League Rocked By Charges Of Nepotism
MIDDLE EARTH – Officials in the SGCBL were shocked by allegations made by several team owners in the wake of this week’s games. Though early in the season, at least two teams are threatening legal action against the league and its commissioner, Solonor Rasreth.
MESN has learned that owners of both the Bree Cheese and the Mirkwood Marauders have been in contact with league officials to express concern over the apparent nepotism in the current league standings.
“Just look,” said Cheese GM and owner, Sgt. Grump. “First place in the Hobbit Division? Wilderland (Solonor’s son). First place in the Orc Division? Dunharrow (Solonor’s brother). First place in the Troll Division? Isengard (Solonor’s own team!). It’s not fair!”
More damning evidence came in the form of a mysterious audio tape delivered to MESN studios by an anonymous source. The tape, which sounds like one half of a phone conversation, contains the voice of someone – quite possibly Solonor – speaking to an unknown person. A partial transcript follows:
[garbled] … according to plan. All we have to do is [garbled] by next season. Look! I’ve even got my separated-at-birth twin in first for crying out loud. One Spork Sistah is in first and one is only two games out, and Zuly my [garbled] just one back. Mwahahahaha…
In a strongly worded statement, league officials denounced the accusations as “baseless” and “sour grapes”. Mr. Rasreth could not be reached for comment.