We came. We saw. We kicked their ass!
Last night’s meeting of Blogaholics Anonymous™ went off without a hitch. Not! But those are the kinds of things that make the experience more memorable.
I am going to try to give you a rundown of the events as I saw them. If they conflict in any way with those of other eyewitnesses, we’ll let you, the jury, decide who’s telling the truth.
We have our priorities straight.
Then, it was on to Rainforest Cafe to meet up with the lords of the blogiverse.
ME: We’re going to meet Jason. He invented Blogrolling.
KIDS: Coooool…. What’s blogrolling?
In truth, I didn’t know what to expect. Until now, these were semi-imaginary people! The great thing about blogs is that you get to know people by reading their printed thoughts (and sometimes seeing their pictures). But I’m not really Solonor. I’m not half as annoying in real life (shut up, Dawn). Would these folks be what I pictured in my warped mind?
Well, we arrived at the entrance to the Rainforest about five minutes before our 8pm reservation. No bloggers. It was frickin’ freezing (shut up, Bruce), so the family went into the gift shop to warm up. Then, I went back outside to go to the reservation station to see if anyone had checked in. And there they were, big as life.
ME: Ooh, this looks like a rowdy bunch.
THEM: *nervous laughter* Who is this creep?
ME: Um, I guess that’s what I get for not putting a picture on my blog.
THEM: Oh, THAT creep!
A hearty round of introductions ensued, then came THE WAIT.™ You see, apparently, reservations for 8pm at Rainforest Cafe mean you’re not planning on eating anything until 10pm… and that’s assuming you have Yvonne with a machete leading the way in…
Here’s a few clues to how long we waited outside:
- The girls had time to go shopping.
- Emily’s bare toes (in her cast) turned blue.
- Andrea had time to get lost and find us before we went in…
Finally, after several discussions about beating up another party for their spot and Yvonne putting some heavy moves on the reservation dude, they called our number… if we wanted to sit outside! So, we waited some more.
The good part was that we got to spend a bit of time talking to Dan. He and Venita got to talk book store lingo, while Kier put the moves on my daughter and Molly launched several unsuccessful escape attempts. Dan is cool. He’s one of those “I liked him as soon as I met him” guys.
Eventually, we made it into line for a table–which we STILL wouldn’t have gotten, if Yvonne hadn’t bullied them into not giving it away while we stood there! And, at last, we were seated… at separate tables.
See, I don’t think the folks at Disney knew the Princess of the Blogiverse was coming. They found out in a hurry. I actually felt sorry for the poor guys.
ROBYN: It’s my 30th birthday, and I want to sit with my fucking friends!
LACKEY: Don’t yell at me. I don’t have to take this…
ROBYN: Oh yes you do! Find me your fucking manager, then!
LACKEY: (to manager) Would you like to talk to this?
ROBYN: It’s my birthday, and you made me and my friends wait outside in the fucking cold for over an hour and now you’re not even letting us sit together?
STOOGE: I’m sorry, ma’am, but there’s nothing I can do. We can’t handle parties this large.
ROBYN: Then why the fuck didn’t you tell me that when I made this fucking reservation two fucking weeks ago?
STOOGE: Oh, look! I’ve got a couple of tables we can put together right over here…
Well, suffice it to say, we got to sit at the same table. It wasn’t great for talking (especially sitting right under the annoying animatronic gorilla that kept going nuts every five minutes–NO MORE MONKEYS!), but we were together at least. And we got the most tolerant of waiters in Wendel. Best. Waiter. Ever.
Then, of course, the cameras came out. I’m sure we’ll see lotsa pics on their blogs. I gotta gets me one a them things.
Emily, Venita and I got to sit and have a nice conversation with Andrea. Let me completely ruin her warblogging reputation and tell you that she’s a sweetie. No fire and brimstone shooting out of her eyes or anything.
Paul, on the other hand, was seated right in the middle of everything. He had the greatest time watching Yvonne get her happy on. There was a bit more rum in her rum and coke than humans should be allowed to drink…
I hardly got to talk to the Princess, Dick, Jason, or She Who Must Be Obeyed at all. Darn it. But overall, it turned out to be a great time with great people. I wish I’d had more time to talk to everyone, but at least I know their not just hallucinations anymore!
Update: Robyn’s got a few pictures up. I’m sure there will be more after they’ve finished up tonight’s debauchery.