If you suddenly find yourself impaired by alcohol, prevent any social awkwardness by informing all those present that you profoundly love them, and that you never get this drunk.
Once you get married and have kids, stop drinking tons of whiskey and switch to drinking tons of wine.
Sure, you may think these are obvious life lessons, but amazingly not everyone knows these things. That’s why you need to check out The Onion – Drinking Responsibly During The Holidays.
[ via Bill ]