Computer Stupidities is a site that has collected and categorized such winning episodes as:
Customer: “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
Customer: There are smoke and flames coming from my computer.
Tech Support: Uh, hang up, unplug the computer from the wall, and call the local fire department.
Customer: That’s not the problem. I need to know how to do a backup. Fastest possible method.
Customer: How do I print my voicemail?
I just want to know when they started tapping my phone…