Dare To Be Wicked Good

Pardon me for a moment. I’m about to slip into a foreign dialect for this little review. Anyone not from Maine (or who doesn’t have a sense of humor) should move along.

I was gettin’ ready to go ta work this mornin’ when I spied one a them theah cassette tapes on the kitchen countah. The label said it was “Wicked Good.” And, acourse, you know me, if it ain’t nailed down to a cement block, I’m just liable ta pick it up an’ check her out. You nevah know. Might be somethin’ interestin’. Maybe one a them theah self-help tapes what’ll raise your IQ whilst you sleep. I sez to myself, “Wouldn’t that be nice. Ayuh. I oughta try somethin’ like that out, don’tcha know.”

Turns out it were a tape of a record alblum from 1985 – back when they was still called “alblums” – by some group a yahoos called The Wicked Good Band. I seem ta recall that theah group was pretty dahn decent, so I shoved it in the tape playah and give it a listen. Tweren’t half bad, considerin’.

First up was an introduction sorta piece called “Dare to be Wicked Good.” It give me some idea of what they was up to when they talked about creatin’ a “Dare to be Wicked Good Maine Conversion Kit” to help people from away learn how to look like Mainahs. That were followed by the “Wicked Good” theme song:

Wicked good
And our romance, too, it’s wicked good
Just like turnips you’re my favorite food
Breakfast, lunch or dinner, wicked good

A commercial for “Old Lewiston Beer” (Lewiston, Lewiston, vous et ma maison.) and an ode to baked bean suppahs – “Baked Bean Boogie” – came next, followed by the politically incorrect “She’s So Massive”:

She’s so massive
Wicked, wicked massive
She went out swimmin’ with my brother Tom
She hit that water like a nukular bomb

The sad ‘n’ sappy “Half Live at the Half Moon” was followed by the theme song to “So You Think You Know Maine” (a quiz show on PBS back then). Next, they tried out a “Scratch ‘N’ Sniff” idea, promotin’ the smells of Maine. I particularly liked their reaction to the Rumford paper mill (“Godfrey! Who cut the cheese?”). A little ditty about sellin’ “Tacky Trinkets” to the tourists came next (a rhinestone-studded lobstah trap sounds wicked sharp to me). And they followed up with a barnyard animal version of “So You Think You Know Maine”.

Then came the piece of resistance: “Road Kill”

I know what you’re sayin’. You’re sayin’, “Lestah! That’s just sick!! Besides, what’ll them PETA folks think?” Well, ta hell with ’em! I think it’s wicked funny:

Road kill! Road kill!
I like drivin’ in the country, squishin’ critters on the grill
Road kill! Road kill!
Bashin’ beasties in my Blazer is a wicked decent thrill

After that, I didn’t expect much of anything, but “Kathadin Jeans” (a smarmy commercial from a guy named Pierre Kathadin) and “Ayuh, The Potato Pickin’ Song” (to the tune of Harry Belafonte’s “Jamaica Farewell” – “Ayuh! I said Ayyyyuhh! Gettin’ dark an’ me wanna go home”) had tears rollin’ down my cheeks like the time when Aunt Ethel from Bethel sat on my pet cat Fluffy.

Overall, I’d have to say that these Wicked Good fellahs were wicked decent, wicked sharp, wicked cunnin’ and just plain wicked good.

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6 Responses to Dare To Be Wicked Good

  1. Ric The Schmuck says:

    Yessah, that sure sounds like one whicked good cass-at tape ya got there, chummy…. Been a long time since I heard me that there Wicked Good Band.

  2. jay says:

    Ahhh, makes me feel like I’m back in Rhode Island because they talk like that there too. The things I miss about home…

  3. jadedju says:

    In seventh grade I told my mom that I thought Michael S. was “wicked cute”. I lived right outside of Boston, for gawd’s sake. She is still teasing me about it. (By the way, though the joke is still alive, I doubt that Michael S. is still wicked cute.)

  4. Domino says:

    Wicked Good! I remember that song, I also remember the Ka-ta-din Jeans commercial too. I might just have to order this one!

  5. Da Goddess says:

    I work with a gal from RI/MA and we get to laughing about her retahded use of wicked all the time. Shannon’s a delight and I love hearing her talk. I can never say “retarded” ever again.

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