50 Greatest Cartoons

TV Guide has come up with another useless list–though it’s nothing compared to those moronic things from E! (the 25 Funniest People with no Carol Burnett?? puh-leeze!). It is the TV Guide 50 Greatest Cartoons.

First of all, the big questions are:

Why did they choose to pair certain characters together (Boris and Natasha, Tom and Jerry), yet left members of ensemble shows, like “King of the Hill” and “The Simpsons” with separate entries?

Why is Homer Simpson a separate entry, when Bart and Lisa are paired?

Why lump superheroes like Superman and Wonder Woman in here with movie cartoons, like Betty Boop, and TV toons, like Fat Albert?

And, at number 34, who the hell is “Bill”?

The ranking is really screwy. They never tell you who did it or what criteria was used. It can’t be world impact, because Mickey Mouse is down at #19. It can’t be box office, because Gerald McBoing-Boing(?) is above Scooby Doo. It’s very arbitrary.

#1 – Bugs Bunny (absolutely, no question…greatest ever)
#2 – Homer Simpson (right up there)
#3 – Rocky and Bullwinkle (not #3, definitely Top 10)
#4 – Beavis and Butthead (ok)
#5 – The Grinch (not Top 10…it’s a one-shot cartoon…great though it is)
#6 – Fred and Barney (ok)
#7 – Angelica Pickles (WHAT?? maybe top 50…NOT above Charlie Brown!)
#8 – Charlie Brown and Snoopy (they could be separate entries…as could Linus and Lucy…should be just above Bugs for influence, probably lower for box office…definitely Top 3)
#9 – SpongeBob SquarePants (very funny…big box office now…not Top 10 of all-time)
#10 – Cartman (ditto)
#11 – Bart and Lisa Simpson (probably should just be Bart, but I’m ok with the pairing…but why split the Simpsons at all?)
#12 – Fat Albert (big part of the 70’s…not Top 10)
#13 – The Powerpuff Girls (ahem)
#14 – Daffy Duck (should be up in the Top 10)
#15 – Pikachu (BIG box office…influence will disappear soon)
#16 – Gumby (historically significant BUT HE’S NOT A CARTOON!)
#17 – Betty Boop (big box office in her day)
#18 – Top Cat (generic cartoon from 40 years ago…maaaaybe Top 50)
#19 – Mickey Mouse (Not a huge Mickey fan, but how could you even consider such a cultural icon in anything but the Top 5?)
#20 – Popeye (definitely Top 10)
#21 – Gerald McBoing-Boing (WHAT?? A one-shot Dr. Seuss toon that I had to look up to see who he was!)
#22 – Scooby-Doo (I hate Scooby Doo, but he definitely belongs in the Top 10)
#23 – Underdog (I love Underdog…Top 15)
#24 – Josie and the Pussycats (WHAT?? How can they even be considered, yet no Archies? Jughead alone should be in the Top 30)
#25 – Heckle and Jeckle (ehh)
#26 – Arthur (whatever)
#27 – Winnie the Pooh (again, Top 10)
#28 – Felix the Cat (Top 15)
#29 – Mr. Magoo (fine)
#30 – George of the Jungle (love him)
#31 – Ren and Stimpy (started the whole “new-style” cartoon craze, Top 10)
#32 – Tom Terrific (Remember him from Captain Kangaroo? I barely did.)
#33 – Tweety and Sylvester (Top 20)
#34 – Bill (WHO THE HELL IS BILL??)
#35 – Space Ghost (loved him as a kid…sick of him as a kitsch comedian)
#36 – Yogi Bear and Boo-Boo (Top 20)
#37 – Mighty Mouse (my first favorite superhero!)
#38 – Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner (Top 20)
#39 – Superman (shouldn’t be on this list…but if he is, he’s got to be near the top for influence)
#40 – Batman (ditto)
#41 – Daria (very funny…not Top 50)
#42 – Wonder Woman (same as Superman…and more so)
#43 – Donald Duck (should be higher)
#44 – Alvin (should be higher)
#45 – Boris and Natasha (love ’em)
#46 – Woody Woodpecker
#47 – Porky Pig
#48 – Bobby Hill (what??)
#49 – Speed Racer
#50 – Tom and Jerry

OK, so I’m going to have to re-rank these things…but where is Casper? Invader Zim? Droopy Dog? Pink Panther? Marvin Martian? Foghorn Leghorn? Yosemite Sam? Taz? Smurfs? TMNT? Animaniacs? Pinky and the Brain? Speedy Gonzalez? Jetsons? Johnny Quest? Freakazoid? If we’re doing Dr. Seuss, where’s Cat in the Hat? If claymation (Gumby), why not Wallace and Grommit? And if we’re going with Superman, where is Spider-Man? X-Men?

Actually, the more I think about it, the more this list sucks! AND WHO THE HELL IS BILL?????