Hey! Didja know there’s more than just that terr’rist and the old guy running for something or other in November? It’s true! There’s also like a bazillion state ballot initiatives, constitutional amendments, referendums and demands for pie. Mmm…pie…
Wanna know which ones are in your state? (This assumes you live in a state that gets no TV reception and have not been bombarded senseless by Jim and Jane “Real Concerned Citizen”™ harping on how putting your inky black X or pressing your Big Mac-stained forefinger on a peril-sensitive touch screen in just the right spot (or not) will end civilization as we know it!)
Now, all I have to do is remember my middle school geography, and after clicking on two or three places that might be my state, voila! I now know that Florida has six ballot initiatives left out of the original nine (three were pulled off by courts).
Amendment 1 would remove language from the constitution that allows the Legislature to prohibit aliens from owning property. Stupid Martians. Always wanting a piece of the Everglades. I vote NO!
Amendment 2 would ban same-sex marriage. Actually, it says “no legal union that is treated as marriage or the substantial equivalent thereof shall be valid or recognized”…meaning even non-same sex partners who are legally shacking up would lose their benefits. Hey, just because they’re not the same sex, it doesn’t mean they’re not gay. I vote YES!
Amendment 3 would make it such that property improvements wouldn’t affect its taxable value. That sounds dumb, but when you live in a really windy state (where they call the wind Hurricane Mariah and stuff), encouraging people to add hurricane and flood protection is probably a smart idea. Of course, that also wouldn’t stop me from adding some bling to my 115-room mansion in West Palm and dodging the tax increase. Woo! I vote YES!
Amendment 4 would make land that is under perpetual conservation protection exempt from property taxes. Damned hippies. I vote NO!
Amendment 6 would make waterfront land be assessed for taxes based upon its current use. So, just because I use my beach front property for a members-only casino and strip club, I gotta pay more taxes than a public dock or fishing zone? I vote NO!
Amendment 8 would require the Legislature to authorize local option sales tax levies to go for community colleges. Yes, that’s right. Community colleges. Like we need more of those. I vote NO!
So, you see this is a great way to figure out ahead of time where to make your mark. It might even make it through the machines all the way to the giant head that makes all our decisions for us. Who knows? You might even make it change its mind on something!