Praise [ INSERT DEITY HERE ]

Looks like those ritual goat sacrificies Whiny was doing in his room worked. I still think bringing in the Tibetan feces-flinging monkeys for “moral support” was too much, but Houston, we have cable modem! (Sorry, Ric. No Schmuck’s Ink Well for you. Back into your tag board, now.)

Apparently, it was the cable company, not the modem. For when I got home from work this evening, viola!* We’re back on the air! Dancing and singing and exclamation points abound!!!

Now to get caught up. There’s a House Warming to be done. And a Carnival to attend. A baseball league needs updating, and I haven’t even been around to see what else is going on in the blogosphere!

W-frickin’-00t!

Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything | 13 Comments

Pathetisad

Two things:

1. I’m so addicted to you people that I am reading your blogs at a library Internet terminal while my cable modem is down.

2. About half of you are blocked by the library system for having objectionable content. See what being a pottymouth will get ya?

Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything | 17 Comments

Bring out yer dead! Oh, wait, that’s me…

Dead cable modem. Waaaa!
No possibility of repair until Saturday. Waaaa!
Only Internet connection at work. Waaaa!
Not supposed to surf at work. Waaaa!

FYI for the baseball league: I am running the games, and I will attempt to sneak some sort of update out. I would have done it today, but I was too overwrought to think straight.

Shhh! What’s that? I think they’re coming!

Signing off now… waaaa!

Posted in Yo! Listen Up! | 7 Comments

Voting Update

In case you haven’t kept up with the torrid pace that I’ve been at in putting out new years for Solonor’s Oscar Do-Overs (57 entries in a year… not really as bad as I thought, actually), here are the winners so far:

Continue reading

Posted in The Big Screen | 3 Comments

If it’s Father’s Day, I must be in Cuba

My spouse and offspring are extremely picky eaters. I, on the other hand, love to try new cuisines and will eat just about anything put in front of me. (This trait does have its down side. I’m now required by law to stop at the truck scales on the highway.) But as a treat, each Father’s Day (or my birthday, since they’re within a couple of weeks of each other) I get to pick whatever “whacky” restaurant I desire. One year it was German. The next it was Japanese. The deal is they will go along without complaint.

This year, not only were there no complaints, but my darling Mrs chose the restaurant! We have been meaning to try Don Pepe’s Restaurante Cubano for about 9 years. So, that was the Father’s Day restaurante of choice.

It was fabulous.

Don Pepe’s is in one of those side strip malls next to a (now abandoned) K-Mart. It’s very unassuming on the outside. There are no windows through which to sneak a peak. So, we didn’t know what we were in for. But stepping through their old-style wooden door was like walking into a beautiful Carribean evening. It was decorated as a night-time plaza, with Latin music and laughter. They have different entertainment each night, and tonight we were treated to a pair of fantastic Flamenco dancers.

The staff was incredibly friendly. Our waiter was one of those magical guys that you never see, but are never waiting on to show up. Drinks and salads seemed to appear on the table from out of nowhere. The place just felt like you could hang out there forever.

And the food… I had a combo plate that had a little of everything: Boliche, lechon Classico, pollo mojo rico, congri, a Cuban tamale and maduros. Venita had the arroz con pollo. Then, for dessert, she had “Sunset in Havana” (biscocho de tres leches covered with hot home-made chocolate sauce, whipping cream, and toasted almonds), and I got cheese flan (which I’d never heard of, but was so incredibly good).

Mmmmm… Cuuuuuuba…

Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything | 8 Comments

King of Jesters and Jester to Kings

I finally got around to doing another year in Solonor’s Oscar Do-Overs. 1956 has one of my favorite movies of all-time: The Court Jester. It’s got everything: Danny Kaye, sword fights, silly wordplay (“The flagon with the dragon holds the pellet with the poison…”), music and Technicolor. I love it.

“The Ten Commandments,” “The King and I,” “The Searchers” and (of course) “Forbidden Planet” are none-too-shabby either!

Go and vote for your favorite movie of 1956, then check out the other films from before that. I’ll start working on 1957. At this rate, I’ll be caught up to 2003 by the year 2050…

Posted in Blogcritics, The Big Screen | 2 Comments

What the…?


How much of a pottymouth are you?

It’s true! I almost never swear.

It’s not that I was beaten as a child for saying a naughty word. I’m definitely not trying to be a saint. I don’t have a problem when other people do it. And I can use it for effect. It just doesn’t come naturally to me. Yesterday, I pretended it was no big deal to type all those f***’s (gah! I was even hesitating when I typed THAT!), but it just embarrasses the hell out of me (“hell” is the only one that works properly for me).

So, there you have it. My dirty little secret. And the reason I use those stupid frickin’ bite me’s and fricks all the time.

Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything | 8 Comments

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

They tricked me! I thought they said we were going to see “Finding Emo“. But it didn’t have anything to do with the strange comic. It was all about a stupid fish.

I watched it anyway. What was I supposed to do? Chew through the arm restraints, kick five kids in the head, run screaming out of the theater and wake up smelling of gin and rotting garbage in the back alley of some sleazy bar? Sure it’s a good plan, but where am I going to find a sleazy bar in Orlando?? Not so full of big ideas now, are ya? Just shut up and watch the movie, dork.

All-in-all, it was a pretty good film. Ellen DeGeneres’ character, Dory, was hilarious, and the Pixar animation crew do unbelievable stuff. The story was straightforward enough – overprotective fish father loses fish son, spends the rest of the movie finding him. Yawn. The humor comes in the situations the main characters find themselves in and in their interplay. Albert Brooks as the dad is appropriately paranoid and dad-like. And there are some nifty performances from people like Willem Dafoe. Overall, it was 4 fins up.

Now, can someone untie me, please?

Posted in Blogcritics, The Big Screen | 2 Comments

Because She’s Such A Whiner

Solonor’s Aortal Site of the Week is Time For Your Meds! Which proves several things about me and my special blogging oeuvre:

  • I enjoy creative, funny writing from people who pretend to like me.
  • I enjoy serious, socially relevant writing from people with the means to express their opinions eloquently.
  • If you say “fuck” enough times in a comment, you’ll get your own spot at the top of my page. (Please don’t turn it into a competition.)
  • I am not above using words like oeuvre to describe my particular load of crap.
Posted in Aortal | 9 Comments

Miss Jean Louise, stand up, your father’s passin’.

Well, I’m standin’ in line in the rain to see a movie starring Gregory Peck,
Yeah, but you know it’s not the one that I had in mind.
He’s got a new one out now, I don’t even know what it’s about
But I’ll see him in anything so I’ll stand in line.

In spite of my earlier snottitude about the Dead Pool, Gregory Peck and David Brinkley were two great men, worthy of respect. I don’t see too many actors of Peck’s integrity or newsmen of Brinkley’s around today.

Good night, David.

Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything | Comments Off on Miss Jean Louise, stand up, your father’s passin’.