April Winchell is God

I think I’ve said before that when I get stuck for something interesting to post, I run screaming to April Winchell’s LiNkApAl00zA. (You can thank one of her contributors for that “Big John, Little John” thing.) *shudder*

But for whatever reason, I never wandered past the kooky links list until tonight. Tonight, I discovered April Winchell: Multimedia.

I am April’s worship monkey.

If you haven’t already clicked on the link and begun to experience the joys of April, here are some of the highlights of the multimedia collection:

Birthday Songs – “birthday songs that will make you wish you’d never been born” like “Happy Birthday from The Smurfs” (a hip-hop rap version, no less)

Corporate Music – “music by companies for companies” like “Keep Your Restrooms Clean, Men” from the Red Lion Gasoline Company and “What is this thing called Amway?”

KFC Employee Training Tapes – like “Bacteria” (Larry and Gary chat about salmonella) and “The Talking Chicken” (Darlene the Chicken wishes she were good enough to be killed and battered).

Those Darn Homos! – “Bizarre propaganda from the 50’s”

TV Stars Who Insist On Singing – Includes everyone from Richard Dawson, Telly Savalas, Jerry Springer and, of course, Leonard Nimoy.

Beatles Covers – by everyone from The Chipmunks to The Brady Bunch

Stairway to Heaven – an entire section devoted to “Stairway to Heaven” covers… there’s one by Dolly Parton… and another by Pat Boone! *faint*

Chicken Songs – “I don’t know why, all right?”

Terrifying Christian Recordings – “Amazing Grace” by Donald Duck?

And much, much, much more!

If you’re still reading this, you obviously have more willpower than I gave you credit for. Your resistance to strange and wonderful recordings is strong. I respect that. (Not really. I’m just trying to butter you up for some reason, even though you are obviously a person who does not appreciate the finer things in life.)