Monday, September 2nd , 2052
Dead Marshes sports fans can’t stop singing the praises of Ugak *the Masher, who has been selected the Mordor Conference Player of the Week.
*the Masher was in a comfort zone all week, finishing with a .375 average (9-for-24), 8 RBIs and 6 home runs.
This season, *the Masher is batting .358 with 163 hits, 38 home runs, 89 RBIs, 77 walks, .455 OBP and has scored 93 runs. He has played in 125 games.