Can I get some advice, please?

Let’s say there’s a really cool movie that you want to see really badly.

In fact, let’s say you’ve already bought tickets for you and your family for Friday night.

Let’s say that you went to lunch today and found out that one of your geeky friends* has a non-geeky spouse that refuses to go see the aforementioned really cool movie.

In fact, let’s say that since you both have the day off from work on Friday, you selflessly agreed to go with him to the morning showing.

Let’s say you called your own spouse (who, while not exactly geeky to the level of dweebhood that you have fought so hard to attain, still maintains an associate membership in the geek union) and told her you’d see the now-thrice-mentioned movie before her.

So, what do you think?

Orchids or lilies for the funeral?

*Yeah, I’m all about shifting blame, yo. She didn’t buy it anyway.
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16 Responses to Can I get some advice, please?

  1. Solonor says:

    Did I forget to mention that we’ll be going to the movie theater right next to the bookstore where she works? So, I’ll literally be watching the movie above her head while she deals with holiday shoppers?

    So dead…

  2. erin says:

    sounds like this calls for BOTH orchids and lilies 🙂

  3. Susan says:

    and a nice bottle of whine – I mean Wine!

  4. Hey Lisa says:

    What were you thinking?!? Maybe throw in some nice roses with those orchids and lilies?

  5. robyn says:

    I’m thinking it’s not too late to join Witness Protection…

  6. theresa says:

    Something tells me your wife will mysteriously fall in on Friday…

  7. kat says:

    You are a bad bad man. If you blab to her about the movie and ANY scenes or effects until she’s seen it, by decree of the thou shalt not spoil movies for loved ones, she will have the right to kill you.

  8. Sherri says:

    I’m thinking diamonds. Really. White ones that you have to sacrifice things you really want to buy. I’d toss them in before entering the house.

  9. Brian says:

    Oh, you Trekkies crack me up!! 🙂

  10. Lambchop says:


    Have you learned NOTHING? You know how they say that SOME secrets in a marriage are healthy and good and necessary? This was one of those times!

    Then, when you confess your indiscretion afterward, she’s already seen the movie, so she’s happy, you can appease her with whatever props are required for the occasion – flowers, etc. – and most important, you don’t have to put up with the nasty looks she’s going to shoot you every time you blurt out “Oh man – wait till you see this next part – it totally rocks!”

    Oh – and having seen it already, you can offer to go out mid-movie and buy her popcorn, chocolate and soda and it appears to be the most selfless sacrifice you can possibly make for her! The fact that all brownie points accumulated will be rescinded later doesn’t matter – For 4 hours, she thinks you’re the best husband in the world!



  11. Ric The Schmuck says:

    I never knew you to be so brave.
    Gin. BIG bottle of gin. Just be careful what she does as the bottle becomes empty, such that it doesn’t come to rest along side your cranium.

  12. It was nice knowing you!

  13. picklejuice says:

    This post even hurt *me*.

    Damn your eyes, Sollie. You’re not the man I thought you were.

    You should have offered to go with your friend *after* you’d seen the movie, thus giving the Mrs. another chance to watch it, too. But to cut her off before the game even starts? That’s just not cricket.

  14. Solonor says:

    Oh, hey, I forgot to mention the little incident where she was praying to God to get the same deal as another store in her chain: A free sneak preview for the booksellers. And do you think she was all set to skip it, because I wouldn’t be able to go? Hell no!

    It’s a dog-eat-dog marriage we got, babe.

    Actually, after a mock “I’m not talking to YOU”, she said: “Good deal! I’ll just go without ya sometime.”

    *sigh* That’s why I married her. 🙂

  15. Mrs. R. says:

    Today I got to tell Solonor that HE made an appt with the doctor for Pepperkat at the same time as his movie. So NYAH!
    By the way, Ric- I prefer vodka now. Much smoother and packs a nice little punch.

  16. Ric The Schmuck says:

    And goes with most everything! 🙂

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