Fortune Telling

Tonight, we went out to our favorite Chinese hole-in-the-mall, and in the span of an evening, I saw my childrens’ futures.

Whiny: I didn’t get a fortune! That. Just. Doesn’t. Happen. I have no future!
ME: Yes, but now you can beg people to take care of you. You’re the less fortunate.
Whiny: No, I’m the UN-fortunate.
Pepperkat: You got that right…

On the way out to the car, he kept looking around like a paranoid fugitive, hugging his sister’s arm. (“I need to stick with people that have a future. Emily, check the car door for explosives. Dad, you go in the house first…”)

Then, driving home, we get the female perspective.

Pepperkat: [insert boyfriend name here] said I could borrow his [insert video game, CD, book, or other teen paraphernalia here].
Charmian: I don’t think it’s a good idea to loan things with your friends.
ME: (singing of course) Neither a borrower, nor a lender be…
Pepperkat: But I’m not lending him anything. I’m borrowing.
Charmian: Well, I don’t think it’s fair that you get to borrow, when it’s not ok for you to lend stuff.
Pepperkat: But he doesn’t have any stuff. All his stuff is mine.
Charmian: (pumping fist into air) YES!
ME: (shaking head) The indoctrination is complete…

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7 Responses to Fortune Telling

  1. Ric The Schmuck says:


  2. simon says:

    “ME: (singing of course) Neither a borrower, nor a lender be…”

    You weren’t singing the Gilligan’s Island version of that, were you? “Neither a borrower nor a lender be / Do not forget / Stay out of debt / Think twice and take this good advice from me / A borrower nor a lender be! / There’s just one other thing you ought to do / To thine own self be true!”


    That’s probably my favorite episode of Gilligan’s Island…

  3. Solonor says:

    Is there another version? 🙂

  4. simon says:

    I really wasn’t sure… but you’re the first person I’ve run into who admits to seeing that episode of GI.

    Most people who I hear “sing” that line (and I’ve heard it a couple times, unbelievably), try to convince me they’ve seen a musical version of Hamlet.

    BTW… you’re blogrolled. Love the site.

  5. Pepperkat says:

    Okay, heres the thing. What I meant was: “He has pretty much everything I already have…” Heres the thing, I mess around with words sometimes okay?!?!?!?!

  6. simon says:

    Uh huh.

    (This is what I have to look forward to when my daughter reaches the teen years?)


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