Does not compute! Does not compute!

New Scientist: 13 things that do not make sense

The placebo effect, dark matter, methane on Mars, Planet X… Yes, this is a fascinating collection of some of the mysteries that plague scientists. But why are we wasting time and money on those things when there are so many more important questions that need investigation? Like:

If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
Why do they put braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Other mysteries:

  • The Laundry QuandaryWhere, exactly does lint come from and why does the quantity of lint change from load to load? If the washing machine is a closed system, how can socks disappear? When using public washing machines and dryers, why is it that every once in a while you will find someone else’s socks in your load even when you checked the washer/dryer ahead of time? These and other questions are the focus of organizations like the Bureau of Missing Socks and the paper Laundry: A Quantum Mechanical Approach by Brian J. Reardon
  • Superman vs. Flash – In a race between Superman and The Flash, who wins? Many scientific studies have been conducted, yet still the debate rages on.
  • Pauly Shore – ’nuff said. Oh, all right, if you must do further research, how about The Rise and Fall of Mr. Pauly Shore.

Scientists need to get their priorities straight.

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3 Responses to Does not compute! Does not compute!

  1. Ric The Schmuck says:

    This, my friend, is what you were put on Earth for.

    That, and because you make the best lists, and sing “Dead Flowers.”

  2. Solonor says:

    All right already! I’ll record damned “Dead Flowers”!!! It will be posted as soon as I get a chance. (Going to a wedding today.)

  3. Ric The Schmuck says:


    (Admit it, you know you’ve wanted to, right along. It’s OK.)

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