Carnival of the Vanities #29

This is my second time hosting Silflay Hraka’s Carnival of the Vanities in 2003. I decided to do something different this go ’round: to shut the hell up.

I thought I’d go back to the format original Carnivals and just give you the links and a snippet of the author’s work. No judgements. No snarky comments.

I repeat. I am not being lazy and unimaginative. Enjoy.

Desultory Ramblings
“I tell that them it didn’t SOUND RIGHT, and they look at me as if I practice voodoo magic. But that’s what Old Farts know that they don’t.” – Acid Man of Gut Rumbles

A Memoir of Scotland
“The most beautiful scenery I have ever seen was Scotland’s Western Highlands.” – John Ray of Dissecting Leftism

RIAA vs. Everyone
“Taking their que from the success of the coalition military drive into Iraq, the RIAA is now taking a ‘more demonstrative stance’ against music file swapping at American universities.” – Joe of Attaboy

The War And Discouragement
“At one point during the Battle of Britain in the winter of 1940, after a major air raid, the entire nation of Great Britain was defended by exactly seven fighter aircraft.” – James of Philosophical Blitzkrieg

Ode to Helen Thomas
“You will laugh, you will cry, you will cringe and perhaps feel the urge to throw up.” – Michele of A Small Victory

In My World: Cheney Wishes Undiclosed Location Was More Disclosed
“The only people who use the internet are pedophiles and crack-addicts,” Rumsfeld scoffed, “No one will care what they say.” – Frank of IMAO

(Not Martin Luther) King
“It takes the Washington Post’s Colbert King to task for arguing that a policy that discriminates against some people based on race is not really discriminatory if other members of the alleged victim’s group were not injured by the same policy, i.e., Michigan’s policy of giving 20 bonus points to minorities was not discriminatory because some whites and Asians got in anyway. Dumb.” – John of Discriminations

All right, that’ll be enough of that horsecrap
“‘Work harder, not…uh…yeah, work harder’ seems to be the crusty old Army corporate answer, and the spirit of George McClellan is alive and kicking.” – Wind Rider of Silent Running

My State of the World Address
“Thank God for our free American press that toes the line and does what the Pentagon tells it to.” – Seth of The Talking Dog

Creeps and Wierdos
“The irony (if Americans can do irony) is that not only do GM actually make buses, but the sort of person that rides the bus because they can’t afford a car isn’t going to buy a new vehicle, but a used beat-up old jalopy.” – Tim of Where Worlds Collide

Betrayal, Parts 1 and 2
“And this is why I feel the Liberals who protest, who disrupt the normal workings of a city and show horrible violent civil disobediance (Thoreau would be ashamed), and who feel so strongly that we threaten the Iraqi people they volunteer to become human shields – I feel they’ve betrayed me and betrayed the true liberal philosophy.” – Barry of Inn of the Last Home

It’s just a jump to the right
“So what Vincent offers is less a program for a revitalisation of the left than an attempt to smooth the pillow under its head while she administers a lethal injection: ideological euthanasia if you like, provided by the LA Times’s very own Nurse Ratchet.” – Tim of The Road to Surfdom

Iraqi Info Minister: Hussein Living It Up At Orlando Resort
“Dear Subjects: Hi from Uncle Saddam in sunny Florida. I fine, not being turned into lumpy pulp by puny cruise missile or anything like that.” – Steve of Little Tiny Lies

Going Crazy
“I was thinking it was good his father was dead, because no father could bear to see that son, or hear his awful promise.” – Mike of worldgonewrong

Danger And Insanity In Araby
“Rather than a 9-11 effect, I think the battle for Iraq has been akin to lancing the boil that is Araby and letting out the pus of self-loathing and anti-western hatred.” – John of Useful Fools

Respect For The Dead
“Here’s a question: what is the proper response when someone whose ideas and work we don’t like – or despise – or believe are dangerous and narmful and ultimately destructive to society, dies?” – James of The Eleven Day Empire

Bush Announces Plan to Privatize Daylight Savings
“Under my plan, the average American would receive one hour and 15 minutes of daylight savings after only 10 years.” – Paul of Smell the Blog

Well I Don’t Care About History
“And then Nurse Rached approached me with a needle the size of an ice pick, evil grin on her pinched face.” – Nicole of Go Fish

How Dare You?
“The only thing that stands before you and a despotic, iron-fisted dictator with ambitions to rule and opress the entire globe is a military with the will and strength to shed blood for the freedoms and liberties secured and guaranteed in the Constitution of the United States of America.” – Jim of JimSpot

The Pointy Haired Blix
“Little Tiny Lies came up with the idea. I just provided the visual.” – Bryan of Arguing with signposts

Google-Fight Club
“SON OF GOD CLOBBERS SON OF KRYPTON” – Peter of The World According to Pete

Los Angeles gangbangers in Seattle
“The defendant thought this older guy was his friend; instead the