20

    Priceless! Love it! Love you, too, sweet Solonor.

Comments are closed.